She thinks i'm ready to stop councelling!

I've been going to this office on/off since December last year when i had a big breakdown in regards to Tristan, basically i couldn't kiss him, hug him, be in the same vicinity for long, etc and every day and night i was bawling my eyes out and feeling very depressed till i was sick. Just to note, neither of us have cheated or lied or done anything, this literally happened in ONE day. It's a extremely long explanation about the way my brain decided to protect me and put up a wall, so i won't go into it.

I had a break after a few months with my first councellor in March because i thought i was all better. Everything got bad again and i freaked out so i went back there, but do a different lady as my other psych changed jobs for a while. Now i've been seeing this lady for about maybe 4 months on a weekly to fortnightly basis. Now it's getting to the point where some days i just don't feel like talking, or i feel fine that day and i don't want to waste anyones time if i'm happy enough to be home.

Today she gave me some tools to work with for destressing in regards to my father and his ways that completely irritate me. But when she said she is confident that i can stop councelling i freaked out!! It is my security blanket! I feel if i leave again, even if i feel ok right now, that something will go wrong and i'll be back at stage one, yet again. Pretty much if it happens a third time, i will be feeling suicidal because i don't know if i'd have enough enery for another round. Things are slowly picking up with Tristan but i still feel distant sometimes and it's not the same as it was a year ago, but i do love him, and this relationship is worth all the effort and waiting, i couldn't imagine being without him.

I told my councellor of all my worries, and especially as we're moving in 7 weeks, i'm going to be alot further away and may have to go to someone else anyway. So we've decided for the moment, to have a 5 week break from now till after new Years. Xmas and the move will distract me, but i can always go back in a fortnight if i'm feeling worried.

This is really scary. Can any of you tell me if you've had this before, being told you're ready to move on but not wanting to?

I have never been in the spot you are in,
But, its a good start i think? give it that time to see how you feel.
If those old feeling start coming back again, then maybe you can ask her, for someone in your area that you can see?

I really hope you are feeling better

Maybe I can help you with this conundrum. I am a trained psychotherapist (however, I only do psychological evaluations now rather than therapy) and I understand your therapist's perspective. We are taught in graduate school not to string clients along for years and years. There has been problems in the past where people see the same psychologist for over 10 years. Many critics think that the therapist is abusing their "power" and making their clients feel helpless and totally reliant on their assistance. Therefore, it is more common for therapists to encourage clients to terminate when they show signs of improvement.

In my opinion, maybe you should ween off therapy slowly. Specifically, maybe see her bi-monthly and then switch to monthly when you feel comfortable. Ultimately, your therapist should help you adopt psychological tools to manage the stressors in your life without decompensating. However, if you do reach a breaking point, you should be able to check in for an emergency session. That is a common practice.

Anyway, I think it is great that your therapist has confidence in you!

P.S. Have you ever thought about meeting with a psychiatrist for a medical evaluation? I'm not sure what your issues are but medication may help you function more smoothly on a daily basis.

Medication was discussed long ago and that is a no to me. I do not want to be on any drugs that alter my moods without my control.

I changed fortnightly from weekly a couple of months ago so i am doing it bi-monthly atm.

She did say to me she didn't want me to be paying money when she thinks i don't need too much more help, which is very honest of her.

I was diagnosed with depression/anixiety/low esteem issues when i did a job capacity assessment a year ago and then again about 6 months ago. But i have changed alot since then. I get depressed on and off like most people, since i was about 16, when the height of the bullying at college peaked and i dropped out. I don't have suicidal thoughts or do self harm, but there are days when i just want to curl up into a ball and tell the world to bugger off (the clean way of saying it). That's been getting less and less.

Today i got two activities for the future. 'Distress tolerance' which has ideas for a self soothing box. Roughly 6 pages of ideas for a box for the 5 sense for when i'm stressed (putting in essential oil, a photo i'm fond of etc), affirmations, a rainy day letter, increase positive events, create safe place awareness, mantras etc.

And 'the basic mindfulness formula' which is very much like meditation. We tried it out today and i felt very relaxed.

This is right up my alley as i am artistic, spiritual, new age and open minded. I'm going to read them over when i get to bed, but i'm planning the box for when we move (in 7 weeks) as my new room will be a haven, and most of my relaxation stuff is packed now.