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Y'know how sometimes Fate sets you up just to knock you right back down?

post #1 of 22
Thread Starter 
Every day for the past three days, someone I've talked with has made a point of telling me how pretty I am -- which isn't true, but it certainly does make a girl feel good to hear it. By the third comment, I was actually beginning to glow a little bit.

So I was in a good mood when I headed out to finally mail my Secret Santa package. I always glance behind when I go through a door to see if there's anyone I should hold it open for -- and this morning when I entered the post office, there was.

He was tall and slim and handsome in a hawkish, angular way. Grey eyes, easy smile, dark hair lightly shot with silver. Arms loaded with seven big brown packages in very precarious balance.

I held the door, then hurried ahead to hold the next door too, and he thanked me kindly. As we took our places in the line, I nodded at his many packages and said, "You must be a good person to be related to," and he laughed. Waiting in line, we had plenty of time to talk, and the conversation was very comfortable. I immediately liked him.

And then a thought flickered in the back of my mind. Could it be that the three days of compliments had been Fate's way of preparing me, of helping me become more at ease with the idea that I might be attractive to someone after all?

Could it be... this very charming fellow... maybe, possibly...

I was warming to the idea, just beginning to believe that something meaningful might be happening here, when this delightful gentleman mentioned, "I went overboard on presents because I'm not going to get back home for a visit until after I'm ordained in June."

"Ordained?" I inquired with lifted brow.

He nodded. "I'm in training to be a priest."



And so ended my brief, but ever so lovely little fantasy.



Ah, but it gets worse: Later, when I told the story to my family, both my father and my brother immediately said, "Oh, he was probably just saying that to get rid of you."

post #2 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolPetunia View Post
Every day for the past three days, someone I've talked with has made a point of telling me how pretty I am -- which isn't true, but it certainly does make a girl feel good to hear it.
and why not ? often it is just as important to know how to take a complient.

to them maybe you are
post #3 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolPetunia View Post
Later, when I told the story to my family, both my father and my brother immediately said, "Oh, he was probably just saying that to get rid of you."

I am sorry, but if lifelong your father and brother have been cynical or usually make such comments that are hurtful like that (imo), I'd not give the comment much weight

Consider instead that this was not the end of the 3 days of being complimented on your looks, but practice in again being comfortable conversing with a handsome single man... one could say a priest in training was just another sign (a good one) from God (or fate or gaia...and no, I'm not saying that tongue in cheek, just substitute what would be pertinent for you ) that something is in the works!

Just my 3 cents
post #4 of 22
Aww. Well at least you are looking in the right direction! He would have had to be a good guy to have been being ordained! So at least you know you have good taste!

And as for the pretty issue.... PROVE IT!
I think people who normally think they aren't pretty, are the prettiest people of all....
post #5 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by glitch View Post
I think people who normally think they aren't pretty, are the prettiest people of all....
I agree
post #6 of 22
Greek Orthodox Priests can and do marry.

post #7 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pami View Post
Greek Orthodox Priests can and do marry.

way to think positive!!!!

I like Pat's way of thinking, this is just one more step to prepare you for something to come
post #8 of 22
The fact that he is going to be a priest in no way negates the compliments you received before that. It also does not mean he didn't enjoy his conversation with you.

Your father and your brother were being mean. Don't allow that to ruin your self esteem.

Bruce is right, it's important to learn how to take a compliment.
post #9 of 22
As a very active Catholic at the student center at my church, I can tell you that a lot of cute guys are going into the priesthood.

Who wants a person who knows they're beautiful anyways? That just means they're vain. As long as you're a person who's comfortable with who you are, you'll find a wonderful someone someday - maybe not too far away!
post #10 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sandtigress View Post
As a very active Catholic at the student center at my church, I can tell you that a lot of cute guys are going into the priesthood.

Who wants a person who knows they're beautiful anyways? That just means they're vain. As long as you're a person who's comfortable with who you are, you'll find a wonderful someone someday - maybe not too far away!
Growing up Catholic, we've had many Father-What-A-Waste.

