LOL. You a funny one.
And I want to say welcome to the board also!
It's called kneeding. There's various reasons why people think cats do this. It's completely normal, it can be a sign of happiness, being content.
Kittens do it to help get their mothers milk flowing, to stimulate it, I think it might actually be a little uncomfortuable for the mother.
You can trim you cats claws, PLEASE do not declaw (and I'm sure just about everyone else on this board will say the same thing.)
On your other thread I sent you some good websites to check out about general cat care, spay/neutering and declawing. I think declawing is barbaric and unneccisary.
Trimming your cats nails (front and/or back) can be done, and it does not cause them any pain, as long as you do it right. They also have a product out called SoftPaws, which places caps of plastic over the claws so they wont be sharp and dig into you.
If you would like more info on any of this, let us know .