My Homecare Cleaning Lady

natalie_ca

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Jul 2, 2006
Messages
21,136
Purraise
223
Location
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
My homecare cleaning lady was here last Monday. Again, it was 90 minutes of nonstop whining and complaining about her job, her alcoholic boyfriend, and more heavy hints about her preference for money instead of a gift.

When she arrived I had a bit of a headache from the stress of knowing that she was coming, plus from having slept funny (old neck injury and if I sleep in a bad position I get a headache from a pinched nerve). I told her that I had a headache. Well apparently I've told her that on other occasions when she was here because she yelled "AGAAIINNNN?!" And then she was off on her usual tangents!

She likes to talk so I tried to maneuver the conversation to something positive, but she maneuvered it back to whatever she was ranting about.

At one point she asked to use my telephone. She called the office to ask about her requested days off. Apparently her boss went on holidays until early December. Of course I had to hear all about how she had put in a request for days off and how once again her boss didn't give her a written confirmation about the requested days.

I said something and then she said that she had gotten the days off but according to their union contract they are supposed to get it in writing. I interupted and asked her what the big deal was whether it was in writing or not so long as she got the days requested?

Then she goes on about other policies that aren't followed such as a client sheet given to them when they get a new client. Instead they get a phone call with the particulars and they have to write it down themselves instead of it already being written down for them.

I interupted again and said "The important thing is that you get the information. It shouldn't make a difference how it's given. In fact it's probably better given on the phone because then if you have questions you can ask them.

She replied "That isn't the point! It's policy and they aren't following it!"

Then she mentioned that she has been with homecare for 9 years and has to go to twice yearly meetings. During the last meeting they discussed what they are to do for a certain "code" situations such as arriving at a client's house and the client isn't there, or cancelled but the worker wasn't notified etc. However she didn't say "etc", she was listing all of the examples. Again I cut her off and redirected her. She said that they are told to use a pay phone and call the office. Of course her being the cheap, money hungry person that she is she had to ask them where she is to get the 50 cents from to call the office and that she's not going to put money out of her pocket to make a work related phone call. She was told to put it on her expense report like she does with her automobile gas usage.

So I told her that if she is unhappy about the management then she should be complaining to her boss' boss, not to me, or she should look for another job if she is that unhappy there.

Of course I heard more about her other clients. No names, but practically everything else.

She told me that her boyfriend asked her what she wanted for Christmas and her Birthday. She told him she didn't want a gift.

I interupted her and said "You are always complaining that he never takes you anywhere or buys you anything and when he does ask you what you want you tell him nothing?!"

Then she said that she has no use for gifts and said she's not going to lie and let him give her something that she doesn't want or need and that she prefers money and that if he wants to get her something to just put some money in a card.

Then she pulls out a cell phone and says that she has a cell phone and it has lots of features but she wants a new one that is a little better.

I felt like asking her why she was asking to use my phone to call the office when she has a cell phone and could have called from her car! She's always using my phone to call her office and whenever she does get through I have to sit here and listen to her argue and ream out her boss!

I told her that it's the thought that counts when it comes to gift giving.

She replied something along the lines of "Why should I lie and pretend to like something that I didn't want and will never use. I'd rather have money so I can go out and buy myself something that I want!" I told her that I'm never ungreatful about gifts that I get, even if it's something that I don't use because it's the thought behind it not the gift itself that is important.

Then I tried to change the subject to something else and mentioned that I was invited to my Aunt's house for a Grey Cup party on Sunday. My mistake! I had to sit here and listen to her go on and on about how she's glad that Winnipeg's quarterback has a broken arm and how she can't stand the Bombers and how she is loyal to Saskatchewan.

Again I interupted and asked if she was going to a party. She told me her options, one of which was to go to her boyfriend's house to watch the game or stay at home and watch it alone. I told her that she should go to his house. Then she went off on a tangent about his drinking and why should she sit there and watch him and his daughter and his ex wife drink and then added "I may as well just come over to your house and watch the game with you!" At that point I got really quiet. I couldn't believe that she tried inviting herself over to my home to watch a football game. So I suggested that she either go to his house or stay home and watch it alone.

Today I was talking to my other homecare lady who helps me with a shower. I can't remember how it happened but I mentioned something about the other girl and she said that she knows the girl is very negative and complains alot. So I told her everything that has been going on and she encouraged me to call the office when the supervisor is back because this is an ongoing thing with her and I wouldn't be the first one to ever complain about her. She said that she thought of telling me but decided to let me find out for myself instead of prejudicing me against the woman.

