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Can someone pls help...

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
Today I adopted my first cat, his name is Thomas (but I think I might change it). I came home with him around 2pm, when I let him out of the carrier I let him out in the front room. At first he just sat in an open corner. When I finished setting up his food and litter box I picked him up and held him for a little while to try to calm him down (he was shaking). Then I put him down so he could see his food and litter box. He stayed there for a split second then once I moved he slowly crawled accross the front room the a corner behind a stack of blankets and a speaker. He stayed there for a few hours.

While he was hidding in the corner I was online and read that I should have kept him in a smaller room at first instead of putting him in the biggest room in the house. So after feeling like a jerk I set up the room under my stair case (its the size of a walk in closet just a short ceiling in one part). I put his litter box in there,food, toys and a blanket. I again picked him up and held him to try to make him feel comfortable then let him down in the room.

He still has not eaten, I am getting worried because in the room he has decided to hid behind a box next to the wall. you can see him where he is at and when i went to check on him he lets me pet his face and lifts his head so i will pet under his chin, but wont come out or eat. The people i adopted him from said they give him wet food once a day, always at dinner now he has the dry food and wet, but still not eating.

Is there anything I can do to get him to feel more comfortable? How long should I let him hide/stay in his own area befor I bug him?
post #2 of 15
Awww poor little guy! It sounds like you are doing everything right. He just needs to get used to all the new sounds and smells in this new environment. Keep checking on him, touching him and talking softly. He'll soon become curious and want to check out the new place. As for eating, when cats are stressed they may not eat or drink for a day or so. He will eat when he feels safe.

We are a tad addicted to photos here so please do post some when you can. Keep us updated and welcome!
post #3 of 15
I agree, he needs time. Such you describe is quite common with new cats.

But. You are putting your question on the forum for strays and ferals. Is he a semiferal?
If so, better NOT to touch him just now.
Docile shy semiferals dont defend themselves, they just try to survive.
Thus him letting you cuddle him without hissing although he is highly afraid isnt necessary him being kind - but simply trying to survive...

Let him be. When he understands he is perfectly safe with you, he will also get the courage and curiosity and want to come to you.

Good luck!
post #4 of 15
Thread Starter 
Thank you both for your information. Sorry if I posted in the wrong area, I just figure those who work with the feral cats may know best since those cats are sometimes scared and need the most loving. As soon as I know he is a little more comfy I will post some pictures....but i'm telling you one look at this little guy your heart just melts.
post #5 of 15
Congratulations on adopting your adorable little guy.

You are doing everything right. Did you get any information about him from the place you adopted him? Do you know if he was comfortable there? Did they know he would be this frightened?

I have a very shy sensitve boy myself. I call him Little Guy.

Please keep us posted on his progress.
post #6 of 15
Even though he may not be a feral - or even semi-feral - as Amy (Momofmany) has pointed out before, you're absolutely right. The issues of undersocialized kitties are the same.

Here is an excellent article on socializing ferals. You'll probably find that your new baby boy will come around more quickly if he's not truly feral, but these ideas will help both of you.

Also, if you haven't read it already, this thread has loads of helpful suggestions (the kitty started out in a cage, but was released into a room, so keep reading. ) :

Basically, just turn off your clock and your expectations. Just let your kitty adjust in his own way. Because it's a really small room, and you can't do much in there, if you can sit in there and read out loud, or maybe open the door and iron in front of the room, or fold laundry - or find things to do that you're there, helping him get used to you - but not trying to interact with him.

It's all about building trust, and the first thing he needs to learn is that you don't want anything from him.

But I've said all this in the link to the thread I provided - I think it'll really help.

Most importantly - the more patient you can be, the more amazed you'll be at the bond you wind up with with this kitty. There's just nothing like it when they're so scared at first - and they then come to trust you.

Hang in there! And we love updates - and we're here if you need support or need to vent frustration.

post #7 of 15
Thread Starter 
ok so this is what i found out about him...
he has been with the same own since birth and he is about 2yrs old. They had him as an only pet til about 5 months ago. They got a dog then had a baby within a month of each other and then Thomas started peeing in a few particualr spots. They said since the new baby they had to give him up since they couldnt deal with the peeing.

so here is an update since last night....
I wanted to make sure he knew i was near by so i slept on the sofa so if he did pop out I would be right there. Right befor i went to bed i noticed he was no longer hidding between the box and the wall he was now out on top of a box just laying there. I talked to him for a little bit then he let me pet him for a little while. i didnt want to invade his space so i said good night and went to bed. When I woke up i went to check on him, i noticed he had went pee in his litter box then some time during the night went upstairs to the guest room and has now been hidding under the bed it since.
i came home on my lunch break to say hello but he wasnt trying to come out. I got a toy and strated trying to play to see if he would come out....nope still there. after i got off of work i again came to the guest room and tried to say hello but nothing he is still under there.
After i read your email about trying to read outload to him or doing little things near by I have since been reading all my emails out load and posts and pretty much everything i have been doing online i have talked myself through so he hears me. i just picked the doorway of the guest room and have been here, but still he is under the bed and not eating and i am being patient, but i really dont want him to get sick from not eating.
Thanks for all the support I really appreciate it, this is the hardest thing to just know he is scared and well i cant just snap a finger and make him feel better and know i just want to spoil him rotten.
post #8 of 15
Thread Starter 
i almost forgot...since he has now left the small room should i move his food and litter box upstairs in the guestroom or leave it down stairs in the little room? i have left all the doors open so he can go right back down stairs and in the small room since he found his way up there.
post #9 of 15
No, have his litter and food where he knows they are.

