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It's Time to Say Goodbye

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
It's been two years since Abby left this world and crossed the Rainbow Bridge. But even seeing Molly for the first time brought up so many memories of such a wonderful kitten, and I feel that it's time that I take a huge step and admit that I loved this little girl and that she's gone. Sometimes it's easier to tell myself that she was a dream, as she was part of our lives for such a short period of time.

My husband and I got Abby a little over two years ago. We had been looking for a kitten, and none of the area shelters had *kittens*. For whatever reason, at the time we didn't want to adopt an older cat. Looking in the papers, we called several people, and we got either no answer from most, or other people had already homed their cats. Then we hit upon a sweet woman who was at the time "saddled" with a pedigree Persian cat and her mixed kitten. The mother had been left behind by the daughter when she went to college, and a stray had come in through the cat flap and impregnated her.

When I first saw Abby, she was amazing. Sitting on the back of a couch, just watching us. She didn't come to us -- only her mother, Bailey, did. We decided immediately to take Bailey, even though she hadn't initially been part of the bargain. We asked about her, and went home with her (free of charge, I might add, and she went to a great home. We loved her to death until we had to rehome her in order to move here to IN -- we couldn't keep our cats when that happened, sadly).

Abby and Bailey came home with us, and almost immediately we noticed that there was something different about Abby. She literally *never* stopped purring. She would sit across the room from us and pur. She'd get into our laps and pur. She'd sit on our shoulders and pur. She loved people, and exhibited a lot of the personality (and in fact physical) traits of a Ragdoll kitten. She was amazing.

We loved Abby to death, both my husband and myself. I would have moved heaven and earth to make her happy.

Then one day, she was gone. We don't know what happened, but she became sick so suddenly that there was no way that we could get her to the vet. Our car was broken down at the time and we couldn't drive her to the emergency care center. Within fifteen minutes of us realizing she was sick, she took her last breath in my arms -- her favorite place to be.

I will never, ever forget holding that kitten while she died. She was only nine months old.

I miss her to death to this day, and it's been a long time since I grieved for her. In the back of my mind, on that horrible day two years ago, I always thought that I would forget about her, and I didn't want to. We don't have any pictures of her (quite sadly), but I planted flowers on her grave. Though we don't live there any more, I feel better for that. She was buried by a stream -- Abby loved the water and loved to swim.

I worried that I'd forget her: Never. Two cats have come into my life and made that deep an impression in me in their time with me -- Abby and my black cat, Ramses, who disappeared into the night one night and never returned (we're *certain* he got adopted as a stray -- it had been apparent that somebody else was feeding him for some time, and was our own fault for not putting a tag on him).

I believe that Ramses, whether alive or not, brought Whisper into my life. The room mates who wouldn't let us bring Bailey with us immediately realized I couldn't live without my cats... And allowed me to bring Whisper into our home and our lives. I believe that Abby sent Molly to us -- I never would have "noticed" her as special if she didn't look like Abby. As for Reagan? She's not like any cat I've ever known, and she's one who's loving and giving nature will always be with me, even when she no longer can be.

I've needed to cry like this for a long time. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to do so.
post #2 of 8
Cats are such wonderful little creatures. They are so easy to get attached to and they leave their pawprints on our hearts. Cherish your memories.
post #3 of 8
Aww, reading your post made us teary eyed!
What you said about Abby is how we feel about our cats.
Abby was one lucky girl to have the both of you!
Thanks for sharing your story, it was so sweet
If you need anything at all - we are all here for you!
post #4 of 8
What a beautifully moving post...it's hard to say good-bye...Your little girl was sooo blessed to have had you in her brief, little, life and how blessed she is for passing being soooo loved...don't forget that---she won't-trust me sweet, she will never forget that!!

Hugs and *sniff*
post #5 of 8
I've said this a million times before..but it's worth saying again.

I believe with all my heart that our dear Maggie sent us here to buy this house so we could find and adopt Elliott...they're both huge white cats.

So I have no doubt in my mind that Abby sent Molly into your lives.
I believe that Abby is the one who made it so that your neighbor didn't take in Molly, she wanted you and your Husband to have her because she knows what good kitty parents you'd be for sweet little Molly.
post #6 of 8
Oh my word, i'm so pleased i'm not at work reading your story of Abby because my face is a mess

Play happliy at the bridge Abby sweetpea

post #7 of 8
Thread Starter 
I miss her so much With our cats who ran away it's easier because I'm sure that Ramses got adopted, and Sophie was happier outside anyway. We never found "remains" of them, so at least I can tell myself that they are alive, well, and happy.

What makes it *so* hard is that she breathed that last breath in my arms. I had realized only seconds before that she was dying, and I said to my husband, "She's dying, we need to call a vet." And then that last breath. I told him, "she's not dying anymore. She's crossed the rainbow bridge."

It was forget-me-nots that we planted on her grave. I was so afraid that I would forget her, and I don't know why. This is a kitten who will always be in my heart and soul, until we can meet again at the Rainbow Bridge.
post #8 of 8
Thread Starter 
Oddly, right at this moment I'm having a really tough time dealing with the emotions regarding losing Abby. It's strange, because I hadn't "felt" anything about it since about three months after she passed, and now I'm a complete emotional wreck.

I grieved for about a year and a half after Ramses ran away, and I'm thinking that I simply didn't allow myself to grieve for long enough with Abby, and the feelings got suppressed, only to be released now, when I'm in my emotional, pregnant state. It's good to cry, I suppose, but jeez... This is getting ridiculous when I can't sleep, in part because of grieving!
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