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why does my cat like everyone but me ???

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 
Hi everyone,
I have 2 male cats, Tuffy and Sam. Tuffy is 2 years old, and Sam is 8 months. I've had them both since they were kittens. My problem is with Sam. Sam loves all my kids and will happily climb onto their laps for a cuddle and a pat. When I try to cuddle him, he won't have anything to do with it. If I pick him up, he struggles to get away from me. I've had lots of cats over the years, and once they leave kittenhood, most of them end up the same as Sam - they love everyone but me !. Tuffy used to be like Sam, but for no particular reason, he has decided that I'm not so bad after all. I am the main feeder of all our animals, and when the cats want to know me, it's if they think I'm going to fed them. I have 2 maltese dogs who are my shadows, but Sam likes them both - So I'm mystified as to why I'm so unpopular. Any ideas would be really appreciated.
post #2 of 7
You know it really depends. Cats really don't develope a true personality until a year or so. Usually the feeder or the one who plays most of the time is thier favorite. You said you have the 2 dogs on your heels. It may be that the dogs are preventing him from coming to see you. Tuffy probably made up his mind that he doesnt care about the dogs anymore. Sam may be in the process. The best way I found to wind them over is to pick them up for very short periods and talk sweet and soft to them. Too long and you will aggrivate them and they associate that with you picking them up. I will also give treats or some food in my hands. You may want to give it a shot.
post #3 of 7
Also, some cats don't like 'direct' attention. A couple of 'mistakes' my husband makes are
- he 'chases' them, he wants to pick them up so he goes to them and some of the cats don't like this and avoid him, others don't mind or like this... perhaps let them come to you (w/o dogs perhaps?)
- when he does hold said cats (we have 6 so 6 different personalities) he holds them beyond the amount of time they want to be held. My general rule for my cats is - if they want to leave I let them. I have gained the trust of one of our cats this way.
- also how do you treat them? Cerebus isn't really thrilled with my husband 'cuz he's been picking on her... He doesn't hurt her but holds her in a way she doesn't like - because she doesn't like it and so she avoids him (she's a bit of a priss, so she gets picked on. )
- ignoring them often works. My cats don't like to be ignored!

Good luck!

post #4 of 7
I once read that cats decide if they like you or not by your smell and the sound of your voice.

Now I think there may be something to this since my deseased cat Clouds used to hate me as a child, and hated my little sister as a child, but she loved adults, and especially adult men. I figured that maybe a higher pitched child's voice just annoyed her. As we got older she decided she liked us better.

Now all humans have a smell, but maybe you wear a perfume or use a strong soap that might irritate your kitties?

You could try to not "try so hard". You know, ignore them, and maybe they will come to you on their own.

Good luck!
post #5 of 7
I agree with illusion. Play hard to get! Talk softly and if Sam does come to you for affection, stop early and have him beg for more. My husband used food treats with one of our kitties that always ran away from him. That helped her to associate the food, which is pleasurable, with him. She has a long way to go, but it's a start.
I think kitties feel safer when someone doesn't invade their space. They can check you out so to speak. Play therapy is a good way to get closer to Sam, as is grooming. My kitty Niki doesn't liked to be picked up either, but loves to be groomed and will sit next to me on the couch. With time, I think Sam will come around.

Good luck and all my best in health and happiness.

post #6 of 7
:confused2 Hummmm, I might try this myself with Indy. Ever since I got another Kitty he wants to have nothing to do with me I've tried just about everything else to get back into his good gracies, why not this!
post #7 of 7
You didn't mention what breed your cat is, could he be at least part siamese? They sometimes bond with only one or two people and ignore others. It could also be a gender issue. I'm close to both of my boys but when it comes to my friends Elijah prefers the guys, and Atticus prefers the gals. Just the way they are I guess! Good Luck!
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