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need some help decididing if i should get a friend for my cat

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
sorry if this is the wrong place to post this.

okay so ive had my cat that i adopted for 6months now. patrina is her name. she is 3 years old and came from a house with 3 other cats. she is a pretty good cat except she doesnt let me hold her and gets scared alot if i come to her and takes off running. basically if she wants attention she comes to me. BUT the biggest problem i have with her is she MEOWS ALL THE TIME. i dont need an alarm clock because i have her. to be honest the meows drive me nuts. when i get home from work they start off loud and then they just become a quite meow that i think is even worse then the loud ones. now before u guys jump all over me and say thats natural they do that. ive had 4 cats in my life and she has meow'd in the last 6 months more so then all the other 4 combined.

so now u know a little about her here is what finally came to me

i remember the adoption lady telling me she came from a house of 3 other cats. i know she meows because she is calling out for other cats. so i went and got my parents cat. the nicest cat ive ever met and brought it over. when patrina saw him she hissed and hissed and then ran and hid. not what i wanted to happen but that stuff takes time. my parents cat is a boy so that might of had something to do with it. anyways i found another female cat around the same age as patrina to adopt. i want to do it becuase im guessing patrina wants a friend maybe thats why she meows alot but i dont know because i dont want to make her unhappy. whats everyones thoughts on this? is the constant meowing because she is lonely? need help with this desperately.

thanks in advance.
post #2 of 15
I am really glad that I got my cat Raven a friend. She is a lot younger though. I think that the hissing and stuff was totally normal and it would just take awhile for two kittys to get used to each other.
post #3 of 15
it's normal that your cat hated your parents cat, cats need time to adjust. a friend can be a good thing. how did she do in the other household with other cats? not all cats always want to be around other cats, she may have been unhappy there, of she may be meowing for company now.
post #4 of 15
The frequent meowing could very well be the way that she is expressing her loneliness. She is not used to not having any other cats around for interaction.

If you have the wherewithal to provide a companion for her, getting a second cat is a great idea. Two cats are more fun than one, once they work out their social arrangements. There are plenty of threads on this forum about how to properly introduce cats to each other and to your home. When you read them you'll find that hissing/growling/hiding is perfectly normal and is to be expected, as mom2raven and karebearcasey already noted. It's very unlikely that it was due to your mother's cat being a boy. In fact many people seem to recommend pairing a female cat with a male (as long as they're spayed/neutured). Males tend to be friendlier and less territorial than females. Which isn't to say that adopting another female wouldn't work. It comes down to the personalities of the individual cats.

Good luck!
post #5 of 15
IMO if she was ok with other cats, then I'd get her a companion. Females tend to be more territorial and take longer to accept a new cat, but I highly recommend a younger neutered male for best results.

It may still take months for them to adjust, but worth it for you and her
post #6 of 15
We've literally just done the same thing. We already had an 18-month old Female cat called Millie who spends most week days on her own when we are at work. She was and still is a bit timid and doesn't like be handled too often, however she was very vocal constantly meowing and chirping for attention to the point that it drove us nuts.
Last Friday we took the delivery of a 10-12 week old male kitten (called Milo) and since then she has hardly chirped or meowed for attention. We have introduced them to each other and they seem to be ok (so far). Millie basically spends most of her time watching Milo from a distance, but does occasionally charge him and starts to swat him or hides and pounces. I don't think she is being overly violent and Milo doesn't appear to be affected, but I do tend to step in to stop her. Obviously at the moment we can't leave them both to roam the house unobserved together, as it's only been a few days. So for the time being, Milo is locked away in our bedroom during the day.

I'd say go ahead and get another cat, but if you want to wait a few weeks/months before you decide, drop me an email and i'll keep you posted on how things work out.
post #7 of 15
You can't tell how a cat will react to a companion by bringing over some random cat and dumping it into their home. That cat is now an interloper, and most cats will react accordingly.

The most important determination in a new friend is cat matching. She's always lived with other cats (well, I hope) so the first step is asking the cat's former owner if she had another cat she was friendly with, and what this cat is like.

This way you will have something to look for in a new cat.

The biggest problem is getting a cat who is too playful or insistent on getting to know her. She might see these constant overtures before she is ready to respond as harassment, and then you will have two cats who will dislike the sight of each other.

She likes to be the one who makes overtures, at least with you. So getting another cat who is equally laid back, and/or respectful of other cat's "space" is essential. What did you like about her, and can you see this in the other cat you are thinking of getting?

