I'm in a pickle...

Again, apology to my cat peeps for this rant. I hope this is the last one and I can go back to being my happy self.

So the whole drama from my family from yesterday continued tonight. It was suppose to be more of a healing process, but I think I turned it into a drama fest.

My mom called to see how I was doing. Not because of the conversation I had with my dad last night, but because apparently my sister sent me an email - which I have not read. Mom told me not to read it because most of it was a slap in my face...she said that she does compliment me in places, but if I wanted to maintain some happiness this Christmas not to read it.

So I deleted the email. However I voiced my opinion to her and said that I though it was ridiculous that everyone read my Christmas visit update and began to spread stories between each other based on their own assumptions rather than asking me for clarification.

I came home and am just numb. I'm to the point I'm still deciding if I think its worth driving 11 hours to see them this weekend.

Im sorry. . . I know how it feels to be put off by family. My aunt and uncle have written off my family, for some unknown reason. They said alot of really hurtful things to us, and did not even ask how I was or how anyone was for that matter when I found out I was sick. . .

I hope you decided and I hope you have a very good christmas either way. . .

I would still go. You have to cherish every moment you have with family. Maybe after the holidays you all can talk about it again.

I can understand how you feel. This will be my third Christmas not being spent with my fathers family. Too much bad feelings and competitiveness and things i don't want to have to open up to them about. You do what is both mentally and emotionally best for you, family is important but not as important as #1

Tell them if they dont play nice you and B are just going to stay there and not waste time coming home to drama.

Oh jenney... I´m so sorry if you´re in a that problem....
Don´t give up! ...follow at your heart!

Aaaaaw I'm sorry hun. I've got nothing to say other than I hope it gets better and you have a nice Christmas despite it all.

Thanks everyone

Yea I've basically told them that already Bruce...mmm...the way I look at it, if they can't hold their mouths shut, then neither can I.

B and I are now in some sort of fight. I told him a lot last night that I probably should have, but I've kept bottled up for a few years. At this point I don't even know if he's coming with me (there is more to the story by the way, but I don't want to add anymore online).

I did pick up the rental tonight and basically I figure if I still decide not to go, I'll just return it Saturday. All I know is that I don't want to talk to anyone in my family between now and Saturday.

Here is a plan, if they are all being butts, take a trip to NYC spend christmas in the big apple! Buy yourself something nice!