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Family drama update

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 
Hi all,

Well, I did go back to Michigan, but only spent monday afternoon with my family. I'm still just so hurt by the gossip they're spreading around my back (see these threads: http://www.thecatsite.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=151790 &
http://www.thecatsite.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=151901).

However I didn't want to be mean and nasty so I got a little tipsy just to show some smile. B went to the mall for the day leaving only me and my family.

I email everyone tonight saying that I'm not leaving the family, but I just need a month or two of basically "ignoring" them to still call them family. I know they care about me, but they also need to realize that I'm 30 and am an adult.

I haven't uninvited anyone to the wedding either (believe me it was truly on the tip of my tongue), however my sister is a bridesmaid and I told her that if she really thinks that B is that horrible then she doesn't have to be one.

Ugh...it sucks having to stand up to your family and verbally beat into them that you're happy.
post #2 of 10
ok dumb question, and you dont have to go into it. but what is there issue with him>
post #3 of 10
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by theimp98 View Post
ok dumb question, and you dont have to go into it. but what is there issue with him>
In short, they all watch WAAAAAYY too much television and when they look at real life and how boring it is to TV, they begin to try and apply real life to TV.
post #4 of 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by lunasmom View Post
In short, they all watch WAAAAAYY too much television and when they look at real life and how boring it is to TV, they begin to try and apply real life to TV.
Huh?
post #5 of 10
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
Huh?
I won't post exactly why here, but often times my life is being compared to the women that get placed on shows like Judge Judy, Judge Mathis, etc...at one time my life was exactly like a Friends episode in which what happened on that episode was given to me as advice (that was pre-B though).
post #6 of 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by lunasmom View Post
I won't post exactly why here, but often times my life is being compared to the women that get placed on shows like Judge Judy, Judge Mathis, etc...at one time my life was exactly like a Friends episode in which what happened on that episode was given to me as advice (that was pre-B though).

Um....does your family need to see a psychiatrist?
post #7 of 10
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragoriana View Post
Um....does your family need to see a psychiatrist?
Seriously, I think they all need counseling...in fact last week when I was talking to them I told them to strongly encourage my sister to get tested for bipolar disorder. Her highs and lows are getting really, really bad
post #8 of 10
I am so sorry. I have gossip being spread behind my back, too. My kids tell me not to let it bug me, but they don't understand that when people say stuff about you that's not true and somebody believes it, it might as well be. I hate having people mad at me unfairly. I'd like to drop a few g-bombs and tell the goods on the ones who are putting me down, but I know they'd only say 'don't listen to her she's a liar'. The real reason they say I 'lie' is because i have a better memory for detail than anyone else and I reacall things others don't want brought back up, but it's still true. I hate the feeling of being dragged through the mud like this. It's so hurtful and frustrating.
post #9 of 10
You said there is a lot more to the story you don't want to post on the internet, which makes me wonder. Did your whole family get along before the holidays? Why did B avoid the situation all together instead of braving it with you leaving you all alone to deal? I guess it must be complicated, that really sucks the holidays were filled with drama and hurt feelings
post #10 of 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by lunasmom View Post
I email everyone tonight saying that I'm not leaving the family, but I just need a month or two of basically "ignoring" them to still call them family. I know they care about me, but they also need to realize that I'm 30 and am an adult.
I'm sorry that you are having a hard time with your family.

However, I want to point out that on one hand you say you are sick of the drama, yet on the other you are perpetuating it by doing the above.

The best thing to do is to not let them get to you and to turn a blind eye and just ignore their antics.

You can't control what other people do or say, but you can control how you react to it all. And your reactions are just perpectuating the family drama, and it will just keep going on forever, or until you cut them completely out of your life.

Best to change the way you react. Smile, be nice, be sincere and loving, and when they aren't around, turn your back and roll your eyes and forget about it.
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