I need other people's views here. First, a quick background: I have set myself on a course to start a new life for my daughter and myself. I have alot of things going on in my life right now that all need my full attention. Part of my new course in life is to weed out people who bring too much drama and negativity in my life--which is part of the reason that I am getting a divorce. It's been very refreshing so far, and with each negative thing that I have cut out of my life, the better I feel and the easier things have been for me and my daughter.
Now here's the problem that I am having:
I have 2 friends in my life that I like. One is a 40-something that is on alot of meds and has alot of health problems. I have known "Deanna" for about 2 years now, and I have come to the realization that she's an enabler to my addictive nature. You see, she and I met through the aquarium hobby. As much as I would love to waterproof a room in my apartment and fill it with fish, I just have never have ad the money to do so. Even though I would tell her in several different ways that I was broke at the time, or just couldn't bring home any more fish, she would convince me to do so. She has also convinced me to bring home animals that I just didn't have the money to care for or afford to keep, and I would feel alot of guilt every time I looked at the animal. Those animals were later given a home in which they are now happy in. Besides that, I am really tired of hearing about all of her ailments and meds that she is on. Now, she's turned to trying to convince me that I have ADD and that I NEED to get on Ritalin. I've even told her that I didn't want to hear about it, and that if I had a concern, I would bring it up with my doctor, and I have also told her that I have noticed a pattern with every new med she is prescribed (taking pills for side effects of side effects) and that she probably just needs to detox and start from scratch. I am thinking that Deanna needs to go because she can turn an image of a unicorn tip-toeing through a meadow of flowers in the sunshine into an image a rot and decay with just a breath. I just don't know how to cut her out of my life, especially since she lives 3 minutes from my apartment.
Then there is my 30-something friend, "Jill" who is a single mom who is also going through a divorce, but her situation is much messier than mine. Without getting into too much detail, it's DRAMA all around with her divorce. Besides that, there is the issue with her son and her sister who just moved to town. I have already cut her sister out of my life. I first met Jill at my daughter's school. Her son and my daughter have become darn good friends. Her son and my daughter go to the same school and were in after school care together until recently. She and I live on building from each other in the apartment complex together. Her son was an absolute precious, loving child when I first met them. Jill and I were helping each other out with groceries, picking up the kids after school or at after school care, and just helping each other out because we are both single moms. She and I have formed a very close friendship since meeting in August. But, since then, her kid has turned into an out of control terror of a child, and I have even told Jill this. I am actually glad that my daughter has been sick for almost a week because she and Jill's son haven't been around each other, and my daughter's attitude has improved because she was picking up some of his ways. Also, I think Jill has started relying on me a little too much to "solve" her problems because I feel like it's gotten to the point to where it seems like she's forgotten to think for herself and to no think things through.
I don't want to be a total "female dog" and just call them and say, "You're too negative and bring too much drama into my life, so I am permanently cutting you out of my life." But I feel that's what it's come to.
Now here's the problem that I am having:
I have 2 friends in my life that I like. One is a 40-something that is on alot of meds and has alot of health problems. I have known "Deanna" for about 2 years now, and I have come to the realization that she's an enabler to my addictive nature. You see, she and I met through the aquarium hobby. As much as I would love to waterproof a room in my apartment and fill it with fish, I just have never have ad the money to do so. Even though I would tell her in several different ways that I was broke at the time, or just couldn't bring home any more fish, she would convince me to do so. She has also convinced me to bring home animals that I just didn't have the money to care for or afford to keep, and I would feel alot of guilt every time I looked at the animal. Those animals were later given a home in which they are now happy in. Besides that, I am really tired of hearing about all of her ailments and meds that she is on. Now, she's turned to trying to convince me that I have ADD and that I NEED to get on Ritalin. I've even told her that I didn't want to hear about it, and that if I had a concern, I would bring it up with my doctor, and I have also told her that I have noticed a pattern with every new med she is prescribed (taking pills for side effects of side effects) and that she probably just needs to detox and start from scratch. I am thinking that Deanna needs to go because she can turn an image of a unicorn tip-toeing through a meadow of flowers in the sunshine into an image a rot and decay with just a breath. I just don't know how to cut her out of my life, especially since she lives 3 minutes from my apartment.
Then there is my 30-something friend, "Jill" who is a single mom who is also going through a divorce, but her situation is much messier than mine. Without getting into too much detail, it's DRAMA all around with her divorce. Besides that, there is the issue with her son and her sister who just moved to town. I have already cut her sister out of my life. I first met Jill at my daughter's school. Her son and my daughter have become darn good friends. Her son and my daughter go to the same school and were in after school care together until recently. She and I live on building from each other in the apartment complex together. Her son was an absolute precious, loving child when I first met them. Jill and I were helping each other out with groceries, picking up the kids after school or at after school care, and just helping each other out because we are both single moms. She and I have formed a very close friendship since meeting in August. But, since then, her kid has turned into an out of control terror of a child, and I have even told Jill this. I am actually glad that my daughter has been sick for almost a week because she and Jill's son haven't been around each other, and my daughter's attitude has improved because she was picking up some of his ways. Also, I think Jill has started relying on me a little too much to "solve" her problems because I feel like it's gotten to the point to where it seems like she's forgotten to think for herself and to no think things through.
I don't want to be a total "female dog" and just call them and say, "You're too negative and bring too much drama into my life, so I am permanently cutting you out of my life." But I feel that's what it's come to.
