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How do you decide who to send christmas cards to?

post #1 of 26
Thread Starter 
DH and I send out tons of Christmas cards every year. Most of the folks on the list are his family and old friends, and at least half of them (cousins and old friends we haven't seen in years) have never sent a card in return. Each year I ask him if he wants them on the list and he says yes, it's his way of letting them know he is thinking about them. It's a valid argument.

I've started tracking the folks that send cards back and have done that for about 10 years now. I point out the fact that many of these people don't bother to respond in any fashion.

When does enough become enough and you stop sending cards?
post #2 of 26
We don't send Christmas cards at all. I just send emails to cousins and friends who live far away. It sounds bad, but it's much simpler especially since most of them never respond... even to an email!
post #3 of 26
My mom tracks like you do too and will stop sending if she hasn't gotten a card from someone in 2-3 years.

While your husband does have a valid argument, still if I wonder what they're thinking on their end (i.e. "Why do they continue to write???")

I'd say stop one year and then see if they start sending anything next year.
post #4 of 26
I'd say, continue with the ones who send cards back. But not to the ones who don't.

I sort of think its your DH's decision though if it is his family.

We don't send cards to any of the family we don't see.
post #5 of 26
I have just a couple close friends out of state that I send cards to, but that's it. I have never sent them to family. If I like them, I will send a gift, if I don't, they get nothing
post #6 of 26
Well, I'm from the opposite side of the coin - if you feel that they are good enough friends, or family, send the cards! Some people don't send cards for whatever reason, but that doesn't mean that they don't love you and aren't thinking of you! I would say stop counting and send to those that mean something to you, whether they return the card or not. They likely are thinking of you and show that in different ways!
post #7 of 26
I really don't have any rhyme or reason and don't always get cards out each year.

There's a friend of my mom's who has this huge list of people that she sends cards to for every holiday (Valentines, St Patricks day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, etc). She buys them on sale or in bulk all year long. She never expects anything back. She just believes that people need to be remembered every once in awhile.
post #8 of 26
I send out cards to anyone really I love sending them!
post #9 of 26
I was thinking the other day of seeing who sends us cards this year and making next years based off that. I know some people respond and others don't. Then if next year I get a card from someone I didn't send one to, I can always send them one later.
post #10 of 26
I just love sending people cards And I always try to send one back to anyone that sends me one, but sometimes it doesnt happen.
post #11 of 26
I send them to anyone & everyone that are close enough to me to be considered family and friends!
I love Christmas cards!
post #12 of 26
I send them to whoever I want to send cards to, based on friendship, family etc.

To me it doesn't matter if I do not get one back, they will know I thought about them at a time that means a lot to me in relation to spending time with family and friends.
post #13 of 26
lol if i like you or not is how i cards.
I refuse to do the i only hear from you once a year thing. SO my card list is very small

I had a friend in high school and college, right up until he got married.
THen he vanished, i started getting xmas cards from him, all printed and signed by a printer, goes in the tash now. lol oh yea, he still sends them to my fathers house(where i have not lived in 20 years? )
post #14 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by LokisMum View Post
Well, I'm from the opposite side of the coin - if you feel that they are good enough friends, or family, send the cards! Some people don't send cards for whatever reason, but that doesn't mean that they don't love you and aren't thinking of you! I would say stop counting and send to those that mean something to you, whether they return the card or not. They likely are thinking of you and show that in different ways!
Thats how I do it, too.
post #15 of 26
I'm sending them to nearly everyone on my wedding guest list.... some are getting pictures, others are just getting a card.
post #16 of 26
I normally send out cards to my mom's customers, a few family members (but i see most of them, so i don't send out a lot), and sometimes some friends. Sounds weird about my mom's customers- but she cleans homes for a living -and most of them she's been cleaning since i was a little baby- so i've grown up around them- they always give me a little gift every year- so i am always a huge fan of sending them a card/being sweet...all of them are comming to our upcomming wedding too They are all soo sweet! (kind of like a huge extended family!)

