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- Aug 20, 2006
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I've been going to this office on/off since December last year when i had a big breakdown in regards to Tristan, basically i couldn't kiss him, hug him, be in the same vicinity for long, etc and every day and night i was bawling my eyes out and feeling very depressed till i was sick. Just to note, neither of us have cheated or lied or done anything, this literally happened in ONE day. It's a extremely long explanation about the way my brain decided to protect me and put up a wall, so i won't go into it.
I had a break after a few months with my first councellor in March because i thought i was all better. Everything got bad again and i freaked out so i went back there, but do a different lady as my other psych changed jobs for a while. Now i've been seeing this lady for about maybe 4 months on a weekly to fortnightly basis. Now it's getting to the point where some days i just don't feel like talking, or i feel fine that day and i don't want to waste anyones time if i'm happy enough to be home.
Today she gave me some tools to work with for destressing in regards to my father and his ways that completely irritate me. But when she said she is confident that i can stop councelling i freaked out!! It is my security blanket! I feel if i leave again, even if i feel ok right now, that something will go wrong and i'll be back at stage one, yet again. Pretty much if it happens a third time, i will be feeling suicidal because i don't know if i'd have enough enery for another round. Things are slowly picking up with Tristan but i still feel distant sometimes and it's not the same as it was a year ago, but i do love him, and this relationship is worth all the effort and waiting, i couldn't imagine being without him.
I told my councellor of all my worries, and especially as we're moving in 7 weeks, i'm going to be alot further away and may have to go to someone else anyway. So we've decided for the moment, to have a 5 week break from now till after new Years. Xmas and the move will distract me, but i can always go back in a fortnight if i'm feeling worried.
This is really scary. Can any of you tell me if you've had this before, being told you're ready to move on but not wanting to?
I had a break after a few months with my first councellor in March because i thought i was all better. Everything got bad again and i freaked out so i went back there, but do a different lady as my other psych changed jobs for a while. Now i've been seeing this lady for about maybe 4 months on a weekly to fortnightly basis. Now it's getting to the point where some days i just don't feel like talking, or i feel fine that day and i don't want to waste anyones time if i'm happy enough to be home.
Today she gave me some tools to work with for destressing in regards to my father and his ways that completely irritate me. But when she said she is confident that i can stop councelling i freaked out!! It is my security blanket! I feel if i leave again, even if i feel ok right now, that something will go wrong and i'll be back at stage one, yet again. Pretty much if it happens a third time, i will be feeling suicidal because i don't know if i'd have enough enery for another round. Things are slowly picking up with Tristan but i still feel distant sometimes and it's not the same as it was a year ago, but i do love him, and this relationship is worth all the effort and waiting, i couldn't imagine being without him.
I told my councellor of all my worries, and especially as we're moving in 7 weeks, i'm going to be alot further away and may have to go to someone else anyway. So we've decided for the moment, to have a 5 week break from now till after new Years. Xmas and the move will distract me, but i can always go back in a fortnight if i'm feeling worried.
This is really scary. Can any of you tell me if you've had this before, being told you're ready to move on but not wanting to?