Jeff Foxworthy on Chicago

This is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Chicago

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in Chicago.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Chicago.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Chicago.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in Chicago.

If 'vacation' means going anywhere south of I-80 for the weekend, you live in Chicago.

If you measure distance in hours, you live in Chicago.

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, you live in Chicago.

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Chicago.

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in Chicago.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in Chicago.

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you live in Chicago.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in Chicago.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in Chicago.

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in Chicago.

If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly', you live in Chicago.

If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your
Chicago friends & others, you live or have lived in Chicago.

And I'll add: if you post them on TCS to share with the Chicago folks that wander through here, you live or have lived in Chicago. Guilty as charged!

Amen!! I lived there for three years... All except the snowblower (lived downtown, didn't need one), I can SOOOOO relate to.

Now that I'm back on the west coast, I laugh every time i see people bundled up in coats and scarves and hats... and it's only 40. HA!

Amanda

20 years and counting!

I love Jeff Foxworthy's humor. My fave 2 redneck jokes of his:

1. If you have a family portrait drawn by a courtroom artist, you might be a redneck.

2. If you're looking forward to your upcoming family reunion as a chance to meet women, you might be a redneck.

Question: Does Chicago have rednecks? Just wondering!

I don't live in Chicago and never had but those where still funny. I love Jeff Foxworthy.

Originally Posted by clixpix

20 years and counting!

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I lived up there for 30 years. I thought everyone measured distance in hours!

How far is it from Crystal Lake to Lockport? Oh, about 2 hours.

How far is it from downtown to Lisle? Depends on the time of day. Could be 30 minutes, could be an hour and a half.

I still measure distance by time!

I've heard quite a few of those applied to Upstate New York too. Must be sorta similar places to live in!

Alot of those also pertain to living here in Ontario

Originally Posted by MoochNNoodles

I've heard quite a few of those applied to Upstate New York too. Must be sorta similar places to live in!

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Yes, they are... although Upstate NY gets more snow. I was in Syracuse for two years before moving to Chicago. Now that's where I did more than my share of shoveling.

**takes shower after shoveling three feet of snow off driveway and brushing off car... gets dressed and comes back out to head to work**
"Wait a minute... I just shoveled this driveway a half hour ago!! How can there be another *bleeping* foot of snow? It wasn't even SNOWING when I walked back inside!"

Yup... that's how life was in Syracuse. Life in the Snow Belt.

Amanda