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Oh god.....my step mom.......

post #1 of 28
Thread Starter 
Well, she's 40 and just had a third child It's not that she needed one either. She meet a guy 6 months later she was pregnant and getting married to him (my dad died, so she was a widow for a few years). She's a terrible mom. The kids 18 and 16 are terrible in school, having sex, and drinking. She has been leaving the kids at home for entire weekends since they were 10 or so. If she feels like having a weekend to herself she just takes off. One time she came home at 2am and found two boys at the house with my sister when she was 16. AND she thought it was no big deal and completely innocent. You know, one of those stupid parents who think "my kid would never do that!" and then give them plenty of chances to do just that

Everyone is so "excited" for her, but I'm not what-so-ever. I was acutally hoping she would miss carry because she is such an awful mom. And no, this new husband isn't any better. He thought the weekend get aways were great too. They have gone on many of those and my sister has called me a few times saying they have no money and no food in the house
post #2 of 28
One of those people who shouldn't keep bringing kids into the world. I understand why you wouldn't be happy. I know someone who is pregnant right now, and I had asked "Can you afford 2 kids?" since she is always talking about being in debt with $700/month in car payments, husband not good with managing money, and usually only a few dollars left in her bank account around payday. Her answer? "Who CAN afford two kids?" (Uhm, plenty..?) I'm not thinking this'll be good either. She had also said she only wanted one kid, and now she's having #2.
post #3 of 28
Thread Starter 
I just don't get it........ Life is entirely not fair. The people who would be great with kids are the ones who can't have children and the people who should NOT have kids have no problem getting pregnant
post #4 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by EnzoLeya View Post
I just don't get it........ Life is entirely not fair. The people who would be great with kids are the ones who can't have children and the people who should NOT have kids have no problem getting pregnant
agree 100% here! when me & my boyfriend got together, a couple of months after should i say his ex suddenly contacts me, have no idea where she got my details from, claiming that she's pregnant by my boyfriend..

we've recently had dna testing done as she was expecting him to pay towards him when she found out we moved into our own place, test comes back negative a few months later, so he found out that she was cheating! i then heard from her not long ago saying "haha, he fires blanks", as i contacted her asking why she was going around saying how she hated the fact that i "apparently said i wished i had dans first baby, even though being disabled can't have them". totally untrue that statement however LOL!

she's been with her new partner 6 weeks pregnant again, so yeh & there's me had misscarriage end of June this year & have been trying nearly 3 years

sorry to go on.. just thought i'd share an experience i've had!
post #5 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by xLaydeexTaniax View Post
agree 100% here! when me & my boyfriend got together, a couple of months after should i say his ex suddenly contacts me, have no idea where she got my details from, claiming that she's pregnant by my boyfriend..

we've recently had dna testing done as she was expecting him to pay towards him when she found out we moved into our own place, test comes back negative a few months later, so he found out that she was cheating! i then heard from her not long ago saying "haha, he fires blanks", as i contacted her asking why she was going around saying how she hated the fact that i "apparently said i wished i had dans first baby, even though being disabled can't have them". totally untrue that statement however LOL!

she's been with her new partner 6 weeks pregnant again, so yeh & there's me had misscarriage end of June this year & have been trying nearly 3 years

sorry to go on.. just thought i'd share an experience i've had!

Oh my goodness! What a crazy lady! That's really sad that you haven't been able to have one yourself yet. some day you will!
post #6 of 28
yeh, that's only half of it! & thanks for your kind words.. i only said it because people like her don't deserve kids, & it's horrible that they just have kids for the sake of it
post #7 of 28
I wish parenting classes were mandatory. It is really amazing how stupid or thoiughtless parents can be. I work in a school and see it daily.
post #8 of 28
I agree with all of your statements. I am a young mom (I am 20 and my son is almost 3... do the math =) so I know several young moms that make stupid decisions. One would sleep at her new BFs houses with her 3 kids all the time. She didn't learn that lesson until her oldest, a daughter, was molested. Another had a second baby on purpose (told hubby she was on BC!) to try and force him to join the military (He had joked he'd have to join the military if they had another "oops"). But I think to myself, they are young and stupid and thats why people look down on us young parents. A 40yo though??? Thats sad that some people don't mature with age.

(And to girl trying to get preggo, my sincerest sympathies to you and your troubles. I'll try to think some good baby vibes for you!)
post #9 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4blueyes View Post
(And to girl trying to get preggo, my sincerest sympathies to you and your troubles. I'll try to think some good baby vibes for you!)
thanks very much!
post #10 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4blueyes View Post
I agree with all of your statements. I am a young mom (I am 20 and my son is almost 3... do the math =) so I know several young moms that make stupid decisions. One would sleep at her new BFs houses with her 3 kids all the time. She didn't learn that lesson until her oldest, a daughter, was molested. Another had a second baby on purpose (told hubby she was on BC!) to try and force him to join the military (He had joked he'd have to join the military if they had another "oops"). But I think to myself, they are young and stupid and thats why people look down on us young parents. A 40yo though??? Thats sad that some people don't mature with age.

