Do you suffer from depression?

lisalee

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I was just wondering how many of you suffer from depression or have had a depressive episode in the past? I think they say about 1 in every 4 women suffer from depression. I know there are some people who suffer their entire lives with depression, and gosh I feel so much for these people. I have not suffered my entire life, but have been struggling with this illness for the past 4-5 years now. It has mostly I believe to do with life changes, getting older and things not working out the way I thought they would in general. I don't cry often, but my feelings are mostly being really moody and irritable and feelings of hopelessness. It's like I'm moving in "slow motion" a lot. I know everyone's feelings are different and how they experience depression.

I just wonder why some people suffer from this horrible illness and others never experience depression. I'm sure it also has a lot to do with family history, my mother had anxiety/panic attacks and depression and I watched her suffer her whole life. I'm sure this played some part in it, along with brain chemistry.
 

catloverin_ks

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I have not suffered my entire life, but I do go through episodes where I get VERY depressed.....yesterday was one of them! It was awful!! I was crying over everything(pms dont help any,lol) but I mean yesterday was just awful! I hated life and pretty much just about anybody that was around me!


I also suffer from anxiety, but am on medicine for that.

I feel sorry for anyone who lives their whole life depressed.
 

lunasmom

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I have had bouts of it, similar to yours, where things didn't work out the way I planned.
 

pookie-poo

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I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), and I can honestly say I've had it since my mid-teens. I started getting treatment, in the form of antidepressants, in my early 30's. My sister suffers terribly from depression and anxiety, but unfortunately, refuses to seek treatment. My father, all of his sisters, and his mother, have all suffered bouts of depression, some worse than others. My father never has been treated, but 4 of his six sisters have. I ask my doctor for a prescription for Prozac in the fall, and keep it on hand in case I feel the depression coming on. Some winters I don't need it, other winters, I definitely do! So far, this winter (knock wood) I haven't needed them, but I have the prescription waiting to be filled. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that antidepressants are the reason I'm still alive.

My heart really goes out to you, Lisa. I know first hand, how debilitating it can be. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
 

bnwalker2

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I suffer from depression as well, it comes and goes. I also have anxiety and panic disorder. Since I've been with John I've gotten a lot better about both, I used to barely be able to leave the house but we go places all the time which helps me a lot.
 
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lisalee

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Thank you for the thoughts and prayers Kelli Jo, it's funny you mention Seasonal Affective Disorder since I normally do better this time of the year. I know most people suffer from SAD during the winter time. I'm just the opposite, usually doing better this time of year. My depression always worsens during the spring/summer with the longer hours of daylight and the warmer weather. My mother also did worse during the summer months.



Originally Posted by Pookie-poo

I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), and I can honestly say I've had it since my mid-teens. I started getting treatment, in the form of antidepressants, in my early 30's. My sister suffers terribly from depression and anxiety, but unfortunately, refuses to seek treatment. My father, all of his sisters, and his mother, have all suffered bouts of depression, some worse than others. My father never has been treated, but 4 of his six sisters have. I ask my doctor for a prescription for Prozac in the fall, and keep it on hand in case I feel the depression coming on. Some winters I don't need it, other winters, I definitely do! So far, this winter (knock wood) I haven't needed them, but I have the prescription waiting to be filled. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that antidepressants are the reason I'm still alive.

My heart really goes out to you, Lisa. I know first hand, how debilitating it can be. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
 

natalie_ca

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I do! And I'm not afraid to admit to it either. It's a legitimate illness, just like having diabetes or heart disease and nothing to be ashamed of.

I was a complete basket case for a couple of years. I was having panic attacks, I cried at the littlest thing, I had no motivation to do anything and I was easily overwhelmed with things which would lead to a panic attack.

I went to my doctor in early 2003 and told him what was going on. He put me on Celexa 20mg once a day. I went back in a month for a follow up. I told him that I noticed some improvement but felt that there was still room for more. So he upped my dose to 30mg once a day.

During that month I was having one of the rarer side effects... micturition. Basically I had an uncontrollable urge to pee! The instant my brain registered that I had to go... I had no time to get to the bathroom before my bladder released a bit of urine
I took to wearing Attends pads


I talked to the pharmacist about it and she told me that it is a very rare side effect and one that if you experience tends to not go away if it persists longer than 2 weeks.

I mentioned the side effect to my doctor when I went for my 1 month follow up, who ignored me as usual. I decided to give it a couple of months more to see if anything changed, besides, I liked feeling "normal" again and I figured having to wear an Attends pad was a minor inconvenience that was worth it to me!

For some crazy reason that side effect eased off after about 3 months!


I felt normal again, and I didn't have to wear an Attends pad anymore and life was good.

With Celexa you can go up to 40mg per day. In November my stress was pushed beyond and then some, and I filed for bankruptcy. Between that and the holidays I found myself crying pretty much all of the time and really feeling down. I increased my dose to 40mg and I feel much better for having done that.

My brain needs help regulating it's chemicals, so I suspect I'll be on an antidepressant for the rest of my life. Looking back on my life I have had signs of depression going back to when I was a teenager but learned to compensate and cover it up.