If you see him again you should ask what denomination he was ordained in. He very well could be a prospect as long as he isn't Catholic.
post #11 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by lookingglass View Post
Growing up Catholic, we've had many Father-What-A-Waste.

If you see him again you should ask what denomination he was ordained in. He very well could be a prospect as long as he isn't Catholic.
That's true. I believe Episcopal priests can marry.

Anyway, chin up, ducky. Finding a good guy is hard to do, but it can be done. Spoken by someone who is 48, has never been married and is a really tough sell when it comes to guys. And I have been dating my BF now for almost 4 years! The relationship has been a lot of hard work,but I recognized that he was a really good guy -- just needed some polish!
post #12 of 22
Women Eh!! stop being insecure about yourselves. I have the same prob with my Wife.When I have told her I love her she asks why, I tell her because she is pretty, blah! blah! blah! blah! Then she says im not pretty. But she is, and why? Because when she does not wear makeup I think she is just as beautiful. Lets face up to the facts, not many of us class ourselves as oil painting material. It seems to me you got a good chance of finding
Mr right, as you are polite and seems you like to have a good laugh and a joke as well Thats what relationships are all about.Its the girls who are drop dead geogeous but look down on the ordinary person that I cannot stand.
Way to go girl!! I got a feeling your life will change for the better in 2008
post #13 of 22
Even if YOU don't think you're pretty, CarolPetunia, I'll bet that they're are a lot of peeps who think you ARE. Your dad & brother's comments are just mean, IMO..

Besides, haven't you ever heard that it's not what's on the outside that counts - but what's on the inside? It seems to me that there's plenty of beauty inside of you, and I'm sure there are others who will agree with me on that. And THAT'S what counts!

~KK~
post #14 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by KittKatt View Post
It seems to me that there's plenty of beauty inside of you, and I'm sure there are others who will agree with me on that. And THAT'S what counts!
Oh thats for sure!!
post #15 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by KittKatt View Post
Even if YOU don't think you're pretty, CarolPetunia, I'll bet that they're are a lot of peeps who think you ARE. Your dad & brother's comments are just mean, IMO..

Besides, haven't you ever heard that it's not what's on the outside that counts - but what's on the inside? It seems to me that there's plenty of beauty inside of you, and I'm sure there are others who will agree with me on that. And THAT'S what counts!

~KK~
It's that inner beauty shining out that makes a person attractive, regardless whether she is physically pretty or not. Some of the most "beautiful" people really aren't very attractive at all, because they lack that inner beauty. Yours shows in your posts, Carol, show I'm sure it shows in your face. The guys were just being brats -- that's what guys do, especially brothers.
post #16 of 22
Thread Starter 
You all are just the best. Thank you for being so encouraging... it really does help.

My father and brother are just oblivious to the power of their words. They never really mean any harm, but... I think I've gotten into the habit of putting myself down (usually in humorous ways) just in order to beat THEM to it!

Pami, I love your attitude: Priest, eh? Don't give up! Maybe he's Greek Orthodox! Bless your heart, that was the best laugh I've had in a week!

Actually, he said he was "Old Catholic," not Roman Catholic... a distinction I know nothing about. But it doesn't matter -- I can't imagine someone so deeply religious ever accepting me and my eccentric ideas, anyway!

I know you're right about inner beauty being the important thing... but outward appearance can push people so far away from you that they never find out what's inside. Maybe that's why so many of my best relationships are on the internet!

By now, you must think I'm a monster. But I'm just overweight... otherwise, I'm really not so bad. And next month, if all goes well, I'm going to have lap-band surgery! I would never have decided to do it just because of my appearance, but as my doctor told me, "This surgery, if you follow through on the change in habits that it's going to help you make, can fix everything that's wrong with you except your glaucoma. Everything else will either be eliminated or drastically reduced when you get down into a normal weight range."