Apparently they don't give the name of the client who complains. They just tell you that there is a complaint. I told her that my concern was that she would know it was me and that she is very confrontational and that if I wasn't assigned to someone else that she would go off on me about complaining about her.

But I think I will call and lodge a complaint about her because I can't stand that feeling of dred that I get when I think about her coming here and I will ask to be reassigned to someone else because of the likelihood that she will confront me about it at her next visit after having been "talked to."

I'm glad that I opened up to this other girl. I feel much better about it.
 

adymarie

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Oct 23, 2001
Messages
11,210
Purraise
1
Location
Toronto
Wow, she is putting you in an extremely uncomfortable position! I agree with your other home care worker, you should complain and ask to be re-assigned to another person.

Good luck!
 

pat

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jul 1, 2003
Messages
11,045
Purraise
58
Location
Pacific NW
I wouldn't let her step one foot back in your home. Simply tell them you want a new person this one isn't working out...if they insist on why, tell them.

At this point, you have this self-absorbed, manipulative, negative person who seems oblivious to what she's doing to the person she's working "for".

Okay, so yah, that's what I really think!
I am sorry she did this to you, hope your headache is gone soon.
 

krazy kat2

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 14, 2001
Messages
8,085
Purraise
41
Location
Somewhere in Georgia
I commend your ongoing patience with this pain in the neck. You are paying for her services, not to be her therapist, and she has no right to say some of the things she says to you. Her job is clearly defined, and she should do it quietly and efficiently. I can understand a few cordial sentences here and there, or questions if she needs to know how you want something done, but you have no need to hear about her crummy life.
If she does not like it, she should find another job, or just buck up and live with it.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #5

natalie_ca

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Jul 2, 2006
Messages
21,136
Purraise
223
Location
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Thanks


She's also an opportunist.


She had been living with a guy at one pointa and broke up with him 8 years ago. She told me that his daughter worked for Regional Housing (low rental housing) and managed to get her into the low rental housing program. She was given an air conditioned, 2 bedroom, garden-style apartment (apartment door opens to a hallway, but there is a patio door that opens to a small back yard with a patio). She doesn't even pay $300.00 per month for that apartment because it goes by a percentage of your annual income. Of which she purposefully keeps part-time and does work "under the table" to pad her income and she doesn't claim the extra money on her taxes. So while she makes more they can only charge her based on what she claims.

Apparently 3 years ago she got a letter from Regional Housing saying that they have done an audit of housing and found that she was 'over housed' and that being a single person she only qualifies for a 1 bedroom apartment.

She raised the roof on that and called around and lodged complaints and dug her heels in and refused to move. So she is allowed to live in an apartment that is meant for a family of 4. She practically lives with her boyfriend already, and he's been asking her to move in with him as he has a large house. However, she won't. She doesn't want to give up her apartment because she will never find another deal like the one she lucked into. If she moves from that apartment and needs to go back, they will move her to a 1 bedroom.

She hasn't missed a day of telling me about how little rent she pays for a 2 bedroom apartment that she deems nicer than mine.
 

pat

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jul 1, 2003
Messages
11,045
Purraise
58
Location
Pacific NW
What a toad...so she tries to make her clients feel envious of her? Karma's going to be a real *itch when it begins the payback she's due!
 

rapunzel47

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Jul 20, 2003
Messages
30,725
Purraise
8
Location
Lotus Land
Originally Posted by Pat & Alix

What a toad...so she tries to make her clients feel envious of her? Karma's going to be a real *itch when it begins the payback she's due!
Oh, ain't THAT the truth! You sure have a prize there, Linda. I definitely WOULD ask to be reassigned.
 

dragoriana

MajesticFloof
Top Cat
Joined
Aug 20, 2006
Messages
4,092
Purraise
543
Oh my god, you are so patient. If i had to work with her i would have slapped her by now, or worse!



You shouldn't take that crud and she certainly isn't being professional. I wonder how she got into that line of work in the first place.
 

tierre0

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 17, 2007
Messages
7,256
Purraise
1
Location
on the shores of Georgian Bay
Originally Posted by adymarie

Wow, she is putting you in an extremely uncomfortable position! I agree with your other home care worker, you should complain and ask to be re-assigned to another person.

