I screwed up the introduction! PLEASE HELP!!!

I have a 6 1/2 month old boy (not neutered yet) kitten and now have a 8 week old kitten (another boy). I didn't follow how I was suppose to (keep them separate for a bit etc).

I introduced them within minutes of bringing them together! WORST DECISION EVER! My 6month is extremely aggressive with the little guy which I understand why. The little one tries to take him on or play with him (he is use to playing w/ big cats) but it always end up with my big cat biting the little one! i separate them and put them in different rooms. I try to be there for the old one to make sure he 'feels' loved and not neglected. His attitude toward me have changed but this morning he was being 'cute and cuddly' but only when the little one isn't around.

But the good things I have seen is: 6month shares his food, they even ate together & they both slept in the same bed with me together last nite except at 4:45am hell broke lose but at 6:51 they called it a truce and ate from the same bowl! I was teary eyed lol.

I'm thinking of sending my 6 month to my parents for a week til he gets neutered & then maybe then it will be easier to get them integrated? good idea? or bad?

any thoughts?

it's only been 24 hours but hell is breaking lose and I live in a 1-bedroom apartment so i can't keep them separate all the time!

I'd keep one in the bathroom for a few days and restart the introductions all over.

You can sprinkle them both with cornstarch baby powder, or try a dab of vanilla extract on their nose/butt to smell the same.

And I'm assuming they are both neutered? If not, that's part of the problem.

I'm a strong advocate of intros and frankly I don't think you need to do it any more here, and you don't need to send him away. Everything you describe is pretty normal for two young, energetic cats. Remember, your older one is still just a kitten, and not neutered to boot. You say he bites the little one? Did he ever hurt him? Cats bite each other all the time when they're playing. And with two young male cats like this their playtime can get pretty violent. You say they eat together, and you've seen them sleep together. So, I don't think you have an introduction problem, I think you have an expectation problem. You weren't prepared for how two young cats can behave together. Just take a deep breath and calm down. Give them a couple years to grow up. And maybe your older one will be just a tiny bit less rambunctious after his surgery. Sounds like your cats are just being cats and having fun doing it.

thanks coaster for your response! You made me feel a little better....
well they 'slept' together with me. the older one (Gizmo) slept where he always sleeps on an extra pillow beside me) and the new youngin' (Milo) slept on the other side of me under the comforter. At 5:45am they went at it again for an hour, til I closed the door and they fought thru the door for another 45mins or so til I got up and opened the door and they seemed to have come to a 'truce' and ate together. Now when they eat they don't fight but Gizmo tries to eat Milo's dry food but not the wet food. They are using the same littler and haven't seen too much problem except Gizmo likes to watch him!

When Gizmo bites Milo, Milo lets out a scream and i break them apart - usually loudly saying "no" and getting Gizm off him. Should I not do that?
I do think they were playing because Milo would go after Gizmo when Gizmo isn't even interested in fighting. But I don't know when should I intervene and how? Right now when they get really aggressive, I put Milo in the bedroom but I don't want him to feel 'punished'.

I'm going to get Gizmo neutered as soon as possible! But i'm sure the 8 week one will go thru alot of "biting" and 'picking' fights w/ him til he gets neutered regardless, right?

I really do think everything's normal-normal at your place. Cats can make a lot of noise when they fight. I have one that squeals. I don't even know which one it is. But if it looks like it's getting too much for you to be comfortable with, it's OK to separate them. They need to be separated for a good 30 minutes or longer for them to calm down.

