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Please Help Our Cat doesn't Love DH anymore

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
Right before we married my DH gave me a kitten, Trinity. She adored him! If something scared her (and back then everything scared her), she ran to him and took refuge on his shoulder. Then something just changed. I moved in after the wedding and she suddenly wouldn't have anything to do with him. She still will run if he tries to pet him. This has been going on for 4 years now. We just don't know what to do to fix it!?!?! He really wants to be able to pet her and for her to love him again? Anyone have any suggestions as to how to fix this??
post #2 of 15
I don't have an answer at this stage, only a few questions. Does she show any affection to you? Who feeds her & looks after her? Do you both try to give her lots of cuddles?
post #3 of 15
Thread Starter 
I feed her and she is affectionate with me. He tries to love on her but she will just run away from him. we have tried treats and toys but she doesn't typically play with toys. I just joined the forum and so we thought maybe someone here might have something that will work for them. Do you think it would help if he started giving her wet food once a day? She really love that for a treat. (but we don't usually give them wet food just dry)
post #4 of 15
It could help to let him take over some if not all the feeding duties. Cats are very food motivated, more often then not the way to their heart is through their stomachs.
post #5 of 15
I assume she's spayed, that can cause weird behavior (not being spayed, that is.)

4 years is a long time, lots of habits to break there. I would have your DH play with her with interactive toys, and give her treats - like once
a day. Also have him sit on the floor and have her come to him. Not him going to her. He's probably much bigger than you, so she sees him as threatening when he's standing up. Also maybe have him speak in a higher/softer voice.

That's all I can think of for now!
post #6 of 15
Thread Starter 
actually I am bigger than my DH. He is in a wheelchair. (and has been since way before we got the cat) that is why I do almost all of the feeding. Also why he can't get in the floor with her. I think maybe we will try him giving her a can of wet cat food every night and see how that works. There is only hope! thank you everyone! also I forgot to mention that Trinity is skittish with anyone who is new. once she gets used to a person she will come out of hiding, but if she doesn't trust you--then you won't even see her. She will be around the DH but if he talks to her or tries to pet her she will run off. He really wants them to be friends again and has been trying to been extra loving with her but she just doesn't seem to like him As far as toys go she really doesn't like any. It has been a year or two since she has really played with any of the toys we have. she did actually chase the laser pointer this week! I was shocked! Well, thanks for the suggestions! any other opinions or advice would be greatly appreciated!! and any vibes or prayer sent our way would be too! Thanks all!
post #7 of 15
Awww! Poor DH, for the kitty rejection, and for being in the wheelchair.
I agree with those asking if you feed her or does he! So you say she used to be closier to him than she is now? If so, then you will have to narrow it down
when the change occurred, and why the change occurred? I bet it is the food thing, because that is how all the cats I've ever know to be. my parents have one of my cats from whenever I was pregnant with Jace, (they took both of my cats then, long story) Stash, who was my baby, cause I was the one who fed her. she did love Marvin though for some reason? I just thought it was because he was a male? But whenever they moved to my parents, my mom was working full time, and my dad was home retired, he took care of her, I mean no one but him could touch her, she hisses at all of us if we try to pet her etc. But when my mom retired, and was home all the time, she started feeding her and boom, now Stash sleeps with her! Stash is quite mental She is a little touched! My dad actually takes her out for a walk at night like a dog or something! She was once my baby and now she doesn't like me either! Sounds like your baby might have a bit of feral in her!
Well you'll just need to go get him his own lit' baby kitty! One of different demeanor, one that will ride on that wheelchair everywhere he goes! Cats are all different for all different reasons! Tell hubby not to be too hurt!!!
Surprise him with his own baby one day! I believe it does have something to do with who feeds them! Cats also like women because of the softness in their voice. when I talk to mine, I even go up a pitch, dunno why I do this it's just habit! I'll keep ya'll in my prayers! Hope things turn around soon!
Love Ya!
Monique
post #8 of 15
Since he can't out the get down on the cat's level, would he be willing to try bribing her up to his? Maybe if he could get her to jump in his lap and use wet food fed from a spoon as a treat, or have her jump up beside him on a table or chair.
post #9 of 15
Thread Starter 
Thanks Monique!! I appreciate the prayers!! as far as surprising my DH with a kitty of his own--well, that would not be a happy day in this house! He likes to involved in any decisions as to adding to the animals in the household. However, he did "decree it, in his infinite wisdom" that he would give me another kitten for Christmas!! So we will be getting a boy this time and I hope that maybe he will love Paul. We started tonight with Paul giving the cats a can of wet food for a treat. We didn't notice any change yet, but I would have been surprised if one feeding fixed it! He already speaks to her in a higher and softer voice so I am hoping that the food will fix it. Although, Trinity may just be a lost cause. She is really high strung! and very untrusting. She even shies from me sometimes. I don't know if she has feral in her, but I do think she is inbred because she has thumbs! and I have seen her use them! maybe that is her problem--she is just crazy!! Well thanks again for all the advice --I will update if we see some changes!
post #10 of 15
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by strange_wings View Post
Since he can't out the get down on the cat's level, would he be willing to try bribing her up to his? Maybe if he could get her to jump in his lap and use wet food fed from a spoon as a treat, or have her jump up beside him on a table or chair.
We have this odd little exiled space of counter top in our kitchen and he did feed her a can of wet food on that. I know that I will really have to fight her off the counters now, but I would rather have to wipe down the counters more often and have them be friends! It went well, but not really much of a change yet. We will keep it up and let everyone know how it is going!
post #11 of 15
Well thank you for making me Laugh Out Loud! I needed that really bad!!!
I'm not to bad off then I got his name right!!! I already sent the gift and I put husband and not Paul!!! Sorry Paul!!! Won't happen again!!!

Monique
PS.....Heckon why I have that black cat in the pink box avatar wantabe? Where did that come from all of a sudden???
OK now it's not there.......OMG I am losing it!!! ha! ha
Now it's back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
post #12 of 15
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by carwashcats View Post
Well thank you for making me Laugh Out Loud! I needed that really bad!!!
I'm not to bad off then I got his name right!!! I already sent the gift and I put husband and not Paul!!! Sorry Paul!!! Won't happen again!!!

Monique
PS.....Heckon why I have that black cat in the pink box avatar wantabe? Where did that come from all of a sudden???
OK now it's not there.......OMG I am losing it!!! ha! ha
Now it's back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am not to sure what got you to laughing, but I am glad that I could be of service!
post #13 of 15
She's just crazy, she is enbred, she has thumbs, you've seen her use them!
That is what I was laughing about!
Monique
did you notice that black cat in the pink box avatar wantabe next to my avatar? What???????? Where????????? did that come from????????????? ok then!!!!!!!!!!what button did I push for that??????????????
post #14 of 15
The thumbs show up in cats, they are polydactyl Some people believe that makes them extra special. Loved how you decribed hubby's infinite wisdom I think you just need to keep working with her, I like the idea of the small piece of counter. Whatever you do, just keep loving her.

My mother has a crotchety old lady cat and we wouldn't trade her for the world
post #15 of 15
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonnie1965 View Post
The thumbs show up in cats, they are polydactyl Some people believe that makes them extra special. Loved how you decribed hubby's infinite wisdom I think you just need to keep working with her, I like the idea of the small piece of counter. Whatever you do, just keep loving her.

My mother has a crotchety old lady cat and we wouldn't trade her for the world
I wouldn't trade my Trinity for anything in this world!!! I love her so much!!
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