Possible pregnancy?

I read a post here a long time ago where one of you had said you were pregnant and that the doctor had confirmed it, but this person had taken a few home pregnancy tests and they showed up negative.

This is somewhat complicated, but I have a friend who thinks she might be pregnant. I was with her when she took the test 3 days after her missed period and it had a negative result. The test was one of those ones that claims to work 5 days before the missed period.

During the time when she was supposed to have her period, she had a really light one, not even 1 day of bleeding, just really light spotting for 2 days with some mild cramps. I think she might be pregnant, so I want to hear from someone who failed the pregnancy test, and if they ever found out why they failed, and what method the doctor used to determine if there was a pregnancy.

It seems like the obvious solution is to go to the doctor, but that's where it gets complicated. The short story is that she doesn't want to go to the doctor because she doesn't want her boyfriend to find out.

Any help on false pregnancy tests, and other ways to determine if there is a pregnancy would be really helpful.

I've heard stress can cause your period to be late/not as much. I'd say she's probably not pregnant, especially since the three negatives, but if you really want to be sure, have her go to the doctor.

How would her boyfriend find out? Is he going with her, is he sitting there in the room? Is he requesting the tests?
Just make the appointment and if he asks, she should say she's getting a physical if she's afraid he's going to freak out. Don't forget she gets doctor/patient privileges, meaning that the Dr's office can't say why she's in without her consent.

Home tests are not always accurate, the best way is to get her blood drawn by a doctor. If she doesn't go to one and the home tests are continually negative when in fact she IS pregnant, she could be jeopardizing the baby's health as well as her own.

Does she know when she ovulated? Are her cycles normal? A test will give a best result 18 days after ovulation. Also, she can try different tests as there's so many out there. I got several negatives at home and got a positive at the doctors with blood work (didn't work out, though). She'll want a beta hcg done there. The beta, though, is the end all test. Whatever it has, it's true.

Originally Posted by lunasmom

How would her boyfriend find out? Is he going with her, is he sitting there in the room? Is he requesting the tests?
Just make the appointment and if he asks, she should say she's getting a physical if she's afraid he's going to freak out. Don't forget she gets doctor/patient privileges, meaning that the Dr's office can't say why she's in without her consent.

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Well to clarify one thing, she's only taken 1 home pregnancy test. I've heard that if your body has difficulty producing certain hormones, then you will not have a positive pregnancy test, and you will have bleeding during the early part of your pregnancy. However, I'm not sure if that's the case.

The boyfriend thing is that they are on the same insurance, and he checks the mail when the insurance statements come in and show that you've visited a doctor. He's a control freak, and is very excitable. Not a bad guy all around, but I understand her situation and why she wants to know for sure before letting him know. She just had both her annual visits, so she's not due for another one, and he's the type to freak out if she says she needs to go to the doctor. Second fear she has is that at her doctors the labs are billed separately and she's had her bloodwork stuff come to her home before.

I am worried for her because she eats junk, and drinks a decent amount on weekends. It could be stress, she says she's not stressed but who knows. Either way, I feel kind of sorry for her that she can't even visit a doctor in privacy.

She could just have messed up hormones. Is she usually regular like clockwork or is she irregular and sometimes is early, late or skips one completely?

I have polycystic overy and before I was diagnosed I had many times where I thought I was pregnant because of a "missed" period. Turns out that it was the polycystic ovary that was causing me to not ovulate and therefore not have a period.

Sometimes I have a period of 1/2 a day, sometimes, 1 or 2 days, and sometimes for 2 weeks! And sometimes I don't have one at all for months and months.

She should see a doctor and have some blood work done. She may need birth control pills to regulate her cycle.

Do you have a planned parenthood nearby or perhaps call the doctor and find out what exactly they label for pregnancy test?

IMHO I think she should be honest with her boyfriend though. If this is someone she sharing insurance with and feel she needs to hide something, then that's not a good sign.

She needs to be honest with her boyfriend and let him know what's going on. Honesty is sooo important in a relationship- especially something that could impact both of them.

The ONLY correct way to find out of she's expecting or not is a trip to the doctors office. I had a recent experience when i thought i was pregnant- i took several tests, and some of those were postitve. I had all the "symptoms" of pregnancy as well- so i indeed thought i was expecting. I made an appointment with my doctor to confirm it.