Finally I took the step to get myself some help and I feel all the better for having done that!
 
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lisalee

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I'm so glad to hear your meds are working for you, it must be such a relief for you to feel better. I've tried Lexapro and even at a higher dose there was no difference in me. I've had ADHD my whole life, so I believe I'm dealing with a little more than just depression, which may make it a little harder to find the right treatment. I've never experienced the anxiety/panic attacks though that my mom has, thank god. I do sometimes get anxiety now though from just worrying too much.

Your so right, it's nothing at all to be ashamed of admitting you have. It's an illness just like any other illness, sometimes worse I believe than having physical pain.




Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

I do! And I'm not afraid to admit to it either. It's a legitimate illness, just like having diabetes or heart disease and nothing to be ashamed of.

I was a complete basket case for a couple of years. I was having panic attacks, I cried at the littlest thing, I had no motivation to do anything and I was easily overwhelmed with things which would lead to a panic attack.

I went to my doctor in early 2003 and told him what was going on. He put me on Celexa 20mg once a day. I went back in a month for a follow up. I told him that I noticed some improvement but felt that there was still room for more. So he upped my dose to 30mg once a day.

During that month I was having one of the rarer side effects... micturition. Basically I had an uncontrollable urge to pee! The instant my brain registered that I had to go... I had no time to get to the bathroom before my bladder released a bit of urine
I took to wearing Attends pads


I talked to the pharmacist about it and she told me that it is a very rare side effect and one that if you experience tends to not go away if it persists longer than 2 weeks.

I mentioned the side effect to my doctor when I went for my 1 month follow up, who ignored me as usual. I decided to give it a couple of months more to see if anything changed, besides, I liked feeling "normal" again and I figured having to wear an Attends pad was a minor inconvenience that was worth it to me!

For some crazy reason that side effect eased off after about 3 months!


I felt normal again, and I didn't have to wear an Attends pad anymore and life was good.

With Celexa you can go up to 40mg per day. In November my stress was pushed beyond and then some, and I filed for bankruptcy. Between that and the holidays I found myself crying pretty much all of the time and really feeling down. I increased my dose to 40mg and I feel much better for having done that.

My brain needs help regulating it's chemicals, so I suspect I'll be on an antidepressant for the rest of my life. Looking back on my life I have had signs of depression going back to when I was a teenager but learned to compensate and cover it up.

Finally I took the step to get myself some help and I feel all the better for having done that!
 

natalie_ca

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Originally Posted by lisalee

It's an illness just like any other illness, sometimes worse I believe than having physical pain.
Yes, it is worse because of the stigma attached to it. No one thinks twice about someone who has a heart problem or diabetes that requires medication. Yet they think you are "mental" because you have to take antidepressants.

I'm quite open about taking them, even at work. I found out that after I "came out of the closet" and talked openly, that a great number of nurses that I work with are also on antidepressants.
 

lillekat

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I've not suffered all my life, though I have had the lowest of lows when I have contemplated suicide. I went to my own doctor (to be referred to a specialist) after my darkest episode, because all I really needed was a little support and an ear to listen for once - and he tried to give me prozac. (Why is it they try to solve everything with pills, before trying all the other alternatives first? Especially if you tell them what it is you want to try) Which I'm allergic to, apparently. But you don't really find out that you're allergic to fluoxitine until after it's in your system and you're lying on your bathroom floor wishing you had actually died instead. That was horrible. My DH has been wonderful because it took me such a long time to recover once I'd moved out to live with him. I spent three months in bed, which he was perfectly happy to let me do if it was what I needed to just get the mental rest I really REALLY needed. He's been super patient and forgiving - God bless him for that - the only thing with more tolerance would be a brick!

I do suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder, where I get really down and low without sunshine - but so does my best beloved, which is why we try to get away during January every year. If not, like last year, I try to hit the sun beds and use my sun lamp as often as I can. It's not ideal, but it provides an alternative.
 

bella713

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I have not suffered all of my life but when Bella got sick and then eventually died I got in deep and am in counseling right now, but no drugs so far...I have no problem with going on something but we are trying to get through this without them.
 

sofiecusion

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I have not had it my whole life, but did go through quite an ordeal the first few years after my brother died...
 

stacyd1987

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I've been dealing with depression most of my life. When I was younger, I was taking various types of ADHD drugs. (was misdiagnosed just because I was a highly active kid.
) One them made me not want to eat and another made me sleep so much that my parents had to give me 1/4 of that tiny pill a day! All of the drugs though made me depressed though, thank goodness I started to refuse them when I was 12.
I think my lowest point was in bootcamp when I had to leave my beloved flight and squadron because I had strained my shoulder to the point where I couldn't move it. I seriously did not want to go into medical hold, that place was depressing enough and I had to spend a few weeks there while my shoulder healed. I actually left there earlier than I should have just to get out of that environment because it had gotten to the point that I just did not care about anyone or anything. Thank goodness one of the squadron instructors noticed and helped me get out by pushing myself even more.
I've had suicidal thoughts before but it was more like, what-if. It was interesting to imagine how much time would go by before anyone could possibly notice anything. I sometimes think about that still but I've never gotten close to planning anything and I never will.
 

kaylacat

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I do. I can remember it affecting me around 14, when I started to become a cutter. The cutting only lasted a couple years because at one point I was so upset that I stabbed myself (not too deeply) in the arm. That scared me enough to quit that (except for a few occassions when I was really upset). I'm proud to say that I don't do that any more though.


