Aaaaw hun, I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time
Grieving is hard enough, but it sounds like you're frustrated as well. I suspect you're frustrated that you're still grieving after three months, but you're also frustrated because you've got these mood swings.
Can I just plesse suggest though that you stay away from the medication until you've had a shot at talking to a therapist? They always sound like a "quick fix" to a situation - I firmly believe that talking it out will help to relieve some of the tension and if you still feel you need that extra boost after talking, then go ahead. Try taking some St Johns Wort - it's a herbal antidepressant and it might offer a little pick-me-up withough filling your body full of chemicals.
Just something that I find helps sometimes:
1. When things go wrong, put it all down and walk away for a couple of minutes. Go and make a cup of coffee or tea and just sit down and breathe deep.
2. If you find yourself in a situation - no matter what it is - that is difficult for you and your boyfriend may be in a potential firing line, let him know that you're feeling a bit edgy and then close your eyes and count until you feel a little calmer.
The last one is this and it works a charm every time.
Sit down and breathe deeply. Picture yourself on a beach at dawn. The sun is just starting to rise and the sky is pink and cool and fresh. The breeze is blowing in the palms behind you, there are birds cheeping in the distance. The silver sand feels silky against you as you sit, the water is mirror calm and crystal clear. You can see in perfect detail the face of the person who has annoyed you today, just under the surface of the water as you hold it there. Feeling better yet?
Ok, I'm sorry that last one wasn't really helpful, but they do say that a little laughter helps.
It'll get better sweetie.