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why can't people be happy at Christmas?

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 
Sorry to vent peeps.

B and I had an issue where we wanted to go back to Michigan for Christmas. His family is on one side of the state, mine is on another. At first we were going to be spending 2 days with my family and 1 day with his. He wasn't thrilled with this since it had been August since he last saw his family before moving here.

So we both decided to leave early on Christmas Eve, and spend the rest of the time with his family.

Suddenly my family (not all, but the vocal ones) are up in arms about it and turning everything into dramatics. Now it's the to the point that my brother, who normally has Christmas Eve doesn't want to throw it this year because he feels that we're asking him to accommodate us.

When I told everyone this I was simply saying that we were going to leave early on the eve, to spend time with his family as well. I emphasize " be fair.." when I told them all. My intent wasn't "we'll only be there for an hour"...we've always been invited over earlier, so I was merely voicing that we were going to take advantage of that.

IMO it's just stupid petty crap: take advantage of the time you do have with us and get over the fact that I'm now "shared".

Moral of the story is: if you have family coming in from out of town, be thankful that they decided to make the trip and don't be petty about it. No matter what you celebrate this month, the holidays are not about being a hog. They're about spending time with who you know, who you love, and who you care about, even if they can't spend the entire day with you.
post #2 of 10
That stinks, i'm sorry your family is being a bit difficult about everything. I don't understand why everyone has to get all up and arms and picky eithor- my family is being a little difficult *cough cough my aunt* this year as well because i am hosting our annual Christmas party....and it is on Christmas day this year instead of Christmas ever. I have to work all morning Christmas eve and then go back that evening and Colin works Christmas ever and Christmas day....the only time he'll be home for Christmas is Christmas day night and i have off Christmas day -so since my family had asked if i could host- i did it on Christmas rather than the day before and double checked with everyone before i set the time/menu...leave it to my aunt to complain about having to work the next day (i do too and so does just about everyone else....that's why i didn't set the time too late) No matter what you do- you won't be able to please everyone. Just do your best to be polite and make yourself happy sweetheart- and no matter what anyone else says - you have a WONDERFUL Christmas and do things the way you would like!
post #3 of 10
Christmas and almost any major holiday can be very stressful. And when you have a split family, everyone tries to make the other happy and in the end, no one seems to be happy.

Sometimes it works out that you spend one major holiday with one side and the other one with the other family.

This year we got to spend Thanksgiving with my mom and sister (haven't done that for a good 10 yrs) and Christmas will be here. When family is in different states it can be a little easier as its not expected to be with both families during one holiday.
post #4 of 10
i really dont know, my sister told me should be about out on monday( i have not seen her in person in years_) i told her i was working 12 hours on monday, but i was going to be home all day sunday, saturday, friday, and thursday and all day xmas day...

So now she wont stop over. lol my guess is , i am better off.
post #5 of 10
You have good advice! Stand your ground and they'll respect that and just have to get used to it. It might take awhile. Merry Christmas!
post #6 of 10
Yep you can't please them all. It's a shame some families are like that. My MIL gets very jealous of the time we spend with my mom(who we live with) & my FIL. Little does she know, she gets the most attention.

post #7 of 10
That is why we stay home at Christmas , then we don't have to choose and make somebody upset.
post #8 of 10
Thread Starter 
Thanks everyone

Ughhh...I just woke up and started thinking about. This morning I was really looking forward to coming home, now there's a part of me that like "OK, if I'm going to be that big of an inconvenience, then I'm not coming".

Though I'll take all your advices and just keep on going according to plan.
post #9 of 10
On a totally different note, remind them that you all won't always be able to get husband's family ALWAYS got together for Christmas, one way or another, even if it meant doing "Christmas" on the Sunday after to accommodate everyone after all the kids and grandkids married and had kids and other inlaws of their own........ this year marks the third Christmas since his mom died, and the first since his brother died.....he and his sister don't get along with the brothers wife and kids too well, so don't even know how Chrismas will turn out here.
post #10 of 10
That is one of the major reasons we don't do Christmas any more. My sister and his mother always have to big drama queens and are not happy until they spoil things for everyone, then it is "why does everyone pick on me, boo hoo?" His mother actually got drunk and took a swing at me one Christmas for offering to help cook since she was in no condition to. Then she took off all her clothes and passed out on the LR floor.
Then we went to my family's and it got worse. I won't even go in to how my sister acted with her skanky GF. Merry Christmas, huh?
My granddaughter and daughter have gone to visit the great grandma on the other side of her family, as she is very old and it may be her last one. Even though she is divorced, her ex-inlaws are still close to her, and are very good to her and the baby. I am happy she has them since I live so far away.
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