While i was there they did two ultrasounds. They told me- no, i wasn't pregnant, but i did however have PCOS (polycyctic ovarian syndrome). (it can cause some of the symptoms you may confuse with pregnancies such as missed periods/etc). If she is indeed pregnant, she needs to find out as soon as possible and start taking prenatal vitamins/ eating healthy/etc. So the sooner she knows the better. My doctor explained to me after i had several positive pg. tests even though i wasn't pg...that yes, even though i did them correctly- sometimes- they are not as reliable as the companies would lead you to believe...so i do not trust otc tests completly now. In the future if i ever thing i might be pregnant, i will be going to the doctor for a blood test and an ultrasound to confirm it.

Good luck to your friend I will keep her in my prayers that everything turns out as good as possible

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

She could just have messed up hormones. Is she usually regular like clockwork or is she irregular and sometimes is early, late or skips one completely?

I have polycystic overy and before I was diagnosed I had many times where I thought I was pregnant because of a "missed" period. Turns out that it was the polycystic ovary that was causing me to not ovulate and therefore not have a period.

Sometimes I have a period of 1/2 a day, sometimes, 1 or 2 days, and sometimes for 2 weeks! And sometimes I don't have one at all for months and months.

She should see a doctor and have some blood work done. She may need birth control pills to regulate her cycle.

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Yep, I'm the same way, very random. I always joke that one day I'm gonna go to the emergency room and find myself in labor. I've missed as many as 6 periods at a time. Sad thing is I react too strongly to birth control, so I can't use that to regulate my periods. She has fairly regular periods though, and has not been on birth control for over 3 months.

Originally Posted by lunasmom

IMHO I think she should be honest with her boyfriend though. If this is someone she sharing insurance with and feel she needs to hide something, then that's not a good sign.

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Normally I would I agree, but I don't know how to say this without making him seem like a crazy man, but he really is a crazy man. He's got some sort of anxiety disorder, and can't handle a lot of things. He's a good guy, very caring and all, but he just doesn't handle things well. He's had major panic attacks over silly things, so he really needs to be left out of the "suspense" part of things, which is why I'm here.

We kind of worry that if she told him she suspected she was pregnant, he'd make himself sick until he knew. And if it turns out she is, she'll have to deal with that one when she gets to it. But if she's not, he'll think it's his fault, and feel guilty and make himself sick over that. I'm at a loss for how he's going to handle it if she is, but I do know for certain that there's no point getting him worked up until there is a real verdict. Which is why this pregnancy test is annoying because she's now 2 weeks late.

Originally Posted by StarryEyedTiGeR

If she is indeed pregnant, she needs to find out as soon as possible and start taking prenatal vitamins/ eating healthy/etc.

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I agree. In stark contrast to her boyfriend, she is a very mellow, laid back person, and in this case I think she's too laid back. She wanted me to go drinking with her tonight, but I told her that until she knows for sure that she isn't pregnant, she shouldn't be drinking.

Originally Posted by Cairo

has not been on birth control for over 3 months.

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It can take much longer than that to work out of her system.

I was on BC for years and then I stopped and had really messed up periods as I described. That's when I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary. It came about while I was on BC and because I was on synthetic hormones the symptoms weren't manifesting themselves, at least not in a noticable way with my cycle.

That was me who had all the negative tests. I did 7 home pregnancy tests including one at the doctor's office at about 6 weeks pregnant, and they were all negative. It wasn't until a blood test at almost 7 weeks I think (my husband made me go back to the doctor for further check ups since I was still really sick) where they also checked for pregnancy "just in case".

So it definitely is possible that the pregnancy test is wrong - I have no idea why mine kept failing.

If she really doesn't want him to find out unless she finds out that she IS pregnant, she can just say one of her previous results showed her iron was low and they want to recheck it (or something minor like that). On my insurance paperwork it just says "Laboratory" or something like that which is not at all obvious - it doesn't say what the blood test is for.

Originally Posted by sarahp

If she really doesn't want him to find out unless she finds out that she IS pregnant, she can just say one of her previous results showed her iron was low and they want to recheck it (or something minor like that). On my insurance paperwork it just says "Laboratory" or something like that which is not at all obvious - it doesn't say what the blood test is for.

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That's what I'm thinking too...any bloodwork I have had done was just labeled "bloodwork" or "Lab tests" or something. It wasn't labeled "Test to find if she is preggos or not".