Worst. Christmas. Ever.

ldg

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Carol, I don't know what happened, and I don't need to know. I do know you are absolutely wonderful for being so forgiving.
You weren't being disloyal at all. Whatever happened - it hurt! I can't imagine such a lonely thing to have to go through. Families can be wonderful and supportive - and they can do the most hurtful horrible things. Sometimes it is important to be true to yourself.
Sometimes it is important to get angry.

What I can't believe? Is that others let it happen.

It took me a long time to learn how to stand up for "me" - and it can be really hard to put your foot down and deal with the confrontation. The first step? Feeling the pain. The second step? Believing you deserve better. The third step? Acting like you deserve better! It sounds so easy, but it can be so hard.
And one thing I know for sure - you deserve SO much better! And you deserved to be with your family on Christmas!




Laurie
 

krispie

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It's never any fun when a holiday comes along and you don;t feel much like celebrating. I have to admit that was me this year. I lost my sister a few weeks ago after a very short fight with cancer and the thought of "happy holidays" was not really in my game plan. Luckily a couple days ago, I had a major meltdown about it and I think it helped a little. The holiday was hard but not as bad as I had feared. Thank goodness for a supportive family.

For those of you struggling this holiday season, especially with family members, my heart goes out to you. I wish you peace and resolution in the new year and acceptance and forgiveness for all and from all.
 

pookie-poo

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My heart goes out to all who have had a depressing holiday. I wish I could give you all hugs and make it better (even though I know how trite that sounds.) You are all in my prayers for happier times to come.
 

KittenKrazy

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Lets see....Christmas....actually, is my favorite holiday, for a myriad of reasons, especially the REAL "reason for the season", if you want to put it that way. That being said? Well.....we spent this Christmas without my Mother's mother, my Dads Father, my husband's brother and great aunt who all passed away from May to late August.......and without three of my furbabies, one whom I've had for 13 years who passed away in September and November........we've been working 7 days a week since Thanksgiving to get in every last Christmas booking that we could, including a Christmas meal that had to be ready to be picked up at 10:30 yesterday morning, only to have my husband get up so sick yesterday morning that he had to go back to bed, leaving me with all of the work for it, plus cleanup.......then spent the rest of the day alone with my laptop so I wouldn't bother him while he rested!....yeah, a truly, truly lousy day ....matter of fact, I don't even have a Christmas tree up, I put it up the day after Thanksgiving, but took it down about a week ago, because hub refused to get "in the spirit" enough to fix the bad wire, and I was tired of looking at a unlit, undecorated tree!

BUT (And I mean a huge BUT here)
I have my health, I have my furbabies, I have a man who loves me, and I him (even if we do consider killing each other sometimes, lol), I have a roof over my head, and as meager as my finances are, I'm not out on the street, homeless and starving. Granted, I'm not eating prime rib and caviar, but neither am I dumpster diving and sleeping on a park bench in freezing cold weather.

I challenge each of you today, who had such a lousy Christmas day to sit back for just a few minutes and think of all the things that you do have to be thankful for, as small as that something might be.....even the poster who had her name on the list for a food hamper......be thankful that the option for that was there for you, my friend!

Now, before you guys decide to flame me for this.....let me explain something, I've just come through about two years of the most horrible, painful depression, nothing made me happy, nothing satisfied, as a matter of fact, I even contemplated suicide very seriously, so trust me, having come back, even temporarily, on the top side of that, trust me, I KNOW there are loads of things to be thankful for.

((((HUGS)))) to each of you with hateful family members....I think every one of us has them, my mom's mom was one of them....and you know what? Even though I hadn't personally interacted with her in over 15 years, I still missed her at Christmas....go figure!!
 

lillekat

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I was at work all day too - 9 - 5:30.... which is great if you're in an office, but if your'e on a bicycle, in the cold and the rain and a headwind cycling about 60km for that day (and mostly uphill, I hasten to add)... it's not so hot. It was a bit hectic and harrassed and at the end of it all I got to spend a nice relaxing evening being forced to sing and dance around a tree with two screaming sugar-filled kids. Not my idea of fun when your butt is red raw and your legs won't move!


Still hun, it's only one day out of a full 365.... and there's another brand new 366 on the way, being a leap year next year.... so there's a pretty good chance that one of those is bound to be much much better
I know it sucks to have a Christmas like this, but I'm looking at it in a positive light. There are people out there who have lost their loved ones - I lit a candle for the mother who lost her 3 year old boy two or three weeks ago when he was crushed by a truck. Our bad Christmasses are really put into perspective, I think.



It'll get better, promise.
 

gemlady

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I missed seeing a cousin because he on the outs with his dad. His mother died 4 years ago and his dad just remarried - to a woman he has always known as grandma. (His dad's foster mother.)

Anyway - I did get to see my aunt's and uncles and ate good (
).
 

tabbytail

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I guess I should be glad my Christmas was better than last year, but as far as families go, whew, if you all knew my siblings you'd probably be glad to have your own families instead. They are just so self righteous and judgemental, backstabbing, condescending, untrustworthy, emotionally abusive, (or intentionally hurtful and manipulative, I haven't figured it out yet) and one is beyond ridiculous. I won't suffer you with the details, but it all sounds like a badly written soap type novel you'd want to stop reading. (my parents were not like this and did not raise them that way, but they're both gone) I did not see any of them this year, but the old dark cloud of gloom caused by the whole situation never goes away and always finds a way to spoil everything. Even when I have no contact, they are still going at me behind my back. I am, sadly, better off without them, though just knowing that is still a hurt that doesn't ever leave me.