So I hope within the next year to become healthier, stronger, more energetic, able to work and support myself and take better care of my parents. I've wasted twenty years of my life on an employer that abused me and a set of health problems that disabled me. No more! I want a life before I die, y'know?

Anyway... thanks, I needed to share that crushing blow with someone, and nobody understands quite like you guys.
post #17 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by rapunzel47 View Post
It's that inner beauty shining out that makes a person attractive, regardless whether she is physically pretty or not. Some of the most "beautiful" people really aren't very attractive at all, because they lack that inner beauty. Yours shows in your posts, Carol, show I'm sure it shows in your face. The guys were just being brats -- that's what guys do, especially brothers.
You are beautiful, Carol.
post #18 of 22
Everyone has their own idea of what is beautiful. The people that said you were beautiful believed it, and after hearing that, you believed it too. It gave you confidence in yourself. Don't lose that. CONFIDENCE is what is beautiful to a lot of people...how you carry yourself, how you interact with people. I know people that are "gorgeous" from "society's" point of view, that fade into the woodwork because they are unsure of themselves, and I know people that would be considered "plain" or "overweight" that absolutely shine because they have the confidence in themselves. You had that when you were talking to him, and it showed. Don't let it go. (am I making any sense?)

And besides, he isn't ordained yet, so you still have a chance!
post #19 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by calico2222 View Post
Everyone has their own idea of what is beautiful. The people that said you were beautiful believed it, and after hearing that, you believed it too. It gave you confidence in yourself. Don't lose that. CONFIDENCE is what is beautiful to a lot of people...how you carry yourself, how you interact with people. I know people that are "gorgeous" from "society's" point of view, that fade into the woodwork because they are unsure of themselves, and I know people that would be considered "plain" or "overweight" that absolutely shine because they have the confidence in themselves. You had that when you were talking to him, and it showed. Don't let it go. (am I making any sense?)

And besides, he isn't ordained yet, so you still have a chance!
Hope has an excellent point, confidence is very attractive! Stand proud Carol, you have a lot to be proud of
post #20 of 22
oh that sucks. But just because he's getting ordained doesn't mean that he's not human and can't love? Priest or not, they all think those "thoughts" too.... that's what makes us what we are. I'm sure he really did find you attractive - even more so for the fact that you were already feeling up, confident and happy I bet you could strike it up between you if you really tried - and wouldn't that be something to tell people? He turned down the priesthood for me!!! Seriously girl, you are beautiful, and that will shine through in your confidence and humour. You've got a lot to be proud of! You go girl!

Screw your brother and your father - they don't know what they're talking about. :tongue: If that's their idea of fun, it's not funny.
post #21 of 22
Carol, I don't know what you look like, but I know you're beautiful!

I know it's already been said, but I'll just re-emphasize it. Beauty has nothing to do with what's on the outside, and you have one of the most gorgeous hearts there is.

Carol, you pointed out how much words can hurt - and of course, the opposite is true too! The way you think about yourself is one of the most important aspects to how you feel and what you project. Just look at what happened when someone else reinforced your sense of beauty? You turned around, projected that - and so what it was a (an almost) priest? It's an affirmation of how beautiful and wonderful you are.

I don't care how stupid you feel, stand in front of that mirror every morning and every evening, look into your own eyes, and tell yourself you are beautiful - and MEAN it! Start working on "reprogramming" your mind-set. And as soon as you're truly happy with yourself and happy in your life - and you don't care about finding someone to share it with - that person's going to fall right into your heart and your life.



Laurie
post #22 of 22
LOTS of priests can marry - depends on their religion entirely!!

And "going to be ordained" and BEING ordained are two entirely different things.

AND ... LOTS of priests GET ordained and then realize ... it's really not for them.

Not everyone that *gets* ordained *stays* ordained.

For all YOU know that fellow had to go pray about you. hehe!

You should have asked him where he went to church so you could think about tracking him down!!
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