Well, I'll add in that it can't hurt to absolutely ignore the two of them together. I mean, make like you don't know you have an extra cat (without actually ignoring the new cat, of course, lol). Don't push the two to eat close to each other, sit in the same window together, play together, even just sit in the same room together. Let them work it out for themselves. I speak from experience, trust me (okay, that's not much, but still...). I screwed up the introductions between Buffy and Molly, since we didn't think we were keeping Molly (we'd found her lost on the street), so we just let them all loose. We also made the mistake of trying to encourage Buffy to accept Molly because, behaviour-wise, they were pretty close to a match (and Buffy's been sad because Willow never wants to play with her). But every time we'd push the two together, Buffy would get stressed and would hiss, and then we'd make another mistake. We'd say something like, "Buffy! No!" and then soothe poor little Molly'd who'd gotten slapped by the bad black cat. You could really see Buffy shaping her opinions about Molly based on how we treated her; if we left them alone, Buffy would be more willing to accept Molly's presence in the same room as her, but if we intervened AT ALL, Buffy would hate Molly's guts. And in the end, 2 years later, Buffy still hates Molly's guts. We've long since turned off our voices and body language as soon as we saw Buffy and Molly interact, but the damage is done. No matter what Molly does (maybe she simply walked next to Buffy), Buffy will sniff, hiss, and slap. Of course, Buffy is a naturally opinionated, stubborn little girl, and the only other cat she'd ever known, from the day she arrived as a 4 week old orphan, was our resident girl Willow (who, by the way, had no problems with Molly after a month or so). But amazingly, I swear that I do see some progress every now and then, and I have hopes that they'll be snuggling together in 7.29 years! lol

Sounds perfectly normal to me, although please do get the older one neutered, his hormones will start raging soon and then you could see some problems ie. territorial spraying and aggression, the sooner you can get him neutered the better!

Other than that advice it all sounds ok, I can sympathise with how annoying it is when they are going at it on the bed in the small hours of the morning, our bed is disputed territory also and I am often woken by Sonic screaming in indignation and launching himself at Radar and pushing him off the bed

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who has experienced this! I've been a little stressed and around them I try to keep "cool" so they don't feel my stress.

I realized Gizmo is territorial of his mommy (me!) ...last night he came and slept right on top of him and blocked Milo's view. Ofcourse from 2-4am they kept me up....I'm a student so this is definitely going to effect me and i hope it stops soon.

I try not to pet the little one too much around him and when they get into a fight, I just take Milo and put him in the bedroom alone. They fight thru the door and after 15-20mins when I let them be together, they 'lick' each other for 5mins and start up again. Mostly cuz Milo is a kitten and wants to play and Gizmo gets annoyed cuz he just wants to lay down and sleep, his schedule has been screwed cuz of him.

I'm taking both of them to the vet today. Gizmo for his neutering prep and Milo for his check up.

I don't force them to eat together or anything, Milo likes to eat w/ Gizmo....he loves following around his big brother (even goes poo-poo together lol) and Gizmo is slowing understanding he isn't so bad.

This is day 3....hopefully by the 7th day there will be a huge progress!

I'll never screw up the initial introduction again, its so stressful! I wish i had a house, it would have been easier.

Thank you for all the help...it eases my mind knowing these 2 boys will be okay and wont have to give one up.

I don't think you screwed up the introduction, kittens rarely need it.

Hey, 2Boys!!
Your experience sounds *just* like our recent experience introducing a new kitten to an older (1 year old, 10 lb muscular Siamese) cat, and we also didn't have any previous experience with with introductions. It turned out that all the problems were caused by our uncertainties, not with the cats themselves. They went through everything you described, and I was actually considering taking the little one back to the place where we got her, because of all the screeching and fighting; fortunately, the people in this wonderful forum were very helpful and reassuring!!

One morning after about a week, Yoda (the older) had once again pounced on Jasmine, pinning her to the ground and chomping on her. Jasmine was squalling to high heaven!! Then she broke free and fled for her life (I thought), fleeing with Yoda hot on her tail... then as she passed a small bench in the living room, she circled around the bench at full speed and PLOWED into Yoda from the side!! he rolled over two or three times before he could come to a stop, and when he did, she was firmly planted on his back, chomping happily!! That was when I realized that *they* didn't have any problems, only we did... everything's been fine since then.

Jasmine is *very* vocal, and will often let out a potent Yelp when he chomps on her, but she launches herself at him as often as he does at her. And they both share food bowls and resting places, and often groom each other. (BTW, Yoda also loves to watch her use the box!! lol...)

So I think you're doing fine, just give them time and try not to be too nervous!!

Originally Posted by derelict

... but she launches herself at him as often as he does at her. And they both share food bowls and resting places, and often groom each other. ...

Click to expand...

And that's the key to know when it's normal or not. Normal is when they go back and forth, taking turns being the aggressor, and when they take timeouts and are friendly during the timeouts.