I moved out

You all didn't know this but I was in such a bad spot with myself that I was thinking of suicide. And so maybe this was God's way of getting me out before it was too late. I do feel bad cause I love my dad but it was making him miserable too cause he was caught in the middle of me and Terri. And that just made it worse. But he caused this years ago by making a differance in the two of us. He shouldn't have made a differance in us and maybe we wouldn't be were we are at now and maybe I wouldn't be moving like I am.

Originally Posted by Tavia'smom

You all didn't know this but I was in such a bad spot with myself that I was thinking of suicide. And so maybe this was God's way of getting me out before it was too late. I do feel bad cause I love my dad but it was making him miserable too cause he was caught in the middle of me and Terri. And that just made it worse. But he caused this years ago by making a differance in the two of us. He shouldn't have made a differance in us and maybe we wouldn't be were we are at now and maybe I wouldn't be moving like I am.

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How old are you again?

Don't let him control you like this. People who try to control others are in fear of losing control of themselves!

Well confratualtions on your new kitten first of all.

As for your living situation why does your sister have to decide how you live your life??

Stand firm with your Dad and your sister and you know we are here for you.

you did that right thing. There was no reason to put up with the way you were being treated.

your kitties will be fine in a couple of days, just give them time to get used to it.

I think you are doing great! It sounds like you and a little kitten might have saved each other! You are getting great advice here - you are stronger than you think!

Well I think you've made a fantastic decision! I know it's hard but I do applaud you for taking that step!

Sometimes all it takes is one extra push to get going towards something better, and I think you've done it! And like others have said, verbal abusers will try to put you on a guilt trip, but that's because then they will need to find someone else to abuse! Please don't let yourself be thier verbal punching bag. You are better than that and deserve better than that!

I'm just posting to offer my support. I think you absolutely did the right thing. It sounds like your sister tried to beat you down because she didn't want to have to deal with your dad. I could be wrong, but if she's trying to give you a guilt trip about moving...what is it to her, except now SHE needs to step up.

My parents weren't abusive, verbally or physically, but mom definitely used the guilt trip thing. Everytime I wanted to move out, I was told I couldn't handle it...I couldn't afford it...I was much better where I was, and she would throw in her and my dad's realtionship and how bad it was...he ignored her, he was always angry...etc. I took me until I was 29 to realize the only way I was going to be able to leave was to do something drastic, so I moved to Guam. Sometimes drastic is the only way to go.

You will be amazed at good living your own life feels. It will be hard at first, but it is soooo worth it! Just stay strong and live for YOU! Don't let them guilt you into something that you don't want. Believe me, I know how hard it can be, but You come first!

good for you, Gail, this is the best decision you could have made for yourself! sometimes we have to hit rock bottom before we can rise up again you are a caring a loving individual who deserves to have people who care about and support you in her life- your father and sister were NOT those kind of people. Stay strong Gail, it can only get better

Oh Gail, you are strong, smart, you can do this! Don't let them guilt you back into that abusive situation. Verbal abuse is abuse....plain & simple.

In the long run, you're better off away from there. And remember, we are here for you, always.

Is there some place you can take the other animals? Maybe have someone foster them, or perhaps adopt them out to new forever homes?

I am concerned that your father may take his anger out on them and do something to them in order to gain the upper hand over you to get you to go back there.

I havent read the whole thread but all i can say is FINALLY!!!!!!!!

I know we havent talked much, but after reading all of your threads i just couldnt wait to hear for you to finally move out, you are an independant woman, you are devoted to your work and cats and you sure will be able to live in the real world, what your family has shown you so far is not the real world, it looked like they had caged you up and tried to prevent all the wonderful things in life that could come accross it!

I admire you for finally taking the first step, it will be hard at first managing all the bills and stuff, but it does get alot better! Plus its your freedom and you can finally do what ever you like in your own space!

Good luck!

Originally Posted by Tavia'smom

I do feel bad cause I love my dad but it was making him miserable too cause he was caught in the middle of me and Terri.

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You are a better person than I too still feel that way about your father. I still haven't let either of my parents back in enough to actually say I 'love' them, though I do wish the best for them in their lives and don't hate them.

I'm glad you got out of that situation, it takes guts to finally say "ENOUGH!". Never ever let anyone guilt trip you. If someone has so little respect for you that they would use your feelings against you to try to hurt you, then there's obviously nothing to feel guilty for.

Originally Posted by Tavia'smom

My sister sent me a message telling me how I will never make it in the real world and how horrible I am for leaving my dad and I feel awful but I know in the long run it will probably be for the best.

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Let that remark go over your head, because she's putting you down and helping to give you a low self esteem of yourself

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

I am concerned that your father may take his anger out on them and do something to them in order to gain the upper hand over you to get you to go back there.

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That's my concern as well

Good luck honey You've gotten a lot of good advice. Be ready for the guilt trip, the anger, abusers can really get out of control when their victims start to leave.

As for your sister, sounds like you are better off getting some space between the two of you. There are usually three strategies when one is in an abusive home: fight back, lie down and die, or become an abuser yourself. It sounds like she has chosen the third option.

Give your cats some catnip. You'll be surprised how quickly they begin to brave things with a little catnip.

Good for you its way past time. You deserve a better life then you have been living. Don't let your dad or sister make you feel guilty.Your sister finally will have to take some responsibility into dealing with your dad its not all up to you!
What do you have to be guilty about? Growing up means moving on in life getting a job and your own place. You have lived way to long with this mental abuse going on. You can and will make it on your own. At first it will be rough but in time things will get better. Try and step back and not have so much contact with your dad and sister for abit. Don't even bother and replying to your sisters guilt trip emails delete them and forget them..Shes just trying to make you feel bad. She should be supporting you in your decision..After all she has moved out so then shes just as guilty as you..

May I make a suggestion? Don't go back for your clothes alone. Bring a friend. Maybe bring a police officer. Abuse is abuse whether it is verbal or physical. And often verbal abuse will escalate to physical when the abuser is pushed into a corner. You just pushed them into a corner. Take EVERYTHING in one trip. Maybe a friend can store some stuff for you.

I can't believe I missed this post. that everything works out. Your kitties will settle in, it may take a bit though. And congratulations on your new kitty.

I agree with the others--take a friend or 2 when you get your stuff. And have your friend ready to dial 9-1-1 if necessary. I helped a friend move out from an abusive situation, we did it all in one day.

Oh goodness, I am SO happy you are out of that situation! It just sounds so awful. I can't even imagine being surrounded by so much negativity from my own family. It would destroy me and it sounds like it came close to doing that to you. Hang in there, you are doing something that takes a LOT of strength! You are a kitty hero, it was your love for cats that saved you from those awful people.

It sounds like you are standing firm on staying away from the house. Just make sure you don't allow your guilt to drag you back there. If you ever feel like you have to go back come post here and we'll all talk you out of it, lol!

Many many hugs and good vibes. Be safe when you go back to the house bring a friend or two and get everything that you can, the most valuable(emotioanlly) first so they can't take advantage of your absence.

You can do this! You can do this. You are a strong person and the incredible freedom you will feel from relying on yourself will make you so happy. Keep us updated!

I am not sure why you feel guilty. There is no guilt in getting away from a bad situation.