That is terribly sad My mom was a young mom too, she had me at 17. She was a great mom though and I can definitely say that her at 17 was better than my step mom will be at 40
post #11 of 28
Hmmmm..... spay and neuter programs... for people????? I know, I know....
post #12 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by AddieBee View Post
Hmmmm..... spay and neuter programs... for people????? I know, I know....
Lets do it!
post #13 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by AddieBee View Post
Hmmmm..... spay and neuter programs... for people????? I know, I know....
Actually I've been saying for some time now that we should have a process for a few things... not like these will ever happen... but here goes: every person 'of age' gets an I.Q. test, if above a certain level (like right about average, maybe a couple points above), then they get to go through a parenting class, and take a test to get a license. If you don't have a license, you can't have kids. You get Speutered.

Same goes for having pets and stricter rules for driving (living in Oregon, I see a lot more stupid drivers, holy crud.)

It would solve a lot of problems here. Pet overpopulation, too many kids in gov't beaurocracy, etc...

Of course, I also believe it should be mandatory in the US to serve one year minimum in a retail job before going to college or whatever... but that's for another thread!!

I've met many folks who really shouldn't breed, but there's nothing to stop them...
post #14 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by EnzoLeya View Post
I just don't get it........ Life is entirely not fair. The people who would be great with kids are the ones who can't have children and the people who should NOT have kids have no problem getting pregnant
I have 2 stories for that....

My sister is 33 and got married last September. She has epilepsy so it is making it hard for her to get pregnant and they have been trying since before they even got married. She is very stressed and starting to do more research on fertility treatments. She has said that exact same thing. I know of 2 girls that used to be close to me who shouldn't even BE parents and got pregnant in no time. It's just not fair.

My cousin and his wife have been married 13 years and have been trying that long. Through fertility treatments, they FINALLY got pregnant in April-after 13years of trying. It can happen to good people. She is due any day now and I have no doubt that they will make the greatest parents!
post #15 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by xLaydeexTaniax View Post
agree 100% here! when me & my boyfriend got together, a couple of months after should i say his ex suddenly contacts me, have no idea where she got my details from, claiming that she's pregnant by my boyfriend..
My fiance's ex did that soon after we started dating. She wanted it to be his, but it was the guy she used to cheat on him with's baby. Plus, she got preggo AFTER we had already been together, and anyone who knows him knows he wouldn't cheat like that. When we started pushing DNA testing, she admitted it wasn't his, just knew he'd make a better dad (even though he's like me and doesn't like kids..?), and Rob had even gone to see the baby after she had it, to be 100% sure it had no similarities to him. He said it definitely looked like the other guy.

We both agree with having to get a license to have kids. Wayyyy too many people are popping them out, without thinking of the consequences. I'd be first in line on the Speuter plan though, I don't want any! Guess I'd have to purposely fail the test!



post #16 of 28
Sometimes I wish you could just spay and neuter people - without their permission! Things like this make me so sick and sad. Trying to talk sense into someone with this kind of attitude is like talking to a brick wall.

We have a few of those relatives!
post #17 of 28
She's been leaving the kids at home alone for weekends since they were about 10? Well there's a reason to call social services all by itself!! I agree.... spay and neuter people. We need one of those programs where only select couples are given permission to become parents. It would help the population explosion too.
post #18 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tara & Rob View Post


My fiance's ex did that soon after we started dating. She wanted it to be his, but it was the guy she used to cheat on him with's baby. Plus, she got preggo AFTER we had already been together, and anyone who knows him knows he wouldn't cheat like that. When we started pushing DNA testing, she admitted it wasn't his, just knew he'd make a better dad (even though he's like me and doesn't like kids..?), and Rob had even gone to see the baby after she had it, to be 100% sure it had no similarities to him. He said it definitely looked like the other guy.

We both agree with having to get a license to have kids. Wayyyy too many people are popping them out, without thinking of the consequences. I'd be first in line on the Speuter plan though, I don't want any! Guess I'd have to purposely fail the test!



aaah no way! guess i could say you know how i feel then LOL!
post #19 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LilleKat View Post
She's been leaving the kids at home alone for weekends since they were about 10? Well there's a reason to call social services all by itself!! I agree.... spay and neuter people. We need one of those programs where only select couples are given permission to become parents. It would help the population explosion too.
Yeah, that's not even the worst of what she has done. Actually I'm pretty sure social service was called on them once or twice. Of course back then there wasn't very good social service help/people.
post #20 of 28
Yeah this sucks...my good friend would be an amazing mom, and she has been trying for years
post #21 of 28
Stop and think a minute about this "solution" some of you are proposing. Forced sterilization by the government? If that's the kind of country you want to live in, move to China!

