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I am going to meet "Shay"

post #1 of 26
Thread Starter 
http://search.petfinder.com/petnote/...?petid=9364431

She was cat tested this week and it turns out she is very cat friendly. I'm trying to arrange a time to meet her this weekend. Depending on where we meet her, we might just bring Sam and Spike with us during the first visit.

I know, I know, I need another dog like I need a hole in my head. DH and I rationalize it this way: Spike is 4 and has had hip dysplasia since he was a year old. He cannot keep up with Sam (Sampson) who runs circles around him. It has been our intuition that we will lose Spike long before we lose Sam, and Sam will not do well as a single dog. So better to bring another dog into our family now and have all of them very well adjusted before we lose Spike. I know this is years down the road, but still........

I'm not worried about Sam and Spike adjusting to a new dog. They have never met a dog that they didn't like and Sam is particularly partial to female dogs. Likewise I'm not concerned about the cats adjusting to another dog. The older ones have lived with 5 dogs at one point in their lives. The younger ones have witnessed enough visiting dogs in the house that they mostly ignore them.

So if Shay's personality is what I think it is, we'll be adopting her very soon. I have a strong positive sense about her. Let's hope my feelings are right.

So do we rename her as "Delilah" to compliment the name "Sampson"? Had Spike been a she, we had joked about that name.
post #2 of 26
She looks so sweet!

I hope the meeting goes well I like the name Delilah but not sure it suits her.

Good luck!
post #3 of 26
Awwwww Amy she's a little beauty! And hey, if you and DH can take another one into your home then go for it, no one here will think any different of you

I love her new name as well
post #4 of 26
Thread Starter 
I've been e-mailing back and forth with the rescue group this morning. We will meet her on Saturday at 12:30! We're plotting how to get our car-sick prone dogs over to the adoption site, which is an hour's drive away from here.

And yes, we did submit an application for her last weekend. I was told that this is a go as long as all of the personalities match.
post #5 of 26
How exciting! I hope she's everything you want!
post #6 of 26
Oh Amy look at those beautiful soulful eyes, what a gorgeous girl she is I hope everything is a perfect match.

Can you give the boys rescue remedy, would that help them with their car sickness?

Thats so exciting.... if all goes well you will be riding back home with 3 big dogs in the car I wish I lived with you guys!
post #7 of 26
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pami View Post
Oh Amy look at those beautiful soulful eyes, what a gorgeous girl she is I hope everything is a perfect match.

Can you give the boys rescue remedy, would that help them with their car sickness?

Thats so exciting.... if all goes well you will be riding back home with 3 big dogs in the car I wish I lived with you guys!
She does have soulful eyes! That is much of what drew me to her. The question is whether she'll turn those eyes on me. If so, it will be a fit. It might sound shallow, but you really can read a lot about how they focus their eyes. I'm adopting for life and it must work for her also!

Never thought to try Rescue Remedy for the boys. They ride OK in DH's car because when we fold the back seat down, it slants upwards towards the front. We'll take them in my car, but build up a slant with blankets. I think they get sick when they can't look out the windows while they are laying down.

Even if she is a perfect fit, we won't bring her home on Saturday. We have a cousin visiting on Sunday-Monday who we haven't seen in about 15 years, so we aren't going to be distracted by his visit. And I have a horribly busy work week next week so we'd have to leave her home unsupervised for most of the week. I'm going to try to take the following week off work and we'll bring her home next Saturday the 17th (if it works out).
post #8 of 26
What a pretty girl she is! But y'know, I think Shay is a beautiful name... I would keep it!

It's wonderful that you're doing this. You and your DH must have an ocean of love to give.
post #9 of 26
Shay is a doll! What lovely eyes! I hope she is a fit -- it sounds like a match made in heaven, actually.
post #10 of 26
She's so pretty! Oh, I really hope things turn out for all of you!
post #11 of 26
Thread Starter 
I sent these pictures to the rescue group yesterday when we were chatting back and forth. I wanted to show them how our dogs are treated, and of course if they couldn't tell by our application that we have an ideal place for Shay, the pictures would clinch it. Anytime I've ever mentioned our 2 acres of fenced yard to a dog rescue group, they get really excited.



And the big backyard that Shay would be able to romp in. This is about half of the portion of the yard that is actually fenced:



Yeah Carol, we have an over abundance of love in our hearts. And as we told the rescue group, we have the resources, the time, and the room in our hearts to adopt.
post #12 of 26
How exciting! I hope the meeting goes well.
post #13 of 26
Oh, Amy... your dogs look so happy... and your property is heaven!

If I can grow enough fur will you adopt me?
post #14 of 26
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolPetunia View Post
If I can grow enough fur will you adopt me?
Absolutely Carol!!
post #15 of 26
Shay is a beauty - I really hope the "meet" goes well.
We always thought my mom's Cheyenne was a Lab mix, because her coat was different from a Lab's, and her snout pointier. Last year I was at the annual Animal Fair, turned a corner, and found myself surrounded by "Cheyennes". It was a judging for Flat-Coated Retrievers, and when I showed Cheyenne's pictures around, everybody said that's what she was. She's one of the most affectionate dogs you could ever meet.
post #16 of 26
Thread Starter 
We just got back from meeting Shay. We were both disappointed because it didn't go how we were hoping it would be.