Of course, proper introductions are essential. To avoid triggering the "interloper" response, make up a separate room for the new cat and be prepared to keep them separate until she is no longer frightened of the idea.
post #8 of 15
Oh yes, a second cat is a wonderful idea My suggestion would be a laid back male cat. I can only echo what others here have said. There are many terrific cats out there wishing for a loving home. One will be lucky to find you

In my situation, I had an almost 11 yr old male cat who grew up around many other animals. Then he was stuck with just me for over a year in a small studio apartment. Others here advised me to get an older cat to keep him company. While I was searching, I came across Daphne who was 8 weeks old. They have turned out to be wonderful companions. Daph would like to play more than Seb likes. I can see why people get two kittens - so the energy levels match Good luck again!
post #9 of 15
Thread Starter 
first let me say thank u guys so much for ur help. i read everyones post and feel alot smarter. ive learned so much more about my cat by just reading and taking everyones advice. so thanks again its greatly appreciated.

now some of u guys have said i should ask the previous owners how she was with the other cats but thats impossible because i was told they moved back to there home country of australia.

now the meowing is really making me sad because as some of u have said it could be because she is lonely. i play with her as much as i possibly can but i know its not enough so now i without a doubt want to get her another cat.

so she is a 3 year old female cat and some of u guys have said get a boy and some have said get a girl. now im confused. i dont know where to go with this one. male? female? older or younger?

once again thanks for all the help.
post #10 of 15
I am wondering the same thing, I have a little ginger tom called Oliver that is 6 months old. I love him to bits, he's very affectionate, now I regret not getting his brother or sister when I got him. I am out quite a lot, I especially don't like leaving him at night, (i keep him downstairs because when I tried to let him sleep with me, he wiped his face all over mine all night to try get me up). He gets along fine with my mums dog, the only problem is when he wants to play and the dog doesnt haha

So should I get another friend for him and what age, gender is best?

P.S this is my boy laying on my shoes
post #11 of 15
Maybe you could find a rescue that allows "trial adoptions" so you can have a few weeks to see how your cat reacts and how you all get along with each other. When I adopted Possum, that is what I originally did.

Sometimes you just have to go with your gut instinct on whether your cat is lonely or not. My cat, Loki, was surrendered to the Humane Society, so I also could not ask his original owners them if he really enjoyed the company of other cats; I just knew that he had lived previously with 2 other cats. I thought he might be lonely, and it turned out I was right, and he was much happier when Possum came along.

Well, I'm not sure of a male or female; I think it's really up to you. I prefer male cats, and like someone else mentioned, I have heard that females tend to accept younger males easier that other females. But I have no experience with female cats, myself, and I wouldn't cross the females ones off your list if you do like female cats. Just make sure that all cats get spayed or neutered.

I would adopt a 1-2 year old cat; a young kitten might drive your 3-year-old crazy with it's energy.

Spamvicious- He might want a friend to play with. You might want to get a kitten around Oliver's age, but either gender would be fine. Again, it's mostly your own preference, but be sure to get both spayed or neutered (if Oliver hasn't been neutered already). Kittens are old enough to procreate at that age. He's definitely a cutie!

post #12 of 15
Thanks Tricia,
I rang the local rescue centre today and they are inundated with cats and kittens so I will go there tomorrow to have a look around. Apparently some of them are very traumatised so that makes me a little uneasy, I really want to give them a second chance at a happy home but I don't want to make life difficult for Oliver either. The rescue place make sure the cats/kittens are fully healthy, vacinated and spayed/neutered which is great. Oliver is getting neutered next month.
post #13 of 15
Although this is not nearly the same circumstances as you have...
I have two male kittens, ~7 months old that I got when they were ~4 weeks old. If they are seperated, i.e. 1 on the porch and 1 inside, etc. They will yeowlll for each other, somewhat like you are describing.

In your case, I think that if she did not do well with other cats in the foster home, they would have told you not to have another cat. Usually rescue groups are good about telling you if an animal cannot live with other animals,etc.

If I were you, I'd go to the shelter, etc. and look for a very friendly cat. If you really want an affectionate cat to you, then I'd look for one that exhibits that affection towards you at the shelter. Ask the people there which cats are ok with other cats, etc. Once you find a cat that you like and should work ok with your current cat, you can adopt him/her, then slowly introduce them.

post #14 of 15
I'm not sure Mi-ke was lonely when I decided to get her a friend. Part of the reason I did was because I was going to be away for a couple of weeks and she'd just have a sitter, so I thought it would be nice to have someone around. She was also getting more "boring," I guess--sleeping all the time. I thought maybe another cat would at least give her something to "do," something to keep her occupied. So I got her Tora in March, and they're OK together. They were playing a while ago. Mi-ke keeps herself to herself and Tora's more social, but it still seems to work. She's getting more exercise with him around. Anyway, I think a second cat is usually a good idea.
post #15 of 15
I think a second cat is a wonderful idea - but I should add that your kitty may still vocalize after getting a companion. Ares loves to talk and uses his voice often to let me know what he's thinking. (i.e. Where's my food, Mom? I'm bored! Where are you? Where's Hypnos?) Hypnos has brought fun and excitement for Ares - they both really enjoy each others company. I would think about your cat's gender, age, and activity level, and choose an appropriate companion. In my case, Ares is a 7 month old neutered male, who is very active with an alpha personality. Hypnos was 3 months old when he came home, is very friendly and active, outgoing but not overly assertive. Their personalities and activity level really mesh and they were buddies within a week. (Remember that introductions between kitties can take longer - in my case it turned out that Ares was not threatened by Hypnos and really wanted a playmate.)
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