Feeling Guilty for Bringing 2nd cat home

This might sound crazy, but lately I've been feeling guilty for bringing Chloe home. I didn't have Mattie for very long before I brought Chloe home (5 weeks), but Mattie was such a different cat before Chloe entered the picture. I was looking at pictures of her from before Chloe came home and she is so much more relaxed and happy in them.

I did a slow-ish introduction by seperating them, and things are of course much better than they used to be. They will play together (which is good because it gets Mattie to exercise), but mostly Mattie just avoids her and stays under the bed now. She used to hardly ever go under the bed. I feed them together if I can watch them to make sure they don't steal each other's food, I give both lots of love, and I try to give Mattie her space. I have a Feliway diffuser. I haven't tried Rescue Remedy yet but I plan to. They are co-existing just fine, I'm not worried at all when I leave them alone together. Chloe has been here for over a month now. (By the way, Chloe is 4 months old and Mattie is about 1-1.5 years old).

It's just that Matilda isn't the same. I miss the old Mattie. What are the odds that she'll come around and go back to being her old self? She wasn't the friendliest, most-outgoing cat before but she was not nearly as reclusive. I feel like I made a bad decision for Mattie. She's clearly not as happy. Then again, I don't have any other choice...Chloe is part of the family too, ya' know?

Give Mattie time, a month isn't very long in these things. Of course it is possible Mattie will never be quite the same, but considering they are playing together, I believe she'll be alright.

Females tend to be more upset and territorial when you bring in new cats - especially if its another female.

I'd give her far more then 5 weeks to get used to things. Eventually she will accept (almost all do). If she was not accepting, she would be much more hostile to the new cat.

We will have Charlie for a year end of this month and while Ling has accepted him, she isn't 100% accepting. She still would rather play with the dog then with Charlie


Think of it as an only child who has all the attention and a new baby brother/sister comes in the family. The only child is resentful - sometimes for a short time, sometimes longer. Eventually they will accept each other. BTW is the younger kitten spayed? If not, that could be part of the problem and should be better once she's done.

Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45

Females tend to be more upset and territorial when you bring in new cats - especially if its another female.

I'd give her far more then 5 weeks to get used to things. Eventually she will accept (almost all do). If she was not accepting, she would be much more hostile to the new cat.

We will have Charlie for a year end of this month and while Ling has accepted him, she isn't 100% accepting. She still would rather play with the dog then with Charlie

Think of it as an only child who has all the attention and a new baby brother/sister comes in the family. The only child is resentful - sometimes for a short time, sometimes longer. Eventually they will accept each other. BTW is the younger kitten spayed? If not, that could be part of the problem and should be better once she's done.

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Chloe is scheduled to be spayed in mid-January to early-February when she's between 5-6 months old. I didn't even think of that, but I'm sure it will help things a bit.

I know that time is really the only thing that can help with this sort of thing. It's just hard not to feel bad for turning Mattie's world upside down. Cats don't even know (or maybe they do) how much they really rule your life. lol

My older cat is similar to yours, in that he is a natural hider, and less 'cuddly' than you'd hope. Not antisocial as such, but likes his space and doesnt like strangers. It took us a year to get a second kitten because I was so worried it would make him more fearful or less friendly. However now we've had our kitten 3 months, its had the opposite effect.
He moped when we first brought her home, you could tell he resented us for doing it and he hid more than ever. Now he's had time to get used to her, he's more affectionate than he's EVER been. He's actually picking up the kittens more friendly traits and being more forthcoming in order to ensure we pay attention to him too Hopefully this will happen in time with your kitty!!

anything that upsets your cat will cause a behaviour change. My kismet was living essentially at the vets for 6 weeks when she needed intensive care. When she came home she was really weak, and scared. My Siamese started hisssing at her and chasing her (even though they have been together all their lives) she pretty much spent the first week under the bed. Then came out and started living in the family room. She ALWAYS used to sleep on my bed, but when she was sick she was locked in the bedroom so for the first month and a half home she wouldn't sleep with me or come to bed and only occasionally sat on my lap. It took about 2 months after the 'traumatic event' for her to get back to ger normal self, but she is back, cuddly and sleeps in bed every night!!

Seeing as that they are coexisting in peace, I am sure she'll get back to normal! Just give her some time!

I agree.

be patient.

I agree that you need to give it more time. Leya was NOT happy when we brought Stuart into the picture! She hissed constantly and wasn't the same at all. She was a very mad cat and would even be nasty to us when we tried to pet her. She wouldn't even give us kisses, instead she would smack us!

Females are VERY territorial, much more than male cats. It takes them longer to accept that someone new is in the house. It took Leya nearly 2 months to even let Stuart walk by her without attacking him.

Now look at them 4 months later.... Leya and Stuart are closer than Stuart and Enzo! They sleep together, eat together, play together, groom eachother. It's so cute to see the two of them!


Edit..... I forgot to add that I was really upset and felt terrible for Leya. My SO and I were debating keeping Stuart. We thought, maybe it's too much for a blind cat, maybe she won't ever be happy again, maybe....... I know how you feel about hurting Mattie and bringing in another cat. I promise it will all work out though! Mattie is young and will love her new cuddle buddy when she accepts the fact that she has to share HER home