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Financial Blues

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
I'm just having a sucky day. Actually, if I'm honest, a sucky bank account. That's just the way of it. I started my day looking for a way to take out a loan so that I can pay off my overdraft of 15000DKK, and still have some money left to start my education with. I've discovered that the overdraft is just a really vicious circle, (I earn about 7000DKK every month) but once that money is in the account, I still have to use it for bills and food etc. So the overdraft never gets any smaller. It's only that big because I had no other option at the time. Now I'm sick of having it hanging over my head and I desperately want to get rid of it. The idea is that I could take the loan, pay the overdraft, pay my education and then I've got a better chance of paying back the loan in smaller manageable chunks every month and a better chance of a better job because of the education... rather than sitting hanging around and waiting for the moon to drop out of the sky... I've tried to save money, but with one thing after another, it always finishes up being used for an unexpected bill. So I've never anything left.

I SOOOOO need a new job.

I managed to get rid of all my outstanding debts in the UK, so it's about time I got a handle on this and sorted it out too. I've been talking to DH about taking a loan..... and he's suggested that he lends me the money I need and I can pay him back - even if he asks me for the same interest as he would get on his bank account (3.75%) it's still MUCH less than it would cost me to take out a loan from a bank (16-26%). But still, my conscience is not liking this idea - even though I know it's the sensible choice - I don't want to have to borrow money from him. This is my mess and I would feel best if I could sort it out myself. It's my independent streak kicking in again. I need to sort something out before I go on vacation, so that I don't have to worry about it when I come home again.... but I don't want to have to o it this way.

Does anyone know what I'm trying to explain? There's the shame of having the debt in the first place... and then the added "bonus" of being bailed out of it by my DH. I'm angry at myself for getting into this mess to start with. I broke even a little while ago, and I would have removed the overdraft altogether - if I could have survived for tht month without eating. :P But, slowly but surely, that overdraft was eaten into again because we suddenly hit the expensive end of the year. Birthday after birthday after Christmas and new year after cats vaccines - and mine!

I'm so sick of this.
post #2 of 13
We just want to say that we hope everything goes better for you
Heres tons of For everything to go well...
post #3 of 13
You're fortunate to have a husband who can pay the debt for you. However, why would it be a loan? You are married and your income is joint, so his debts are yours and yours are his.

I understand your need for independence, but if your husband is willing to front you the money to pay the debt, don't be foolish and turn it down. Even if it is a "loan". He will be more forgiving if you can't make the monthly payments than a lending facility will be.

Now is not the time to let pride get in your way.
post #4 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
You are married and your income is joint, so his debts are yours and yours are his.
I have to agree with this......Jerry and I have no separate debt or any money that is actually seperate....I handle our finances and what's his is mine and what's mine is his.......

Hang in there......you'll figure this one out!
post #5 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
You are married and your income is joint, so his debts are yours and yours are his.

I understand your need for independence, but if your husband is willing to front you the money to pay the debt.
I agree. My late husband and i just had both our wages in one account and what was mine was his and vice versa. Even a bf who i lived with, we always helped the other out if it was needed but never asked for it back.
post #6 of 13
The same here, Dh and I share all of our accounts, vehicles, what is mine is his , what is his is mine
post #7 of 13
Yeah, in the words of a two-year old, "What's mine is mine and what yours is mine, too." Toddlers think interest is only in you and their toys.
post #8 of 13
It confuses me a lot to think of a husband giving his wife a loan and expecting interest! In every case I know between US married people, everything is joint in accounts when it comes to financial matters.
post #9 of 13
Eric and I are not even married yet, and still have separate bank accounts, but I can't imagine him asking for interest if I needed a large chunk of money. And after we're married, forget it! It all will turn into "ours", not his and hers.
post #10 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by cococat View Post
It confuses me a lot to think of a husband giving his wife a loan and expecting interest! In every case I know between US married people, everything is joint in accounts when it comes to financial matters.
not if you hide it.
hmm not that i would do that of course.

anyway LilleKat, i hope that things get better for you.
I do agree that there is noting wrong with DH helping out with the school thing.
post #11 of 13
Yeah, I'm not getting the loan with interest from your husband either....Scott and I are engaged and have separate accounts and have helped one another out from time to time, but I'd be pretty darn if he MADE me pay it back, plus interest. We usually end up paying each other back in the long run, so it doesn't matter. Is there a time table? Whose idea was it? Yours or his?

I know the feeling of not being able to afford college and the independent nature, but hang in there and good times will come. It's a pride thing, I know.
post #12 of 13
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
You're fortunate to have a husband who can pay the debt for you. However, why would it be a loan? You are married and your income is joint, so his debts are yours and yours are his.

I understand your need for independence, but if your husband is willing to front you the money to pay the debt, don't be foolish and turn it down. Even if it is a "loan". He will be more forgiving if you can't make the monthly payments than a lending facility will be.

Now is not the time to let pride get in your way.
Uhm, we're not married. His finances are his own, mine are my own. We don't have joint accounts, we keep out finances as separate as possible - but we do lend money back and forth from time to time. We don't ever intend to have joint accounts because of the fact that there are so many married couples who end up divorced and have a huge mess to sort out financially. We don't intend to divorce, of course, but we're trying to stay as realistic as possible and try to cover all eventualities. We are going to be making a prenup agreement that I will take what's mine and he, his, if the unthinkable should happen. It will also be in the agreement that we will reconsider our positions as and when we have children.

Quote:
but I'd be pretty darn if he MADE me pay it back, plus interest. We usually end up paying each other back in the long run, so it doesn't matter. Is there a time table? Whose idea was it? Yours or his?
I think there was some confusion on the matter here and I didn't really explain properly - it was his suggestion to lend me the money - it was mine to pay him the 5% interest. That way there is a little something in it for him as a thankyou, and not as HUGE an interest rate as a loan company would give me (usually anywhere between 16-30% here. He didn't actually want me to pay extra, but he suggested it - just the 3.75% he would get on it if it was in his bank account - because he knows what my pride is like. I suggested that I could pay 5% (I suck and .75s and .25s... I can at least work out round numbers) and he was willing to go along with it if it made me feel better about borrowing the money. I wanted to at least be able to pay something a bit extra at a rate I could afford, and after discussing it more he has said he will take that little bit extra and probably invest it for us.


We've decided to sort things out this way after all.... what I was really doing was just venting a bit of frustration, not asking advice, but I should have made my post a little bit clearer, my bad. When I try to let off steam my fingers run away with me and my head gets a bit fuzzy, so I end up missing bits out and not explaining things as well as I would like to! And besides, sometimes we are all such a close-knit group of people that it's hard to remember that you guys aren't aware of everything that goes on in my day to day life!

Thankyou all for the responses though My pride can really bum me out sometimes, so it's nice to have somewhere to rant a bit and clear my head again. Thanks guys
post #13 of 13
I'm glad to hear that things worked out!

Yes, having a lot of debt is NEVER fun and often adds more unnecessary stress than you need!
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