She was an owner turn in a high kill shelter about a year ago and was pulled by the rescue group. She's been in foster for a year with a woman who fosters a number of dogs, and has 8 of her own. Her description online stated that she was shy at first, but otherwise very well behaved.

She is shy, and clearly more shy with men than women. She warmed up to me quickly and it took over an hour for her to begin to show signs of warming up to Steve. She did pull her head back every time one of us reached out a hand to pet her. Probably a sign of abuse or neglect and that could be turned around with a little work. Not as bad as some of the dogs we've adopted in the past. That didn't really bother us.

This is what really put doubts in our heads about our meeting. She seemed almost oblivious to Sam and Spike, and they in return were pretty much oblivious to her. Every other dog they passed warranted the nose or butt sniff by ours. An hour after introductions, Spike finally walked over to her and gave a quick sniff. Another 30 minutes she returned the sniff to Spike. Sam and Shay never really sniffed each other.

I'm not sure how to interpret this. Yes, all of them were out of their element, but Sam/Spike still had interest with other dogs. Shay was also out of her element but didn't show much interest in any dog. Our goal is to give our boys a friend so this is an important issue for us.

Unless we tell her otherwise when she calls Monday night, the foster mom is going to drive Shay out to our house on Tuesday morning (1-1/2 hour drive). We've hoping that a calmer environment where they can all be off leash will give us a better understanding of how she would behave here.

So she hasn't been ruled out, but then again, she didn't win us both over. I'm more willing to try to make it work than my husband, but he is being pragmatic and wants her to fit with the pack, not just me. She did crawl into my lap after a while, but that wasn't enough to sway the decision.

And she's not 65 pounds. Probably more like 50.
post #17 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolPetunia View Post
What a pretty girl she is! But y'know, I think Shay is a beautiful name... I would keep it!
i'd probably keep the name, too - then all of the dogs would have 'S' names.
according to the link you posted, there's a 2-week trial period. maybe you should take her & see how she does in a better setting.
post #18 of 26
Well, that's disappointing, but maybe she'll do better in the calmer environment of your home. And your two dogs will probably be a lot more interested in her when she's in their territory.
I hope the next meeting goes well!
post #19 of 26
Oh my goodness, I'm so excited for you!!!
post #20 of 26
She's probably just overwhelmed, Amy. Here she is in a foster family, confused and depressed about being abandoned by her family, and just confronted by two strange humans, and two strange dogs. She doesn't know whom she can trust, or reach out to.
I don't know if this will help, but I can give you a couple of concrete examples. My husband didn't have pets as a child, and acquired quite a number when we married. There was a "getting to know you" period before the pets became "Daddy's babies", too. I tend to interact with animals right away, while my husband isn't pushy about it, and lets them come to him. I think it's funny that so many of them eventually became / have become "Daddy's girl/boy". Jamie is a prime example. I visited several times before I brought him home, and he was primarily exposed to females in his foster home. He was very shy around my husband at first, but is now very much "Daddy's boy" when my husband gets home from work, and insists on lying on top of him and cuddling. My sister adopted a rather old (10) terrier mix, and he was very standoffish with everybody except my youngest nephew. He never got near me when I visited. Due to legal complications (only 2 dogs per household allowed in that town now), he moved to my mom's house, and he just settled right in with her other dogs and cat, became incredibly affectionate with everybody, and now insists on following me everywhere when I visit, and sleeping in bed with me.

Shay might just blossom at your home.
post #21 of 26
Yes, she's probably just overwhelmed. She will probably do better once she's with you! Here's hoping all goes well!
post #22 of 26


What an incredible yard!!!! Gorgeous! I love the view of the pond (or is it a lake?) in back too. Amazing. You animals are very spoiled!
post #23 of 26
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by jcat View Post
Shay might just blossom at your home.
We have no doubt that she would blossom in our home. We've had fear submissive dogs turn around once we've built up their confidence. Our primary concern is actually her willingness to be playful with other dogs. Sam needs a playmate to romp with - Spike can't do it because of his hips. I don't want to take anything away from Spike, I think it would bring him some relief that he doesn't have to keep up with his brother.

I've consulted my friend, the dog listener, on this and she has witnessed this before. As she put it: "Ignoring is used by dogs if they are trying to establish leadership – as in they are the “alpha†& they set the rules especially by ignoring the bad behaviors. But they can also be in “freeze†mode where they do not feel that they can flee (flight mode) but they have not been pushed into fight mode. They will “freeze†& look like they are ignoring others." The dogs she has adopted that have responded in this way had very mixed results interacting with her other dogs.

So I'm about to call the foster mom and have a long talk with her about how Shay interacts with the other dogs in her care. If she is a loner, then we will simply look for a better fit with another dog. If she was just out of her element and there is a chance for interaction, then I'll ask that she bring her out to our home in the morning.
post #24 of 26
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Worriedmommy View Post
What an incredible yard!!!! Gorgeous! I love the view of the pond (or is it a lake?) in back too. Amazing. You animals are very spoiled!
It's called a lake but it's only 5 acres in size so I would consider it more a very large pond. We don't own it, it belongs to the sub-division and we just happen to have a home on the lake side.

Yup, our critters are spoiled rotten!
post #25 of 26
Usually when I have foster dogs that react the way you are talking Shay acted I send pics of them in my house, with the other dogs, cats, people just to show you how they really are. I hope things work out with her. Black dogs are so hard to find homes for.
post #26 of 26
She's gorgeous! good luck and I hope she works out for you and your family.
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