Originally Posted by peachytoday
Good for her. It is her body, her husband had already banked the semen. Go for it.
What was she going to do? Wait for another man. She was forty. By the time you meet someone, get to know each other, wait for the health reports it would take time. Or use anonymous sperm? At least this way she can tell her son what kind of man his father was.
As someone who is trying to get pregnant at 40 I know it can be hard. So I would actively support her if she asked. Otherwise it is just her personal business whether to have the child or not.
Originally Posted by Ping
I have no problem with this. The husband banked his sperm for a reason ,in case he came back infertile, so that one day he and his wife could have a baby. When he died in the war the wife decided to carry on with what they had obviously planned to do in the future. So in my mind even tho he did not say that day she could use it there is implied consent there.
On the note of the child growing up without a father, well thats nothing new in this country. Does anyone have issues with women continuing their pregnancy when they became pregnant before deployment and then become widows? I mean that child will not know his or her father. Or what about the women who get pregnant and the father disappears, or they use a sperm bank, or when they adopt when they are single. Are these problems as well. Should all these women wait until marriage before having kids?
Thankyou ladies!! You two have made some wonderful points!
I can totally understand why this woman chose to do that and i support it! Colin and I have already had a similar discussion. He was in the navy for 8 yrs and right now is an inactive reserve- if something happens and he is to be called up- we want to bank his sperm. The reason for us is that I have PCOS- i do NOT have years and years to have a child- i only have a few years left to even attempt it to be honest. My doctors have told me that i will need a complete hysto. in a few years (i'm 22 now and we're talking about by the time i'm 28 or so depending on how much my PCOS worsens). I want to be a mother- i want it with every beat of my heart- i would never want to loose that opportunity- he agrees and has said the same thing about wanting to be a father. But we have also discussed what he would want if her were to pass on and still have his sperm banked- and he has already said he hoped i'd go on to try in vitro and have a baby because it's something that means the world to both of us. So yes- i understand why this woman wanted to do this and i support her!
I would never want to miss out on having a child because we had to wait or because when he was deployed- he got exposed to something that would make it too dangerous for us to try and concieve- so i see a reason for it and i support it 100%. Many people think women can wait to have kids because technology has made it possible for some to concieve later in life- BUT not EVERY woman has that kind of luck- many who wait too long find out they're unable to concieve at all- i don't want to wait forever, even if it would mean i'd have to be a single mother. My child would be raised in a loving home and would be surrounded by wonderful friends and family -so i know i would have everyone's support- sure it'd be hard- but it would be worth it for me!
If for some reason my fiance should ever be deployed again (And i pray to God it never happens)- we will certainly do the same thing as this woman chose to do. It is the right decision for us.