I'm all for mandatory, ongoing education for parents, and I would even support regular home visits from child welfare officers (at increasingly longer intervals as the child gets older). And I'm sure there are a very few people whose personal capabilities are so severely limited that they should be strongly counseled against parenthood... in rare cases, even encouraged to consider sterilization.

But to force sterilization on them is a profound violation of human decency, and no government has the moral right to inflict that upon its citizens.

I can hear some of you saying, "Human decency? Is it decent for irresponsible people to have children, only to neglect or abuse them?" Of course not! But there are countless ways of dealing with that problem that don't involve riding roughshod over the most fundamental of all human rights: the sanctity of our own bodies.

I think nearly all of us here know that declawing a cat is a cruel and inhumane act. So how can you justify performing an even greater mutilation on your fellow man?

You can't. You simply can't.
post #22 of 28
A lot of people feel you need to be young, to be immature and make mistakes, All three of my children are adopted, the birth mothers were 31, 36 and 39, the birth fathers were 29, 46, and 42, . For adoption we had to take parent classes, Dh and I have taken 6 different parenting classes. dealing with different issues, that our adopted children face, yet fertile people can have as many babies as they like with no education at all. We also had to have criminal record checks with each adoption, 4 references for each adoption, and pass complete medicals. before and after adoption homestudies.
post #23 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by RubSluts'Mommy View Post
...I've met many folks who really shouldn't breed, but there's nothing to stop them...
Nor should there be. As CarolPetunia pointed out, who do you want to give that kind of power to?
post #24 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolPetunia View Post
Stop and think a minute about this "solution" some of you are proposing. Forced sterilization by the government? If that's the kind of country you want to live in, move to China!

I'm all for mandatory, ongoing education for parents, and I would even support regular home visits from child welfare officers (at increasingly longer intervals as the child gets older). And I'm sure there are a very few people whose personal capabilities are so severely limited that they should be strongly counseled against parenthood... in rare cases, even encouraged to consider sterilization.

But to force sterilization on them is a profound violation of human decency, and no government has the moral right to inflict that upon its citizens.

I can hear some of you saying, "Human decency? Is it decent for irresponsible people to have children, only to neglect or abuse them?" Of course not! But there are countless ways of dealing with that problem that don't involve riding roughshod over the most fundamental of all human rights: the sanctity of our own bodies.

I think nearly all of us here know that declawing a cat is a cruel and inhumane act. So how can you justify performing an even greater mutilation on your fellow man?

You can't. You simply can't.

I think you've said what many people were thinking.
post #25 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by jcat View Post

I think you've said what many people were thinking.
Me, for one. Thanks for that, Carol.
post #26 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolPetunia View Post
Stop and think a minute about this "solution" some of you are proposing. Forced sterilization by the government? If that's the kind of country you want to live in, move to China!

I'm all for mandatory, ongoing education for parents, and I would even support regular home visits from child welfare officers (at increasingly longer intervals as the child gets older). And I'm sure there are a very few people whose personal capabilities are so severely limited that they should be strongly counseled against parenthood... in rare cases, even encouraged to consider sterilization.

But to force sterilization on them is a profound violation of human decency, and no government has the moral right to inflict that upon its citizens.

I can hear some of you saying, "Human decency? Is it decent for irresponsible people to have children, only to neglect or abuse them?" Of course not! But there are countless ways of dealing with that problem that don't involve riding roughshod over the most fundamental of all human rights: the sanctity of our own bodies.

I think nearly all of us here know that declawing a cat is a cruel and inhumane act. So how can you justify performing an even greater mutilation on your fellow man?

You can't. You simply can't.
I agree.....i'm sorry, but people wanting our gov't to regulate who can have children/etc and who should be steralized and other aspects like that just seem quite similar to Hitler's "perfect" race of Arians and the horrid things he and others did to "weed out the bad and only allow the "good" I would NEVER want our country to pull that crap. It amazes me how quick people are to forget what thinking like that can do- look at China and the mess that they are in with their populaiton due to their rules and regulations on families/children. Look at the Holocaust surviviors and the stories they have to tell because someone thought they weren't worthy of life and that they should be "regulated." Do you guys REALLY want that??

I don't want some politician telling me i can not have children or but so and so can. No- that is infringing on our basic rights and i would never stand for that. I agree with Carol on this one. I would never support having our rights stripped from us and giving our gov't more power to control us and if we can reproduce/ etc. Yes, i agree- some people are not good parents and do not need the children that they have- but there are other ways to handle the problems at hand than saying certain people should be steralized/regulated by the gov't.
post #27 of 28
I think what it is - is not the fact that you WOULD resort to it, but that you would LIKE to do it at times. So many irresponsible people out there that don't need to be raising kids. And you have to remember these poor kids are our "future" - and that's the really scary part.
post #28 of 28
IT is something that will never happen due to human rights, but I still feel it should happen, I have seen soo many people have kids just so they can stay at home and receive benefits, and the way they speak to those children is awful, and as GK points out, they are our future, and it scares me. And I would love if we could find other ways of dealing with it so children dont get neglected and abused
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