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Greedy People

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
Today I had to go to another funeral. My Aunt by marriage passed away on Saturday after battling lung cancer for the second time. It was a blessing since her last few days were extremely hard. My Mother and her sister decided to help out by having the luncheon at their Church. I of course told them I would help them with everything but did I have ever have a rude awakening today! There were probably 60 people at the Church and we had plenty of food...but how many times should one person go up there to get more food? I was raised with manners and when you are in a situation like this, you go up there once for the meal and then again for dessert (if you wish). I just assumed that most people would do this too. One gal went up there 3 times, plus she loaded down 2 more plates full to take home! The sad thing is...she wasn't even part of the family! She was a sister of my Aunts son's wife...confused yet? Plus, this gals son-in-law went up there more than 4 times (after that I lost count!)! How rude can these people get? Granted, we had so much food we could have fed the Army...but that was ridiculous! I don't understand why they were there in the first place...I bet they didn't even know my Aunt Evelyn! They probably just wanted a free lunch at our expense!

Sorry for the vent...but I needed to get that off my chest! I really wanted to tell them to quit being such hogs, but I knew better...
Thanks for listening to me rant about this!
post #2 of 13
I could maybe see 2 trips, the second only after everyone else has gone through the line (that was OK in my church for pot lucks, etc. mostly because there was always too many choices to fit on one plate), and then dessert, but 3-4+ and then loading up plates to take home???? You're right Michelle, that's ridiculous, especially at a funeral. I thought it was custom for the immediate family of the deceased to get all the leftovers from any meal served after the funeral so they don't have to worry about food in their grief, and for someone who is barely a part of the family to take food home without even asking is beyond rude!
post #3 of 13
I agree, that is just disrespectful to the whole family. Isn't the point to give the leftovers to the mourning family??? Unless you made an announcement saying to please help yourselves to more food and take some home, then that is excessive in my opinion. Too bad people have to be ignorant on occassions such as that.

Btw, cute new sig!
post #4 of 13
Thread Starter 
I agree with you...two trips since there was a lot of food choices, but more than that is just greediness! Half of the people that were there were not even family members or friends. Heres a better explaination of how they fit in the group:
Evelyn's son Brad married Sandy last year. All of Sandy's sisters and brothers (4 all together) came and brought their kids & their kids' children. So, actually they are not part of the family at all and barely knew her (if at all). That's one part that upset me and then them being so greedy topped it all off for me. We were hoping that we would have some food leftover to give to the immediate family so they wouldn't have to worry about cooking during this time. We barely had enough to send to them...maybe 1 cake, one package of sliced ham, 2 bags of chips and a partial bowl of fruit salad. We felt bad that we couldn't have given them more...especially since we all cooked extra just for that purpose.
It was just frustrating to us since we really worked hard at putting this on for the rest of the family. If those people only knew how ridiculous they looked by doing that....I hope someday they'll realize it.
post #5 of 13
Thread Starter 
Thanks Sunni! Not too many people have noticed it yet...I added it last night. I thought it was cute...it pretty much looks just like my little fur family too!
post #6 of 13
OK, now that is really ridiculous and I would have to agree with you that they only came to the funeral for a free lunch and obviously decided that they were entitled to feed their own greedy families for the week! That really is beyond greedy.
post #7 of 13
When we have potlucks at work the unwritten rule is that you wait until everyone has had a chance to fill their plates once before you go up for seconds (anyone who is more than 20 minutes late is on their own). We have several big guys (who could probably eat a cow by themselves) who have no problem waiting. Then, we make up plates for the residents or fellows who are in clinic or on the hospital floor before the leftovers are put up for grabs.

When my Mom passed, having leftovers in the fridge meant that Dad and my brother and I had one less thing to worry about. Shell, you have every right to be angry at these people. Funerals don't mean a free meal!
post #8 of 13
Thread Starter 
This was the first time I've ever had to help with a funeral luncheon. I guess that's one of "joys" of being an adult now. I really didn't know what to expect since my family hasn't had many deaths and we've been hit twice now in the past 2 weeks with family members passing away. Unfortunately, we got word today that my Great Aunt Emma isn't doing too good either and it's only a matter of time before she passes too. It looks like 2003 isn't starting off to be a very good year for my family.

I've never encountered such ungrateful and greedy people before. It really made me realize how grateful I am for my parents raising me with good morals, good values and great manners. Some people have no clue about any of those 3 things...and they should be one of the first things taught to you when you were little. I guess it all comes down to how you were raised and obviously these people never learned those. I also realized that when I have children of my own someday I want them to know how important these "rules" are. Even these people's kids were coming back several times for cake, cookies and all the goodies...even before most of us even had a chance to get our first bite. Did we even get a simple "Thank you!" from these people...no way. There were a lot of people who I didn't know that thanked me so many times for helping do this. At the end of the day, I guess that's all that matters...I helped when they needed help and they were grateful for what I did do.
Thanks again everyone for listening to me vent a bit...You all are such great people!
post #9 of 13
Isn't it awful how funerals bring out the worst in people?
When my grandmother passed, my aunt and her daughter came with empty suitcases. My grandmother always dressed very well, and these 2 greedy hags tried to get out the door with suitcases full of her clothes! They tried to steal them, when all they would have had to do is ask nicely for them. My grandfather would have given them the clothes, they were the only ones in the family that could have used them. All of her lovely clothes went to the Salvation Army. We were just sickened that someone could sink so low. These are wealthy people that could buy anything they wanted.
post #10 of 13
"But why buy something when you can get it for free?" I can just imagine that what these people live by. Having to ask for something is humbling and something they probably feel very uncomfortable with and probably reasoned that "it's theirs anyways so they should just be able to take it. They're family, why ask?"
I have many manipulative family members and who are alcoholics to boot! I am familiar with this mentality and can easily guess what they were thinking. Thank-goodness my brothers and I had a good father who didn't drink and instilled good morals into us, I admit, one brother didn't get it ingrained enough but some is better than none.

Why were these non-family members invited in the first place? It seems a LOT of extended family joined for this ceremony. I haven't been to many funerals in my life (3) but my understanding of them is the people who knew this person attended and greived for him/her. I felt so bad through the funerals I went to that I could barely eat a sandwich and a tea. and I only did so because the family kept saying "oh hi, have you gotten anything to eat yet? Would you like me to get you something? eat, eat." so I would. If anything like that happened in my family somebody would have the balls to discreetly tell them enough is enough. Leave some for everybody. But that's my family. They would end up turning it into a wake no matter what the immediate family desired.

I also wish they knew how ridiculous they looked. Maybe it would thwart them from doing it again. Funerals do bring out the worst in people krazy kat2, I agree.
post #11 of 13
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. My condolences to you and your family. And I'm also sorry to hear what happenned at the luncheon.
post #12 of 13
There are people, who check the obituaries, daily and go to funerals of people they never knew just to get a free meal and a doggie bag.

My family is Southern and Pentecostal. When someone dies, its not long before women start showing up at the house, with hams, casseroles and desserts. When my grandparents died, Mom sent stuff home with me, because they had so much. Bless those "church ladies". I don't agree with their religion but they sure can COOK!
post #13 of 13
I am so sorry for your loss! And I agree...going back twice was enough...but loading up plates to take home was downright rude!!!! Talk about tacky!!!!!!!
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