As far as family goes- i normally don't send out much- since most of them live close to us now. This year they are all comming to my house for Christmas, so there's not a ton of reason to mail them out. I am not sending out a ton of them this year as with the upcomming wedding -i'm about to spend a fortune on postage in the next month or so...so i'm trying to behave with my holiday spending I might just have to break my rule though

Next year i think we'll get our picture made with our furbabies and send out a family card I adore recieving Christmas cards from family/friends- it always puts such a smile on my face!!
post #17 of 26
I just got done writing out 60 of them and I keep thinking that I might have missed someone.
post #18 of 26
Thread Starter 
Thanks all for your insights! Most of the ones where we don't get responses back are his cousins. I've never met most of them (and we've been together for 20 years), and have never even heard their voice (they don't call us and we don't call them). But they are "first cousins", so they get a card.

Maybe I'm being overly sensitive here. I'm the one that ends up writing up the cards each year, as I have the better handwriting in the house. Mine is barely legible, but DH'ss is worse than a doctor's scribble. I get a little annoyed sending cards to people I've never met, never will meet, and have no clue what type of people they are.
post #19 of 26
I don't send cards to family I have never met just because they are family. Mostly grandmas, my mum & sisters, aunts and uncles and cousins I grew up around.
post #20 of 26
With me, if they have an email address they get a Christmas card of at least a Merry Christmas email. There are a few I send cards to, mainly older relatives and friends that I know don't have email, but postage has gotten so high and things are so tight right now that I don't have the extra money to mail cards.

My mom had an address book strictly for Christmas cards (she would send out about 200 when I was growing up). She would keep a tally of who send cards back, and if it had been 3 years since she got one in return she stopped sending to that person. There were a few people she continued to send to because they were elderly, and one was in a nusing home. She wasn't a relative, but a teacher that mom got close to when she was in high school and kept in touch ever since. After 5 years of no responses, she finally got a letter from a nurse at the nursing home saying she passed away earlier that year, but always looked forward to getting her card from my mom.
post #21 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momofmany View Post
Thanks all for your insights! Most of the ones where we don't get responses back are his cousins. I've never met most of them (and we've been together for 20 years), and have never even heard their voice (they don't call us and we don't call them). But they are "first cousins", so they get a card.

Maybe I'm being overly sensitive here. I'm the one that ends up writing up the cards each year, as I have the better handwriting in the house. Mine is barely legible, but DH'ss is worse than a doctor's scribble. I get a little annoyed sending cards to people I've never met, never will meet, and have no clue what type of people they are.

I would try to contact the first cousins, I mean what if they have moved? or passed away?
post #22 of 26
I don't know when enough becomes enough. No one likes to feel left out though and I love sending them so our list is long. And yes, as a wife I usually end up doing them all, but I do love to so no big deal.
Christmas is only once a year and I love sending people mail. I know most enjoy getting them too, even if they don't send anything back in return. Just give to give and keep sending the cards. You never know how much that one simple card once a year could mean to them. Just a thought.
post #23 of 26
Some years I send cards, and some years I don't. When I do, it's to people I think about often but don't see often -- in some of those cases, it's a once a year thing, and we exchange short notes, too. I have a bunch of cousins, but have never been close enough to any of them to do cards.
post #24 of 26
I don't normally send out cards. Occasionally, I send will send a couple. Even when I sent them, I hardly got any back.

I remember the year my mom passed away. this was in 1994. I sent cards to people in her address book that she was close to. There was one woman that lived in our city that I sent a card to. This was one of my mom's best friends.

Well, that woman, I refuse to call her a "lady" sent me a letter after Christmas. Not a very nice letter either. She basically told me that if she wanted her to have a Merry Christmas, that I should have sent her money! I was floored by her response. My mom didn't leave much of an estate but I did give her some of my mom's stuff that she wanted.

I never wrote back after that. She was friends with many of the transit bus drivers, as long as they "loaned' her money. When they stopped, she stopped talking to them. I heard she died a few years ago... A lonely, bitter old woman. I tried reaching out to her by sending that card in my mom's memory but was met by so much bitterness.

That was so sad
post #25 of 26
(not including family) I just send cards to people I'm sending gifts to, and who I see nearly every day. I also save some cards incase I get a few from people I didn't write any for.
post #26 of 26
I send them to family and friends, and always get them in return(if not before lol)
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