Affectionate w/ me, scared of everyone else

I have a DLH that is -extremely- affectionate with me. Follows me around, looks up and meows at me until I pet him. I can pick up him up, hold him on his back like a baby - as long as he's being touched, he doesnt care.

However, this cat is deathly afraid of everyone else. Anyone so much as walks in the door, and he's under the couch, and does not come out until the person leaves. I've pulled him out (gently) before, and tried to hold him on my lap and pet him while another person sits across the room, or even in another room, but he squirms until I let him go and he disappears under the couch again.

If someone comes in the front door, he hides -in- the covered kitty litter box until they leave.

Is there anything I can do about this? Or should I just enjoy the cat loving me, and explain to people that one of my cats is 'invisible'.

(this is what the puffball looks like )

http://lh4.google.com/waxlight/RyTb-...s400/puff4.jpg

Simply didn't get enough socialization as a kitten. Whether from leaving his litter mates and mother too early or not enough socialization with people.

I've had many cats the same way, and currently have one like that. Tomas likes DH and I, but could be mistaken for a semi feral with anyone else, to the point that he will growl, hiss, and even attempt to bite if he can't get away from the stranger (vet visits ).

It's not that odd of a behavior, really. Cats are small animals that's first line of 'defense' against a bigger animal is to run and hide.

It might be that he is a Gamma cat. This type is described here:

http://wayofcats.blogspot.com/2006/1...pes-gamma.html

Once they have their people, they don't want to meet more. It takes them so long to evaluate their situation with new people that, unless they live there, new people will never pass the process.

My Puffy is eleven, and is still that way, though amazingly, he accepted my husband right away. People living in the house fall into a different category, and get studied enough for a Gamma to feel comfortable.

Click here to meet Puffy:
http://wayofcats.blogspot.com/search/label/Puffy

The two cats my Mom took from the feral litter were like that with her. They lived behind her stove for a month. Now they are both like your puffball and hide when anyone except my mother comes to the door or - heaven forbid - inside.

My daughter was really hurt when she'd visit and they'd hide. But about two months ago I was talking to Mom and she said the cats had both come out of hiding and "sat and watched" Heather when she visited. She visits often enough for the cats to have gotten used to her. Now she can pet one and actually pick up the other one.

Your devoted kitty might become friendly with people who visit enough to become "known" - but don't try to force the issue in any way, let her take it at her own pace. She might remain an invisible kitty, true, but she might not - but she won't do anything but stress herself out if you or anyone else tries to get her out of hiding when she wants to hide.

Oliver's kind of like this, but not that extreme: I am obviously his favorite and he can be protective of his mama (ie: if I'm givin lovin to my black lab in front of him, he'll often come up and bop her in the butt like "hey! my mama! back off!" or if he and I are on the bed and the dog comes in for a visit, he'll prowl the edges of the bed, boppin her so she can't get to me)... but he is pretty well socialized in that when the doorbell rings, he's there to see who's come to visit, but usually once he's seen who it is, if it's not someone he's already used to, he'll go hide... it took him awhile to warm up to my parents too, but now he'll rub up on and snuggle with them and if I'm away, he's like best buddies with my dad which is crazy... but if he's got a choice, I'm his #1... could just be cuz I'm his "primary caregiver" (ie: provides the food and clean potty) or cuz I'm the one who rescued him from the streets... but he definitely picks and chooses who he finds "acceptable" and it's not just anyone who walks through the door haha

Originally Posted by waxlight

I have a DLH that is -extremely- affectionate with me. Follows me around, looks up and meows at me until I pet him. I can pick up him up, hold him on his back like a baby - as long as he's being touched, he doesnt care.

However, this cat is deathly afraid of everyone else. Anyone so much as walks in the door, and he's under the couch, and does not come out until the person leaves. I've pulled him out (gently) before, and tried to hold him on my lap and pet him while another person sits across the room, or even in another room, but he squirms until I let him go and he disappears under the couch again.

If someone comes in the front door, he hides -in- the covered kitty litter box until they leave.

Is there anything I can do about this? Or should I just enjoy the cat loving me, and explain to people that one of my cats is 'invisible'.

(this is what the puffball looks like

)

http://lh4.google.com/waxlight/RyTb-...s400/puff4.jpg

Click to expand...

awwww puffball is soooo precious!! and yes, murphy is EXACTLY the same way! it's frustrating at times because i want everyone to see how awesome he is (not just looking but he's got the most hilarious and endearing personality!!) but it just doesn't happen.

we recently moved and prior to that, didn't do a lot of entertaining at home because the place was sooo tiny. so besides the occasional maintenace man or drop-in neighbor, we didn't have people over very often. when someone did stop by though, he was under the bed. now we have a new bed that he doesn't fit under but he found a new hiding place in the master closet on the top part of a built-in dresser. at least now people can come and say hello to him... he doesn't really like it but he knows that's his safe place...so he stays put and allows them to gawk and coo at him for a few minutes lol.. lots of my visitors are children though so of course, they want to pet him. i just tell them murphy's real shy so be very gentle... i can tell when he's had enough or if he's not in the mood because he makes a face and then the petting session either ends quickly or just doesn't happen so he doesn't hiss or bite anyone. considering how deathly shy he is around others, i consider even that limited bit of intimacy a major coup. that NEVER would have happened in the old place... so there might be hope for puffball. do you have a lot of visitors? i think besides being weened from their mommy's too soon sometimes our own habits might foster that kind of behavior. if puffball is used to it just being y'all, that might contribute to it because i have noticed with murphy that the more people we have over, the better he's getting. baby steps but still, at least he's making a little progress.

we just had houseguests 2 weeks ago who stayed for 4 nights and he eventually came out... a little! but he was very cautious. he knew they weren't going to hurt him, he's just not socialized (he was removed from his cat mommy to soon too).

ironically, the one time he does seem slightly ok about coming out is when it's someone who couldn't give a flip about him! lol... whenever i have workmen here or the maintenace men or my contractor and his various crews, (we've been remodeling since april) murphy's curiousity gets the best of him because they're working and making lots of noise. he wants to see what's going on and will sit there watching them (at a safe distance). he also instinctively knows they are busy and aren't going to annoy him with unwanted attention lol.

the other day, this was funny, i had "the geek squad" here to work on my office computer and brave lil murphy man came out and sat in the hall directly outside the door of my office watching the computer man. then, unexpectedly, (to us both! lol) mr. geek squad turns his attention away from the computer, looks at murphy and says something very affectionate and tried to get him to come... murphy bolted! lol scaredy cat!

good luck with puffball... i know how it feels! you just want everyone to see how awesome your baby is.