How to tell someone no, when they won't take no for an answer

rang_27

rang_27

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So I'm super tired today. I'm at work & get a text from someone asking me to do something for them tonight. I say no I can't because I've got to work late & then go home and clean my appartment. The first response in "you see I have am sitting around eating bon-bons & getting a tan". Which I can't figure out if it was supposed to be funny or sarcastic, but since I'm at work and this person doesn't work I just don't find it funny. Then the next message asks me if I will do it tomorrow. The problem is I don't want to do it at all, but if I say that she will give me the guilt trip about how I'm the only person she can ask, and on and on. So how do you tell a person like that No. I've been firm before and was accused of being nasty. Maybe I was but that's how I react when someone doesn't listen to NO.
 
lookingglass

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Originally Posted by Rang_27

So I'm super tired today. I'm at work & get a text from someone asking me to do something for them tonight. I say no I can't because I've got to work late & then go home and clean my appartment. The first response in "you see I have am sitting around eating bon-bons & getting a tan". Which I can't figure out if it was supposed to be funny or sarcastic, but since I'm at work and this person doesn't work I just don't find it funny. Then the next message asks me if I will do it tomorrow. The problem is I don't want to do it at all, but if I say that she will give me the guilt trip about how I'm the only person she can ask, and on and on. So how do you tell a person like that No. I've been firm before and was accused of being nasty. Maybe I was but that's how I react when someone doesn't listen to NO.
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You've done all you can. If someone is going to get snarky and mean then that's their issue. Put the ball in the other person's court.
 
KittenKrazy

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Lol, I have to admit, if I worked and this person didn't, I probably WOULD be nasty and ask them why they can't do it for themself.....then again,I do have a naughty streak!
 
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goldenkitty45

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A simple "now what part of NO don't you understand". Tell them IF you change your mind, you will call them - otherwise the answer is no. Then go on to whatever you need to do.
 
natalie_ca

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Just tell them no. Tell them that you have too much on your plate right now and just don't have the time or energy to take on anything else, and then thank them for understanding.
 
carolpetunia

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What Linda (Natalie_ca) said. Don't fall into the trap of having to explain yourself in any detail... just a gentle I can't.
 
spyral

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Tell them to find their own weed from now on..lol..just kidding!


I would seriously just tell her no. If she complained or said I was being nasty I would really unleash on her. I can kind of tell from your post that you would really like to just blow up on this person! Sometimes that is the best option.
 
trouts mom

trouts mom

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Giult trips are the WORST! I don't know how people live with themselves that use guilt to make someone do something.


Just say no..and its a free country! You don't even need a reason if you don't want to give one. Geesh, some people are too dependant on others generosity and they take advantage.
 
theimp98

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just say No thanks i dont want to do it.
if they say ask again the normal response is

what part of no did you not understand the first time. & or tell them to stop begging

if they excuse you of being nasty, you just tell them to take no as a answer the first time.
 
lunasmom

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I usually just tell people that I'm tied up with other things and it will be a while before I can help them out (usually if I tell people a month, they'll leave me alone).

If this person can't understand the concept of "no" then simply tell her that its not your problem its hers.
 
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ricalynn

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A simple "no" is ALL that is required of you. The rest is not your issue to solve, so don't take it on as such.

To paraphrase Eleanor Roosevelt, no one can make you feel guilty without your consent. I for one refuse to waste my breath with anyone who doesn't understand no.
 
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