This has been a horridly crummy year for me. I am on anti-depressants and the dose was adequate and made me feel "normal" again. But lately all I do is cry
Over the last few months my stress has been climbing because of finances. I've been off work on sick leave for 3 1/2 years now. And my income is not indexed with inflation so while everything goes up in price my income remains the same. Over that period of time my rent has increased $250.00 per month. That's a huge chunk of my disability cheque!
The last few months it's been a struggle to feed myself and I find myself running out of food without any money left to buy anymore. I've managed to make due thanks in a large part to meal replacement shakes and dried goods like rice and beans. But it's been a struggle.
This past July I got the go ahead from my doctors that I can start a rehab program to get myself physically conditioned so that I can eventually start a back to work program and then get back to my job!
However, my disability insurance company has been an obstacle. They want me off of their insurance, yet they are loathe to help me fund a rehab program.
I am in no position to pay out money for a rehab program because I can't even afford to feed myself most months.
They did put me into Physiotherapy. However I found out that when I got there I was going to have to pay them $13.00 per visit, the portion that Blue Cross didn't cover. I was scheduled to go 3 times per week! There is no way I could afford to pay that kind of money. And I told the physio place that. I wasn't aware that I was going to have to pay anything out of my own pocket!
So they contacted my disability company who said they would pick up the $13.00 cost that Blue Cross wasn't paying.
I was going faithfully to Physio and enjoying it. I had lost 18 pounds and was feeling on top of the world that things were finally starting to fall into place for me.
Then they pulled the plug! I was told by the disability insurance company that there was no funding for the "conditioning program" at the physio place and that I had to stop going
]
I had a meeting with them a few weeks later in order to come up with a "plan" of action in order to get me rehabbed and back to work.
They know of my financial difficulties and said that they can help, it was just a matter of deciding what is the best option for me so far as programs go.
I had been wanting to get into one of the cardiac refit programs that are offered through our government. I am so out of shape and over weight that I am afraid to exercise on my own. A cardiac refit program would have me closely monitored and an exercise program designed with my needs in mind. Plus it's funded by the government which means I wouldn't have to pay anything, and neither would the insurance company. I figured that would make them happy!
Unfortunately because I haven't had a heart attack or cardiac bypass surgery, they said I wasn't a candidate. Again, my hopes were dashed
There was talk about some pilot program that I may be able to get into starting in January, but even that wasn't a guaranty.
I then got a call from the insurance company telling me that they called around and it seems that I qualify for the cardiac refit program at one of the local hospitals because I have fainting issues.
I went there last month and found out that no, I didn't qualify because my fainting isn't diagnosed or confirmed to be from my heart. So I didn't get in
So that left me up in limbo so far as rehab was concerned.
The last week of November I was watching tv and saw something on a medical channel that twigged my memory. It mentioned an "enlarged heart", and it dawned on me that my last chest xray showed that my heart is mildly enlarged due to my sleep apnea problem.
I called the hospital and they said that would qualify me for the cardiac refit program!
I had my doctor fax a note over saying that I had an enlarged heart and was referred to the cardiac refit program. He did that. So everything seemed a go!
I got a call from the girl who is the go between between me and the insurance company. She asked me to find out if Blue Cross will pay any of the costs to defray the cost that the insurance company will have to pay.
I called Blue Cross and was told they pay 80% up to a total of $300.00 and that it is a lifetime amount.
On Wednesday, the day before I was to go to the hospital to get assessed for entrance to the program, I got a call from my healthcare liason who told me that the insurance company called her and told her that I would have to pay the difference that Blue Cross isn't paying!
I went to the assessment anyway and took my cheque book. I figured I could write them a post dated cheque for the end of the month.
Apparently they don't take cheques and require cash for the balance upon registration and the completion of the Blue Cross form.
I told her that I couldn't pay anything that day because I had just declared bankruptcy and didn't have a dime to my name until the end of the month and that my insurance company is refusing to pick up the balance of the cost like they said they would during my meeting with them.
It turns out that they have a supplement program for those in need, and I certainly qualified for that. So the government is subsedising the amount that Blue Cross isn't paying. So I am starting a rehab program on January 2, 2008. It's my first step to getting back to work!
Now I should be over the moon about that. But the bankruptcy and lack of money is looming over me. I may have to give up my computer because it's currently leased and I don't know if I can afford to keep up the payments on it because with the montly bankruptcy fee, and the fact that I am now going to be in a position where I can have income tax taken off of my monthly cheques so that I don't end up owing the government $4,000 at the end of the year, will leave me in a worse situation where money is concerned for the next 9 months if I don't return to work soon! If I give back the computer and cancel my internet, I save $150.00 per month, which puts me into a little better position financially than I was. Not by much, but a little.
My problem with that is that I don't get out of the house very often and that the internet has become my social "outting" and my connection to the outside world. Without it I am totally isolated.
I have been so weepy. I cry and cry throughout the day, even as I type this.
I take Celexa 30 mg everyday for depression and anxiety. I know the dose can go up to 40 mg if need be. I decided to increase my dose to 40 mg starting today and to call and let my doctor know that I have done that.
