Originally Posted by CarolPetunia
Hon, please forgive me for being pushy, but... when an old person says something like "You go into the hospital, but you may not come out," that's his way of saying, "Please come be with me, I'm scared."
Maybe you should make time to go visit, especially if your mom isn't mentally capable of helping him through this hospitalization. It's so important for family to be there -- not only for the patient's morale, but also because patients who have attentive families just plain get better care. It shouldn't be that way, but it is.
Is there any way you can get there?
I wish t here was, but I'm 600 miles away, limited income, no sick/PTO leave. Now, my dad didn't make that comment with this trip. He said it when we discussed the eventuality of him getting his knees 'done' (i.e. replaced). My dad is not one to get scared... never has been. Supposedly my sister is going to stop by at least once. I'm to call, on the premise of checking up on Dad, at least a couple times a day. My next step is to call my dad's new doctor (dropped the old doc for some reason) and inform him of my mother and her condition as well as her refusal to seek medical help. She's in complete denial that she has memory problems and gets confused easily. I've discussed with my dad about moving back down there and living cloe by to help them, but he refused. He's a stubborn old man (where do you think I
got it from?). I'm going to also call my aunt. Maybe she and her sis-in-law can drive down and check in on my mom and visit dad. I have to find her phone number. Dad will probably kill me for bringing her in on this, but dang it, someone needs to be there.
Something most people don't understand about my family: my parents detached themselves from everyone else (namely in my dad's side) from early on. there hasn't been a gathering of my dad's side since I was a very small child, and I'm now 35. all news we get is through my one aunt (whom I absolutely adore). My parents raised us kids to be completely independent. We don't emotionally rely on each other, or pretty much anyone. My sister (she'd kill me if she saw me write this) is very detached. she considers her life, namely the social aspects, more important. My brother is similar. My dad can got weeks, even a few months without seeing my brother. They've never been to his house out in the valley. I have a feeling that once my parents are gone, the three of us will pretty much lose touch.
Dad said today that this surgery is not very invasive, and practially an outpatient thing... he described it to me: about an hour on the table, they go in and relieve the pressure on his spinal nerve, from the disks. he had it done 8 years ago...
although you must understand something about my dad... he's tough. when he had bypass surgery 20 years ago they didn't expect him to last the night, but he was up the next day eating solid food... he fights back. he's more worried about my mom. she gets confused easily and if she's driving a route she doesn't drive every day, she may get lost (like when she takes him to the hospital in the morning, getting home may be an issue). He's leaving little notes about where he is, and to feed the cat, etc... and I'm to call. My sister is at least to call as well. But it would be better if she visited. I should go find her number... she doesn't check her email often enough.