The depression got really bad when I was around 17. We had moved away from my friends, and everything I knew and I hated it. Around 18 my socail anxiety got worse and I ended up housebound with agoraphobia. I'm 22 now, I still struggle with panic attacks and agoraphobia (I basicly only leave when I have a doctors appointment or absolutely have to) but I am trying to work on it.

I am on 40mg of paxil and take 3 klonopin a day. They help alot.
I will not let the disease (all 3 of them) win. I am trying to take small steps to get better and get my life back to at least halfway normal but I know that it will take a while.

I will say though, if I didn't have my babies I wouldn't still be here. They are my angels and I will always be very thankful for them.
 

mlynn

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I have a strange view on "depression". I both tink it exists and that it does not exist(as its own entity).

I am a firm believe that depressive feelings aren't caused by chemicle imbalance and that they aren't actually "depression" but a manifestation of unexpressed emotion. I do however believe that the feeling themselves - when felt for long enough - can change the way a persons brain functions (ie I don't believe the feelings are caused by checmicles but that the chemicles are a result of the feelings). When emotion goes unexpressed for long enough it HAS to manifest itself some way - depression, saddness, anxiety are the bodies way of releasing those emtoions. Many people who go into treatment for problems in thier life - discover with the help of therapy - that there emotions are the result of some ungrieved loss, childhood abuse, early trauma exc. I am not saying that depression CAN'T exist for no reasons in a perfectly health person who has never had an ounce of trauam or loss in thier lives - just that it is unlikley.

I for example am an ACOA - adult child of an alcoholic who has suffered with anxiety and panic attacks and some form of (what I believe to be) PTSD my entire life. I was never a "normal" kid and I am not now a "normal" adult - although I am a functional one.

I have a sadness that is always with me. Some might call that depression....but I don't. I consider it grieving. I cosider it 22 years of raw repressed emotions that were FORCED down and are now surfacing...I think feeling those feelings is the only healthy way to walk through them. The loss I experienced in early life - the wishes and hopes - the feelings of disapointment that I can't have a loving family like most people - that I will never have what some women dream of - stays with me always. It is loss. It is raw pain. There is nothing that can replace it or make it better - there is a hole in my heart where there shouldn't be and thier is no "making up for" or substitute for what was lost and can never be regained. All I can do is recognize that fact and try to live through it.

I however don't think I am depressed in the general sence of the word - nor am I in denial.
 
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lisalee

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Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences with depression and I'm glad to hear some of you are being helped by meds and hopefully with some of you it was only a one time experience that you will never have again.

I agree that are kitties do help us tremendously, don't they? But, sometimes the worrying I can do about Sash can drive me crazy too, lol! Right now though the kid is laying right next to me as I type and things could not be better.
 

stacyd1987

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Originally Posted by lisalee

I agree that are kitties do help us tremendously, don't they? But, sometimes the worrying I can do about Sash can drive me crazy too, lol! Right now though the kid is laying right next to me as I type and things could not be better.
I agree as well! Even when I get really sad and overwhelmed, our kitties come right to me to show their love and furry support.
I can't imagine where I would be without them.
 

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mlynn-what an interesting post! It is definitely food for thought.
I deal with depression alot-I watched my Mom deal with it for years as I was growing up. At first she was on Valium, now I think she is on Zanax, probably among other things. After seeing this, and seeing a co-worker beginning to flip out on Paxil, I am scared to death of relief in a pill & refuse to go that route. The pills & the side effects are far more scary than any depression I have suffered so far & my mind will remain my own, good and bad. I have noticed that I will feel better about myself if I am active & get things accomplished, even if it's little things. When I sit around & dwell on things, it's worse, especially before my period. Depression is definitely a battle I have to wage, but I will not seek my answer with a potentially dangerous mind altering drug with horrible side effects.
 

katiemae1277

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I think mental disorders definitely run in families, depression has made its rounds in mine


I have more of an anxiety problem, about 4 or 5 years ago, I would experience blinding rages at every little thing that would upset my balance, I went to my doctor and he put me on Efexxor- that drug made me go in the completely opposite direction, I started crying at everything instead of getting angry, not that much of an improvement
So I was switched to Zoloft and that worked like a charm! Nothing bothered me anymore- checking acconut bounced? oh well! Car broke down? oh well! dog peed on the carpet? oh well!

I took myself off of it after about 6 months and ever since then it takes a lot to make me angry or upset, I joke that it permanently re-wired my brain. I liked not freaking out over everything! I've been fine since then and although I do get down every once in awhile I usually can pull myself out of it. The kitties really help keep me on an even keel
 
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