Anniversary

rachelh1018

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So yesterday was me and my boyfriend's five year anniversary. He said we couldn't go out last night to dinner because he had midterms today. That was fine... Today he called me at work and said that we should go to the movies tonight to see a movie he has been wanting to see. He finds out that that movie wasn't what he expected and was disappointed. So I thought.. why not just go out to dinner tonight to celebrate? He texted me back and said that we didn't have reservations and it would probably be a long wait. I texted him and said would you like to go if I can get us reservations? He said that it was up to me.
He was all excited to go see that movie tonight, but heaven forbid I think of an alternative. It's always about him. I always go do stuff with him even though I don't want to do it and I'm nice about it!!!
I just wanted to go to a fancy dinner to celebrate our five years together. He acted like he didn't want to go. He always does this to me!!! So I guess we aren't even going to celebrate.
 

luvmy2cats

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Sorry to hear that.
I would tell him how you feel. Sometimes men are ignorant and don't realize they're being insensitive.
 

arlyn

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Aww I'm sorry hon

Don't feel too bad though, guys honestly don't mean to be like that.
Even if you don't celebrate, you've been together 5 years, that alone speasks volumes
 

natalie_ca

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Originally Posted by rachelh1018

He always does this to me!!!
I'm sorry that you are upset


Your boy friend obviously takes you for granted and doesn't seem to respect you.

I learned long ago that we dictate the scope of how people treat us. Your boy friend knows that you will always be there regardless of how he treats you, so he keeps on treating you the same way, with no respect.

Start making yourself less available to him. Don't always be "available" when he wants to see you. Tell a white lie and tell him you have plans (but don't say what they are), and even if you don't have plans go out anyway. See a movie by yourself, or go to a friend's house etc. If he asks about where you are going, what you are doing etc, be vague.

I know it sounds like "games", but it will make him open his eyes up and make him see that your life doesn't revolve around him.
 

catlover19

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My boyfriend is the same way sometimes. We had our 5 year anniversary in July and all he wanted to do was sit around. I think we ended up going to dinner though.

Guys are like that sometimes, I have just learned to deal with it.
 

goldenkitty45

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IMO I think you both need to re-evaluate your relationship. Is this the person you REALLY want to be spending time with 10 yrs from now?

Be thankful you are not married - it would be harder to get out of the relationship. Any kids involved?
 
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rachelh1018

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It was just a misunderstanding.
We talked and he only said it was up to me because he thought I really wanted to go and didn't want to say no. He said that he was tired and thought that a movie sounded nice until later in the day when he got sleepy. He held me and kissed me. Everything is fine now.
 

calico2222

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I'm glad everything worked out. Men are terrible communicators sometimes, but we love them anyway. If it makes you feel any better, hubby and I spent our 2nd wedding anniversary at home. I did cooked his favorite dinner...then cleaned up afterwards...then we just watched TV. Nothing fancy, but it doesn't always have to be. Being together is what counts.

BTW, congrats on five years!!!!
 

capt_jordi

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OOO I know how you feel! Gary and I have almost been together for 5 years and sometimes I could just smack him! LOL! But I love him!
Guys just dont understand how to talk sometimes!
Glad everything worked out!
 

jugen

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Glad your anniversary worked out for you.

If it's any consolation, after we were married, Hubby wanted to work on our first anniversary. I told him to go ahead but not to bother coming home after. Needless to say, he got the hint and we went out to a nice restaurant, and a movie. He's never asked if he can work on our anniversary since. That was in 04. Men can be thick skulled sometimes.
 

lillekat

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I agree fully with natalie_CA
And when all else fails, women always have the "I'm washing my hair" excuse to fall back on!!
There are a lot of things a man really HAS to be TOLD about, simply because the don't think the same way as we do, and they don't realise that there are some things they say or do can upset or annoy us. They communicate with women almost as well as North and South Korea. But even THAT looks to be redeemable! So there is hope for us all!


But it's nice that it all worked out for you both
Maybe your 6 years will be even better
 
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