or Connect
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › Update on my grandpa...
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Update on my grandpa...

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
First: YAY!!!!!! I FINALLY got to go and see him. I am soooooo happy that after these past couple of weeks, it seemed like the proper time to go. I called today and explained that I would be going but, I'd go by myself because hubby has a cold as do both the boys.

When I got there, I was surprised to notice how much he had changed over the past little while. He is all skin and bones and, it was heartbreaking to see that. But I said nothing....

We talked for a short time, he actually has decided to do the Chemotherapy. He said he knows it will not cure him. The doctor has told him that there is no hope of that but....he was told that by doing the treatment, it may help him cope with everything and it will make his final months as comfortable as possible. He is going to have a mild treatment. Apparently the side effects are not as bad as we think. He seems very happy with this decision so...I am too. After about 10 minutes, he said did not feel good at all. He took his blood pressure. It was 124/56. He said it was not good. And then, he went to bed.

Grandma and I talked for some time. She knows he will not survive and she is as prepared as can be expected. All she says is that they have led a nice, long life and that it's time. I almost cried when she said that but, I didn't. Then, we talked about what she would do after. She really loves her new appartment and wants to stay where she is. She has neighbors checking in on her all the time and she loves it there. She says she does not think she could afford it all alone so....I piped up and told her that she would be staying there as long as she wants. I would make sure she can. I guess, when (because it is not 'if') grandpa goes, I will go over there, figure out what she can afford and have told hubby that we will chip in to make sure she does not have to move. This was the one time in my life I said something before talking to hubby. And....when i told him,he immediately said the same as me. It made me realise once again why I love him so much! I just couldn't bear to think that this is a worry on grandma's mind right now. She needs to feel safe, secure and as comfortable as can be. That's where she wants to be, that's where she'll stay. Of course....my door is always open for her but she wants do do her own thing as long as she can.

I feel better having seen them both. But, I looked into their eyes several times today and couldn't help but wonder if that would be my last time doing that for either one and that...was scary.
post #2 of 15
Aww Ghys ((((HUGS))))
I wish I knew what to say, except that you are in my thoughts and prayers. You have a wonderful heart of gold.

post #3 of 15
Ghys, you are in my thoughts.
post #4 of 15

I really don't know what to say, except that your post brought back very vivid memories of my father's final months. It was so difficult to see him get weak and thin, so I can imagine what you are going through.

I wish there was a statement I could make that would help, but lacking one, let me just say that I feel your sorrow and wish you and your family all the best in upcoming times.
post #5 of 15
I'm so glad you were able to spend some time visiting with your grandparents. You and your grandparents and also the rest of your family will be in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.

post #6 of 15
I'm so glad you were able to see your grandparents this weekend. It is difficult to see someone you love suffer. Did you tell him you love him? You are a very generous person to offer that to your grandma, but we already knew that you have a heart of gold.

The doctors do that kind of chemo for certain patients. A friend of my mother's was in a similar situation. Her cancer was too far spread to be treatable, but they put her on low doses of chemo to stop the spread and give her more time to spend with her family. Gloria did very well, and lived much longer than they expected. She also didn't really go downhill healthwise until the very end. It's a sad story, but it really was meant to give you hope. I hope it accomplishes that.
post #7 of 15
Thread Starter 
Thanks guys....

I know I have to prepare myself. Not quite sure how to accomplish such a thing but, I have no choice. I have a feeling when the day comes, I will most probably be coming here in search of a hug....you guys always seem to pull through for me and shower me with support. I don't even think 'Thank You' is enough..... When you are losing a loved one, there is just so much talking you can do amongst family before you relise that maybe, someone needs a change of subject because it is emotionally draining to deal with this. Over here, with you guys, I can spill my guts, feel better and know that I am being heard without hurting or annoying anyone.

One thing that keeps popping into my head is that today, grandpa looked at me and said "I'm so happy that I'll be able to celebrate my 80th birthday" He'll be 80 on March 13th. That phrase brings a lump in my throat.

Deb (((HUG)))...it is very difficult to see someone you know transformed into someone almost unrecognizable...sorry you had to go through that with your father. It is not a nice experience. I've also just lived through that with my father-in-law. It was much worse with him. I'm almost terrified of the same thing happening to my grandpa.

Heidi (((HUG))),....No, I did not get a chance to say the words but.....I had bought them a beautiful Valentine's Day Card that expressed all that I wanted to say. I did think about it but, for some reason, I could not grasp the perfect moment. He ended up not feeling well and got up and went to bed. I more or less spent 15 minutes with him and we talked about what he was going through. After all the advice I got, I still could not speak the words. I don't know....it's much harder than I thought. What's weird is that it's not like I'm telling a lie or something. Thank you for your touching story. It actually brings some peace to my thoughts because it confirms what grandpa is telling me about it rendering his final days as comfortable as possible. We all know that this is it. We just have to deal with it the best we can.

His first treatment is March 7th. (the day my dad passed away soooooooo, this means he'll have a guardian angel at his side to help him through)

Kellye, Daniela, Lorie...thank you for always being here for me. (((HUGS)))
post #8 of 15
Whisker's Mom,

I am happy for you!
BTW, I thought of you and your grandfather, but did you see the new vaccine for lung cancer that is out? It was on MSN's web site today. Might be worthwile to read about if you'd like.
post #9 of 15

Just know that you're in my thoughts..... I wear my dad's old dog tags from the army every day, so that I can think about him. I'll be thinking about your grandpa too.
post #10 of 15
Ghys, I'm glad you got to spend time with your grandparents. I was wondering how your grandpa was doing. I don't know what else to say, except that you are a wonderful person to offer to help your grandma like that. I'll keep you in my thoughts as you and your family deal with this difficult situation.
post #11 of 15
Ghys, I am so happy for you - that sounds like a lovely and long overdue visit.

If he is thinking about his 80th birthday, then there is every reason to expect that he will be around for that. You can tell him that you are really proud to have an 80 year old grandpa! And that was a wonderful thing that you said about helping your grandma stay in their apartment.

My mom wanted to know that we would all take care of each other. She wanted to know that we were going to be sad and miss her. And she wanted us to tell her that we loved her, and even though that was difficult (we were not used to saying that), when the right time came it was easy. So you can show him, by visiting, caring for your grandma, and just being there for both of them.
post #12 of 15
Ghys - you and your family have been in my prayers. Hope all goes well with his treatment!
post #13 of 15
I am so glad you were able to spend time with him! Hopefully the choice he made will bring him some peace. I am keeping him in my prayers!
post #14 of 15
Aw, Ghys, I'm so happy to hear you got to see your grandpa! When I saw the thread, I was wondering the same thing as Heidi - but you had Valentines to say it for you. I'm so happy to hear that!!!! Your grandpa's words are encouraging. We are always here with hugs.

...and I'm also so happy to hear about hubby.

post #15 of 15
Ghyslaine....I just now read this. I am so glad you got to see your grandpa! I am glad his decision to do the Chemotherapy seems to be going well. I continue to pray for him and for your whole family during this difficult time. I am so glad you feel you can come here and talk about it with us and you know that we care!

Keep us posted and you and your grandpa will remain in my prayers. And by the way, you are an angel (and so is your husband) for offering to help pay some of her expenses when the time comes so that she can remain in her home.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Cat Lounge
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › Update on my grandpa...