Good luck!
Most definitely ask for her to be reassigned....However I would also suggest that you also tell her supervisor that she is not suited for a job such as the one she has. Support workers of any kind are suppose to be exactly that supportive, not a pain in the posterior as this woman seems to be.
 

lunasmom

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 7, 2005
Messages
8,801
Purraise
12
Location
Jersey Shore
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

She hasn't missed a day of telling me about how little rent she pays for a 2 bedroom apartment that she deems nicer than mine.
As unprofessional as it sounds....if I heard someone tell me that, I would've slapped them.

That's very rude and unprofessional of her. I agree with your other home care worker, I would file a complaint. I think you've been WAAAAYYY too nice in putting up with her.. I understand that there is a shortage of homecare workers, but still...if you're getting a headache just THINKING about her coming over, that's a good sign.

Good luck!
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #12

natalie_ca

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Jul 2, 2006
Messages
21,136
Purraise
223
Location
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Originally Posted by lunasmom

if you're getting a headache just THINKING about her coming over, that's a good sign.

Good luck!
Thanks


I've been under lots of stress lately and she's been really adding to it.
 

theimp98

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
May 24, 2006
Messages
11,427
Purraise
2
Location
elyria, ohio
Originally Posted by adymarie

Wow, she is putting you in an extremely uncomfortable position! I agree with your other home care worker, you should complain and ask to be re-assigned to another person.

Good luck!
i have to agree, i think its time
 

carolpetunia

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Oct 25, 2005
Messages
9,669
Purraise
17
Location
Plano, Texas
Yes, you need to insist that the agency give you someone who knows how to limit conversation to the work at hand. And you do not need to give her anything for Christmas -- her harping on that subject is unconscionable.

If I were in her kind of job, I think I would feel much more comfortable maintaining a professional demeanor, rather than presuming to behave as my client's buddy. If she can learn to limit her conversation to the work at hand, she may be able to continue in her line of work... but you should never have to deal with her again. You've paid your dues!
 

lunasmom

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 7, 2005
Messages
8,801
Purraise
12
Location
Jersey Shore
You know? I was thinking about this last night. She's harping on management that they aren't following protocol of the union (getting the stuff in writing and whatever you have not shared).

Yet, isn't it against protocol for her to accept gifts (according to your last post)? I agree with CarolPetunia: Skip the Gift.

If she inquires (which from the sounds of her she will), just say "well you've mentioned numerous times that people don't follow work at protocol and how much it irritates you. I'm simply following the protocol that you aren't suppose to accept any gifts."

 

crazyforinfo

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
May 26, 2006
Messages
6,773
Purraise
4
Location
Philly
Originally Posted by adymarie

Wow, she is putting you in an extremely uncomfortable position! I agree with your other home care worker, you should complain and ask to be re-assigned to another person.

Good luck!
I don't know how you put up with her for so long.
You don't need the added stress. I would call the office as soon as possible.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #17

natalie_ca

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Jul 2, 2006
Messages
21,136
Purraise
223
Location
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Originally Posted by Crazyforinfo

I don't know how you put up with her for so long.
You don't need the added stress. I would call the office as soon as possible.
I will be. Her boss is away on holidays until the 4th I think. So I have to put up with her at least once more before I talk to her boss.
 

gailc

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
May 18, 2004
Messages
11,567
Purraise
13
Location
Wisconsin
You have the patience of a saint!!!

I would have told her a thing or two about her attitude a while ago.

I agree with the others to call her mgr and have a discussion with them about her.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #20

natalie_ca

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Jul 2, 2006
Messages
21,136
Purraise
223
Location
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Her boss is back in the office on Monday so I called a little while ago and left a message on her voice mail to call me on Monday and that it was important.

I haven't cancelled my homecare cleaning for Tuesday yet. I will do that when I talk to her because I want to make it clear to her that I want to be assigned to someone else, and that I do not want her mentioning my name. In fact I want to tell her that instead of saying "we have received a complaint" that she make it sound like it has come from multiple sources ie: some complaints.

I feel really bad about complaining, but I just can't take it anymore and need to reduce my stressors.

On a side note, when I was out and about yesterday I bought my other homecare girl, the one who comes to help me with showers, a small gift. Nothing big, just a bottle of "Nivea Body Lotion". I am going to Walmart tomorrow and I'll look around for something else, maybe a box of nice chocolates and a card.

The other girl gets zippo because she is a whiney ungrateful, you know what!
 
Top