Christmas should be a happy time of the year. If it weren't for a food bank charity that gives out "Christmas Food Hampers" to those in need, I wouldn't even have anything to eat on Christmas Day this year. This is the worst holiday that I have ever spent
Over the last few months my stress has been climbing because of finances. I've been off work on sick leave for 3 1/2 years now. And my income is not indexed with inflation so while everything goes up in price my income remains the same. Over that period of time my rent has increased $250.00 per month. That's a huge chunk of my disability cheque!
The last few months it's been a struggle to feed myself and I find myself running out of food without any money left to buy anymore. I've managed to make due thanks in a large part to meal replacement shakes and dried goods like rice and beans. But it's been a struggle.
This past July I got the go ahead from my doctors that I can start a rehab program to get myself physically conditioned so that I can eventually start a back to work program and then get back to my job!
However, my disability insurance company has been an obstacle. They want me off of their insurance, yet they are loathe to help me fund a rehab program.
I am in no position to pay out money for a rehab program because I can't even afford to feed myself most months.
They did put me into Physiotherapy. However I found out that when I got there I was going to have to pay them $13.00 per visit, the portion that Blue Cross didn't cover. I was scheduled to go 3 times per week! There is no way I could afford to pay that kind of money. And I told the physio place that. I wasn't aware that I was going to have to pay anything out of my own pocket!
So they contacted my disability company who said they would pick up the $13.00 cost that Blue Cross wasn't paying.
I was going faithfully to Physio and enjoying it. I had lost 18 pounds and was feeling on top of the world that things were finally starting to fall into place for me.
Then they pulled the plug! I was told by the disability insurance company that there was no funding for the "conditioning program" at the physio place and that I had to stop going
I had a meeting with them a few weeks later in order to come up with a "plan" of action in order to get me rehabbed and back to work.
They know of my financial difficulties and said that they can help, it was just a matter of deciding what is the best option for me so far as programs go.
I had been wanting to get into one of the cardiac refit programs that are offered through our government. I am so out of shape and over weight that I am afraid to exercise on my own. A cardiac refit program would have me closely monitored and an exercise program designed with my needs in mind. Plus it's funded by the government which means I wouldn't have to pay anything, and neither would the insurance company. I figured that would make them happy!
Unfortunately because I haven't had a heart attack or cardiac bypass surgery, they said I wasn't a candidate. Again, my hopes were dashed
There was talk about some pilot program that I may be able to get into starting in January, but even that wasn't a guaranty.
I then got a call from the insurance company telling me that they called around and it seems that I qualify for the cardiac refit program at one of the local hospitals because I have fainting issues.
I went there last month and found out that no, I didn't qualify because my fainting isn't diagnosed or confirmed to be from my heart. So I didn't get in
So that left me up in limbo so far as rehab was concerned.
The last week of November I was watching tv and saw something on a medical channel that twigged my memory. It mentioned an "enlarged heart", and it dawned on me that my last chest xray showed that my heart is mildly enlarged due to my sleep apnea problem.
I called the hospital and they said that would qualify me for the cardiac refit program!
I got a call from the girl who is the go between between me and the insurance company. She asked me to find out if Blue Cross will pay any of the costs to defray the cost that the insurance company will have to pay.
I called Blue Cross and was told they pay 80% up to a total of $300.00 and that it is a lifetime amount.
On Wednesday, the day before I was to go to the hospital to get assessed for entrance to the program, I got a call from my healthcare liason who told me that the insurance company called her and told her that I would have to pay the difference that Blue Cross isn't paying!
I went to the assessment anyway and took my cheque book. I figured I could write them a post dated cheque for the end of the month.
Apparently they don't take cheques and require cash for the balance upon registration and the completion of the Blue Cross form.
I told her that I couldn't pay anything that day because I had just declared bankruptcy and didn't have a dime to my name until the end of the month and that my insurance company is refusing to pick up the balance of the cost like they said they would during my meeting with them.
It turns out that they have a supplement program for those in need, and I certainly qualified for that. So the government is subsedising the amount that Blue Cross isn't paying. So I am starting a rehab program on January 2, 2008. It's my first step to getting back to work!
Now I should be over the moon about that. But the bankruptcy and lack of money is looming over me. I may have to give up my computer because it's currently leased and I don't know if I can afford to keep up the payments on it because with the montly bankruptcy fee, and the fact that I am now going to be in a position where I can have income tax taken off of my monthly cheques so that I don't end up owing the government $4,000 at the end of the year, will leave me in a worse situation where money is concerned for the next 9 months if I don't return to work soon! If I give back the computer and cancel my internet, I save $150.00 per month, which puts me into a little better position financially than I was. Not by much, but a little.
My problem with that is that I don't get out of the house very often and that the internet has become my social "outting" and my connection to the outside world. Without it I am totally isolated.
I have been so weepy. I cry and cry throughout the day, even as I type this.
I take Celexa 30 mg everyday for depression and anxiety. I know the dose can go up to 40 mg if need be. I decided to increase my dose to 40 mg starting today and to call and let my doctor know that I have done that.
Christmas should be a happy time of the year. If it weren't for a food bank charity that gives out "Christmas Food Hampers" to those in need, I wouldn't even have anything to eat on Christmas Day this year. This is the worst holiday that I have ever spent