HUGS to everyone who has relative problems. Happy New Year and better days to all.
 

natalie_ca

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Originally Posted by KittenKrazy

I challenge each of you today, who had such a lousy Christmas day to sit back for just a few minutes and think of all the things that you do have to be thankful for, as small as that something might be.....even the poster who had her name on the list for a food hamper......be thankful that the option for that was there for you, my friend!
That was me and I already said in my first post that as bad as I think I have it, that there are others in this world who are far worse off than I am.
 

eburgess

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I felt very alone too. DH had to work Christmas Eve and Christmas nights... our first Christmas together and they couldn't give him one of those nights off. Yesterday when he got home at 630 he crawled into bed with me, mumbled something about opening presents then fell asleep. I finally woke him up at 230 and we started our Christmas. Then we had to cut out night short at my in-laws, so he could go to work last night. But after tonight, he gets 6 nights off. I guess it's a trade off but I would rather him be home on Christmas.
 

mzjazz2u

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Originally Posted by CarolPetunia

Oh hon, yes.
It was the first time in my whole life when I couldn't even be with my family during the gift exchanges. Not because I had to work or anything... just because a certain member of the family wouldn't come unless I went away.

But I just couldn't bear to miss it completely... so I went and parked my car far away and walked back and hid in a bedroom while they all had Christmas, and I sat on the floor by the bedroom door, listening.

I just can't believe how families treat each other sometimes. I'm so sorry you had a bad time of it, too.
I wouldn't have let that one person stop me from being with my family. Call me stubborn but...... If one person has a problem with you then it is just that. THEIR problem!

Sorry for those who had a rough holiday.
 

gardenandcats

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If a certain member of my family would not attend Gift openings with the family if I was there.Then that would be their problem.THEY can spend Xmas alone not me. I would of went and let them deal with it not me.
 

mrjonah

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Sorry it sucks for so many. I had some pretty rough Christmas's when I was younger..
We never have drama around Christmas now which is nice but I'm still glad when it's all over - relief!!
 

trouts mom

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Originally Posted by mrjonah

Sorry it sucks for so many. I had some pretty rough Christmas's when I was younger..
We never have drama around Christmas now which is nice but I'm still glad when it's all over - relief!!
I was thinking the exact same thing. I am lucky to have had a good Christmas..but I did have my share of hard times when I was younger.

To those who had a crappy holiday..just think, a brand new year is around the corner..I always see that as a fresh start
 

carolpetunia

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Originally Posted by krispie

...I wish you peace and resolution in the new year and acceptance and forgiveness for all and from all.
That's a very lovely wish for us all. Thank you so much!
 

tabbytail

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Originally Posted by mrjonah

Sorry it sucks for so many. I had some pretty rough Christmas's when I was younger..
We never have drama around Christmas now which is nice but I'm still glad when it's all over - relief!!
It's the opposite for me. I grew up with beautiful, happy, idyllic, TV movie Christmases, lots of presents, everyone happy, classic traditions, memorable get-togethers. It wasn't until I was grown up that people started causing problems, and after my parents passed away my siblings became unbearable. I did have good Christmases past, but IMO, it's much better to have a happy present than a happy past, because the past is gone and all you have is now.
 

mbjerkness

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Originally Posted by CarolPetunia

Oh hon, yes. I came here to the site trying to be upbeat and not say anything about it, but... yes, the very worst Christmas ever. Ever.

It was the first time in my whole life when I couldn't even be with my family during the gift exchanges. Not because I had to work or anything... just because a certain member of the family wouldn't come unless I went away.

But I just couldn't bear to miss it completely... so I went and parked my car far away and walked back and hid in a bedroom while they all had Christmas, and I sat on the floor by the bedroom door, listening.

I just can't believe how families treat each other sometimes. I'm so sorry you had a bad time of it, too.
I am so sorry your family did this to you, who ever this other person is they need to grow up. It is not fair to exclude you to make them feel better.


Originally Posted by kaete

Thanks. This Christmas wasn't made miserable by my family; it was made miserable by my fiancee's. They live four hours away, and they banned me from their Christmas celebration, because they like to pretend that I don't exist. Because I'm a horrible person? No, because I'm gay. And if I'm not there, they can pretend that their daughter isn't.

She went on her own for several reasons, which we discussed... but it doesn't make it any less hurtful or enfuriating or sad. And yeah, I got to see my parents/family, but I wanted to spend it with her.

Add to that the fact that my roommate basically destroyed my room while I was at my parents', and that all I wanted was quiet time and a nice, hot bath tonight, but instead came home to a houseful of loud, drunk people...

yeah.

Okay.

End rant.
I hope that you will be able to spend next Christmas with your fiancee, her family should thankful that she has someone to love her. They need to open their minds and hearts.
 

whisker's mom

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Yesterday I read something in the local paper that made me sad. It was about a man who lives around here. In the past few years his life was turned upside down. He went from being married and having a family to being separated and homeless. His wife left him and took his children and moved far away. He has no job right now etc....

He was quoted as saying: "My life begins again in January". He hates the holiday that at one time gave him so much happiness. I feel so sad for him. I wish there was something that could be done to make people who feel this way feel better during what is supposed to be a happy time for all.

I've had a few sad Christmas's in the past. I've had some pretty upsetting ones too. They can't all be perfect. And I recall thinking how I couldn't wait for it to be over.

Just keep in mind that every year is a new year and if this year's Christmas was the worst.... then next year's may end up being the best.
 

lunasmom

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Originally Posted by Whisker's mom

He was quoted as saying: "My life begins again in January". He hates the holiday that at one time gave him so much happiness. I feel so sad for him. I wish there was something that could be done to make people who feel this way feel better during what is supposed to be a happy time for all.
Well IMO thats simple: Give the crabby people Prozac.
It seems to be the crabby people that outnumber the happy people at this time of year.
 
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