But you can have an extra litter (feks the travelling set) upstairs. Especielly as he did had some troubles with peeing before.
And some water too upstairs. Many cats drinks too little. So several water-places is always wise.

Them not eating or even not peeing/doing nr 2 during a couple of first days in the new home with new people is quite common. Not dangerous unless he is fat. Apparently this is a highly stressful situation for many cats!!!
Him peeing, and especielly peeing in the litter is a good sign.
post #10 of 15
Thread Starter 
thanks StefanZ...

I will leave the little room set up the way it was just in case he goes back in there for comfort. I dont have another litter box, but i will try to pick one up if i can get out of work early tomorrow.
In the mean while i put out a few really soft blankets in a few places in the guest room just in case he come out from under the bed and wants a softer place to hide. near one i put out a shirt i had on all day today...hopefully that helps.
Being this my first cat, honestly i feel just as scared as he is with him not eating or even coming out to use the bathroom.
post #11 of 15
I found myself in need of an extra litter pan in recent months. I found a large plastic tupperware type container with no lid and used that to get by until I could get one more suitable. I have also used old 13x9 baking pans. An old plastic storage container works or a cardboard box. I never had a cat until this past summer and now have two orphaned kittens and five ferals whose home was destroyed. I learned much the hard way in trying to figure out what to do. I love each of them and would not change a thing. Everyone on this site is incredibly helpful.
post #12 of 15
You should put out food, water and a litter pan in the spare bedroom for him. Our Simba would only come out from behind the headboard of our waterbed to eat, drink and use the bathroom is we were not in the room or near the bedroom. As soon as he heard us coming he would hide behind the headboard again. It took 4 weeks before he allowed me to even touch him. Hubby and I spent many of those nights just sitting on the bed, talking to him and watching TV. I would drop the odd kitty treat down between the wall and headboard for him. We got dabird toy and he would play a bit but still not come out.

You will need to use every ounce of your patience but it, plus your love, will win him over.

I personally would close the door and keep him in that room until he's more comfortable. We kept our bedroom door closed for the full 4 weeks and then opened it to let him discover the rest of the house at his own pace. That took another week before he actually made it down to the lower level where we all hung out in the evenings. Then he quickly became the biggest lap cat and baby you could imagine. He loved to be held in our arms on his back just like a baby.
post #13 of 15
Oh I totally agree with putting food, water, and another litterbox in the guest room for him. I don't know if he was in the small room long enough to think of it as his "safe space," and if he's chosen the guest bedroom, then maybe just add another set of things so he's got choices.

Given that he does let you pet him sometimes, I'm sure there's a love bug in there! I don't know what he's been through these past two years - but what happened to him during the five months he hasn't lived there?! He might have gone from a shelter to a foster, or been moved around in a shelter - and the poor boy doesn't know this isn't another temporary arrangement.

I think for a kitty like this routine is REALLY going to help him come around. Obviously spend what time you can near him - and the talking out loud is fabulous!

But if your schedule allows for it, I'd pick a number of things to do every day at the same time. Get a t-shirt really sweaty somehow, and put treats out on that for him each morning and evening (will help him associate your smell with wonderful things ). Don't even wait to watch him eat them - just make sure you put them out at the same time. If you have food out for him to free feed on, then feed him a small bowl of wet food every evening at X:00pm or whatever. Clean his litter box(es) every day at the same time. Wash and refill his water bowl every day at the same time. Invite him to play whenever you want - but invite him to play at least once at the exact same time every day. If he free feeds, fill his food bowl every morning at the same time.

The more routine you can work in, the more comfortable a kitty like this will feel, and I think the quicker he'll feel like he's "home."

Just remember - the problem is NOT you and NOT your home! My guess is his life has been pretty unstable for a while - and the people he loved and the place he knew as home for TWO YEARS threw his life into such a turmoil that he peed out of the box - and then they "abandoned" him. Poor baby!

It can be really hard - but we're here to help you be frustrated in writing and not with this lovable little boy. He's going to need time.


post #14 of 15
I was just wondering how this kitty is adjusting. Any updates?
post #15 of 15
Sounds like my situation as soon as I took Myla home from the shelter. Believe me it seroiusly DOES take time. They may not eat for a couple of days...buuuut, before long....they'll eat ya out of house and home! LOL! <333
Best of luck with your new addition to your family!
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