Closing my mom's estate (warning...rant!)

Ok, mom passed away in 2004 and I've been a bit lazy about closing her estate, but since then I've had to clean out her house, sold it, got married, sold the rental house that we were living in, moved, built a house, moved again and DH had 4 surgeries. Ok...that being said, we're finally getting everything in order and turned everything they said they needed. Yesterday, I went to ask for another extension because one credit card company hasn't sent us a satisfaction letter to show it was paid off. We have called them I don't know how many times. One time, the person on the phone had to check to see if he could mail out a duplicate of a letter that was addressed to me!

Anyway, when I went in with my little letter to ask for an extension...I was sent to court! Right then and there, I was in a panic! I mean, I got nervous the few times I went to traffic court, and here I am in sweats, looking like crap and DEFINITELY not in any condition for a court room appearance (I'm picturing Law and Order or something). So, I had to go in front of 3 judges and explain why I need an extension. I explained about the credit card company and everything that has gone on in the last few years. One judge was a real B*tch but the other two were nice. The b*tchy one said "well, there is a time limit to when estates have to be completed you know". I informed her I DIDN'T know that because all the times I was in no one ever told me. In fact, my husband's grandfather's estate is still open after 8 years. (Of course, everytime I came in, I was told I needed something different. I have submitted what they told me to submit 3 times...and all were different things, but that's another story). So, I did get a 30 day extension.

But, here's the best part. After court, I met with a rep in register of wills. Now, I'm an only child and mom's will states that if her husband dies first everything will go to her children (it was written up when I was 2). Mom had a baby before me that was still born, but she always considered him her son. She had a mother's right with his birthstone and mine. So in her obituary I had it say that she was predeceased by her son. Now, because her will says "children" and doesn't name me specifically, the courts are worried about whether her son had any children! I have already explained to them that he was still born so therefore couldn't have had any children, but it's still an issue with them! I've even offered to get a copy of his death certificate for the file, but they dont' want that. It's like everytime someone looks at the file, I have to start all over.

I just don't understand why I have to jump through hoops and have all this added stress when I'm the ONLY HEIR. It was hard enough going through everything and selling the houses...I just want it over with.

Sorry, this is longer than I meant it to be, but I just needed to vent.

Aw, that's tough, I hope you get it all over with soon. It's so annoying dealing with a lot of people like that since nobody has accountability. I'd bring in your brother's death certificate anyway, even if they aren't asking for it. Good luck!

I paid a lawyer to handle my late estranged husbands estate last year so there were no stones left unturned. I handled the sale of his apartment, but that was it because there was too much to do

cause that is what they do, Make life hard.
years later, my father still gets stuff in my mothers names. no matter how many times he tells them she is dead.

Oh hon I'm so sorry your going through this and they are making it so hard! Shame on them! I'd try to get every document possible in one big file thingy and bring it with you if you can.

I'm sorry that they are making this harder than it has to be! It is my experience that when dealing with any form of the government it is always best to make copies of everything and bring the whole file with you anytime you have to deal with them. It will make life a lot simpler. Also you should get one notebook and keep all your notes in there. I hope that this all gets settled soon!

OMG I'm so glad I'm not the only one dealing w/this! My mother passed in June '05 and I just filed for my first extension, but hopefully I won't need any more.

I am the only child as well, but NOT the only heir -- mom wanted 5% of her estate to go to each of two church groups, so I'm having to get an appraisal on the house (which, yes, I should have done ages ago but didn't, and then I got pregnant, and now I have an infant) before we can finalize everything. I think all the cc's are paid off *fingers crossed* so as soon as we determine the appraisal value we can value the estate, pay off the 5% beneficiaries and be DONE.

I do have a very good estate atty who has stuck by me even tho I haven't been the most cooperative client I am sorry the courts have been giving you the runaround. I agree w/pp's: keep copies of and notes on EVERYTHING!

See my pm to you!

That stinks

Is it possible for you to look into getting lawyer to handle the estate affairs? Like someone else said, I would still bring in the still born's death certificate. Good luck!

There is so much to closing an estate, I would find a professional that knows the hoops and knows how to handle it in a timely fashion. Sorry for your loss and sorry it is so frustrating.

Originally Posted by RicaLynn

OMG I'm so glad I'm not the only one dealing w/this! My mother passed in June '05 and I just filed for my first extension, but hopefully I won't need any more.

I am the only child as well, but NOT the only heir -- mom wanted 5% of her estate to go to each of two church groups, so I'm having to get an appraisal on the house (which, yes, I should have done ages ago but didn't, and then I got pregnant, and now I have an infant) before we can finalize everything. I think all the cc's are paid off *fingers crossed* so as soon as we determine the appraisal value we can value the estate, pay off the 5% beneficiaries and be DONE.

I do have a very good estate atty who has stuck by me even tho I haven't been the most cooperative client

I am sorry the courts have been giving you the runaround. I agree w/pp's: keep copies of and notes on EVERYTHING!

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Thank you everyone for your empathy. And RicaLynn, that must be a nightmare for you! I also had to get both houses appraised, and the furniture and jewelry to make sure they aren't of any massive value (yeah, I wish!). It is a major pain!

And, I have made copies of everything. The first time I called, they said all they needed were copies of the estate check book ledger and satisfaction letters from the credit card companies. I turned them in. Then, they said no, we need copies of the bank statements and copies of the cancelled checks, so we turned them in. THEN, they wanted an itemized print out of everything that was spent from the estate, and where it went, with receipts. So, we digged through everything and somehow made it come out right by the grace of god. Now it's just that stupid credit card letter, which I'm pretty sure we already turned in because when we called the last time they said they only needed 3 letters and we turned in 3. DH says the person he talked to already talked to the credit card company and they said it was paid in full so he has verbal confirmation.

I'm just really stressing about this, and it probably isn't as bad as it sounds. But, thanks for all the support!