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She _really_ hates me

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
Milly is 8 years old, and I've had her since she was tiny. She was part of a feral colony that was getting preyed on by a snake. She's always had an attitude and not been very nice. Within the past year it's gotten horrible though. I can't even walk near her without her growling at me. She won't let me touch her, and generally just throws a fit when I'm close to her. She's fine with _everyone_ else though. I worry about her being lonely, too, because she doesn't get along with our other cats. The other four play with each other and cuddle and such, but Milly treats them the same way she treats me. I've taken her to the vet several times, and all they can say is "Maybe she needs a psychologist!"

She's happier here than she was at my parents' house, but at least when she was at my parents' she would occasionally let me pet her. I haven't been able to get near her in months without being bitten. She's never been abused, or even had a voice raised at her. Please help. :-(

And if you were wondering, here's a picture that pretty much captures her personality. (That's her precious cat nip between her paws.)

post #2 of 5

I don't have any answers for you but I can (sort of) relate.

I've had my kitty Bea since she was 6 weeks old, she's 4 now and she's never really been a nice cat. She doesn't like other animals at all either.
She will snuggle and/or let you pet her when she feels like it but otherwise she'll growl and swat or nip at you. She never bites down, it's more of a warning but it's clear that she'd rather be left alone.

She's gone as long as a few months at a time without letting anyone give her affection.
Mostly she just wants to eat, sleep and hunt on her own.

I guess some cats are just "like that".
post #3 of 5
Just a thought - was the last time she let you near her the day you moved her from one house to the other? Because then she might think you're coming to move her again.

How is her health? If she has some kind of undetected chronic health thing going on, that could make her grumpy about being touched. Although that wouldn't explain why she's okay with others.

Apparently, in her cat mind, you may have done something to piss her off! When my cat was undergoing chemo, a friend picked him up at the vet one night when I was working late. After that, he would run from her when she was over -- even though logically, he should have liked her because she brought him home.

Maybe it's like that "Friends" episode and she just dreamed you pissed her off but doesn't realize it was a dream!

I don't have any advice for changing her personality Sorry! I think some animals are just grouchy like some people. But someone else may have some really good advice.
post #4 of 5
idk about Apollo but Bea is perfectly healthy. She's upd w/ all her shots and has regular checkups.
she's only been moved once and she was actually more affectionate after the move than she ever has been...
go figure...
post #5 of 5
Cats are not by definition social animals, and many kitties don't like the company of others. Unlike dogs, they are not pre-programmed to love us, to want love from us - or to even make us happy.

You did a wonderful thing by rescuing her. You provide her with a home, with safety and security, with food, water - and medical care if she needs it. Apparently that's all she needs or wants.

With all our feral rescues, there was no better way to get them interested in us than to ignore them.

I'd go ahead and pretend she just came home and is a feral that needs to be socialized. Start by totally and completely ignoring her. Don't seek her out, don't try to draw her out. Just let her be.

Get a couple of t-shirts really good and sweaty. Put one under the food dish she eats out of. When you can be assured she will get the treats and no one else will, put treats down on the other sweaty t-shirt for her. Do this for several months, if necessary. It will help her come to associate you with good things.

When she's in the same room with you, continue to ignore her. But read out loud, or sing. Or if you're on the computer, just read whatever you're doing out loud.

You may also want to consider purchasing Feliway and Flower Essences. Some kitties respond really well to Flower Essences - other's don't, but it's worth a try. Feliway can be purchased as a spray or plug-in. If you can afford it, I'd go for a couple of the room plug-ins. Otherwise spray it liberally ever three days or so (it doesn't hurt wood and doesn't stain fabric coverings). Feliway is a synthetic hormone that mimics the friendly markers in cats' cheeks, and it can really help calm down upset kitties, especially in a multicat household. Both can be purchased here: http://www.catfaeries.com

Some kitties just aren't wired like others. She may just be mean. But since she runs when you reach - stop reaching. At this point, let it be in her lap. If she wants attention, wait until she comes to you. The one kitty that we did this correctly with - we didn't try to love on him at all until he came to us with the headbump - is now the most loving kitty we have. And he was the meanest - he sent two kittens to the hospital needing stitches. He's still nasty to the other cats at times - but they've got plenty of space, so he can keep to himself when that's what he chooses.

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