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I moved out - Page 2

post #31 of 44
I havent read the whole thread but all i can say is FINALLY!!!!!!!!

I know we havent talked much, but after reading all of your threads i just couldnt wait to hear for you to finally move out, you are an independant woman, you are devoted to your work and cats and you sure will be able to live in the real world, what your family has shown you so far is not the real world, it looked like they had caged you up and tried to prevent all the wonderful things in life that could come accross it!

I admire you for finally taking the first step, it will be hard at first managing all the bills and stuff, but it does get alot better! Plus its your freedom and you can finally do what ever you like in your own space!

Good luck!
post #32 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tavia'smom View Post
I do feel bad cause I love my dad but it was making him miserable too cause he was caught in the middle of me and Terri.
You are a better person than I too still feel that way about your father. I still haven't let either of my parents back in enough to actually say I 'love' them, though I do wish the best for them in their lives and don't hate them.

I'm glad you got out of that situation, it takes guts to finally say "ENOUGH!". Never ever let anyone guilt trip you. If someone has so little respect for you that they would use your feelings against you to try to hurt you, then there's obviously nothing to feel guilty for.
post #33 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tavia'smom View Post
My sister sent me a message telling me how I will never make it in the real world and how horrible I am for leaving my dad and I feel awful but I know in the long run it will probably be for the best.
Let that remark go over your head, because she's putting you down and helping to give you a low self esteem of yourself

Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
I am concerned that your father may take his anger out on them and do something to them in order to gain the upper hand over you to get you to go back there.
That's my concern as well
post #34 of 44
Good luck honey You've gotten a lot of good advice. Be ready for the guilt trip, the anger, abusers can really get out of control when their victims start to leave.

As for your sister, sounds like you are better off getting some space between the two of you. There are usually three strategies when one is in an abusive home: fight back, lie down and die, or become an abuser yourself. It sounds like she has chosen the third option.
post #35 of 44
Give your cats some catnip. You'll be surprised how quickly they begin to brave things with a little catnip.
post #36 of 44
Good for you its way past time. You deserve a better life then you have been living. Don't let your dad or sister make you feel guilty.Your sister finally will have to take some responsibility into dealing with your dad its not all up to you!
What do you have to be guilty about? Growing up means moving on in life getting a job and your own place. You have lived way to long with this mental abuse going on. You can and will make it on your own. At first it will be rough but in time things will get better. Try and step back and not have so much contact with your dad and sister for abit. Don't even bother and replying to your sisters guilt trip emails delete them and forget them..Shes just trying to make you feel bad. She should be supporting you in your decision..After all she has moved out so then shes just as guilty as you..
post #37 of 44
May I make a suggestion? Don't go back for your clothes alone. Bring a friend. Maybe bring a police officer. Abuse is abuse whether it is verbal or physical. And often verbal abuse will escalate to physical when the abuser is pushed into a corner. You just pushed them into a corner. Take EVERYTHING in one trip. Maybe a friend can store some stuff for you.
post #38 of 44
I can't believe I missed this post. that everything works out. Your kitties will settle in, it may take a bit though. And congratulations on your new kitty.

I agree with the others--take a friend or 2 when you get your stuff. And have your friend ready to dial 9-1-1 if necessary. I helped a friend move out from an abusive situation, we did it all in one day.
post #39 of 44
Oh goodness, I am SO happy you are out of that situation! It just sounds so awful. I can't even imagine being surrounded by so much negativity from my own family. It would destroy me and it sounds like it came close to doing that to you. Hang in there, you are doing something that takes a LOT of strength! You are a kitty hero, it was your love for cats that saved you from those awful people.

It sounds like you are standing firm on staying away from the house. Just make sure you don't allow your guilt to drag you back there. If you ever feel like you have to go back come post here and we'll all talk you out of it, lol!

Many many hugs and good vibes. Be safe when you go back to the house bring a friend or two and get everything that you can, the most valuable(emotioanlly) first so they can't take advantage of your absence.

You can do this! You can do this. You are a strong person and the incredible freedom you will feel from relying on yourself will make you so happy. Keep us updated!
post #40 of 44
I am not sure why you feel guilty. There is no guilt in getting away from a bad situation.
post #41 of 44
Gosh, I'd sure feel better if we heard from her... I hope everything is okay...
post #42 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by krazy kat2 View Post
I am not sure why you feel guilty. There is no guilt in getting away from a bad situation.
Its still her family though..I understand the guilt. I lived with it with family too unfortunately. Moved out when I was 16 because of it.

Gail, I am so happy you are getting out of that negative situation...you are very strong. I know how hard it is
post #43 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by littleraven7726 View Post
I can't believe I missed this post. that everything works out. Your kitties will settle in, it may take a bit though. And congratulations on your new kitty.

I agree with the others--take a friend or 2 when you get your stuff. And have your friend ready to dial 9-1-1 if necessary. I helped a friend move out from an abusive situation, we did it all in one day.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweets View Post
May I make a suggestion? Don't go back for your clothes alone. Bring a friend. Maybe bring a police officer. Abuse is abuse whether it is verbal or physical. And often verbal abuse will escalate to physical when the abuser is pushed into a corner. You just pushed them into a corner. Take EVERYTHING in one trip. Maybe a friend can store some stuff for you.
those and a side note.. if you cant afford being on your own DO look into some help ... It wont be long before your on both feet
post #44 of 44
Gail I just saw this thread. I hope things are going well, I wish only the best for you! You can make it on your own! Please let us know how you are doing.
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