So Stressed!

Eurgh, my life is so stressful right now.

I'm 17, so am in my last year of mainstream education - In 7 school months, that'll be it and I'm expected to go to university. But it's so hard making a decision, and deciding that it's the right one.

Up until I got my AS results back in August, I wanted to do psychology. Absolutly dead set on it. Then I got an E and my teacher basically said that was all I was worth, which caused me to completly forget about it. After a few weeks hard deliberation, I decided that german would be a good degree to do, as it didn't need as high grades as psych and I am studying it at the moment anyway. I love german, it's a great language but it's hard!

Sometimes (like tonight) I feel it's too hard, and I'm way out of my depth even doing the A level in it. I can't get the grammar down - I still struggle with the basics, my vocablurary is very limited, my ideas are awful and I have no enthusiasm anymore. I think I'd really, really, really struggle if I took it further. One of my friends is a wizz at it (well, she's fantastic at everything, really). No kidding, she rarely gets less than 85% on a test, can answer everything off pat, has all the answers. She moans on about how bad she ist at it - she's applying to Cambridge to study Medieval Languages ffs.

If I didn't do german, then there's no other course I would want to do. I really liked the university of Kent, which is based on the top of Canterbury, and it's my main choice. If I didn't go to uni, I'd want to be around there; I don't know why but when I went to see it it just felt 'right'. If I didn't go through uni though, I don't know how I'd get there. I have no career plans; no ambitions, no wants, no ideas. At the back of my mind is policing, but I'm becoming increasingly disillusioned with the British police system. Not my cup of tea right now. Everybody's pushing me to make a decision soon, telling me that I have to do it by next week, that I have to have it sent off ASAP. But I'm stalling majorly so I don't have to commit; what if in a month I change my mind again?

My only goal in life is to have a horse. I will do that, whatever - I will work in Tesco day and night if I have to, but I'll get it. I just don't seem to care or know how to get it. I don't know if uni is the right thing to do as I can't just drop out or carry on and not do the work, I have to commit completly (especially because all the german courses I'm looking at do a year out in between the second and third years). It's a huge financial thing too, I don't want to be wasting 30k that I'll have to pay back (and delay my horse). Plus it won't look too great on my future CVs.

*Sigh* To summarise, that was:
- Do I go to uni?
- If so, what do I study?
- What is the point of going?
- What do I want to do when I'm older?
- Why am I feeling so pressured by all of this, when no-one else is?

And the answer to all of them at the minute is 'I don't know!' (Which I feel like screaming from the top of my lungs at the next person who crosses, lol.)

I hate being a teenager!

I know exactly how you feel the only difference is that I graduated in June from high school, and as you said I was set on going on to Psychology but it is truly hard to decide on what to do for the rest of your life You can always change your major though as many of my friends have told me (a lot of my friends are already in college and have been) Its just so stressful and so hard to decide on where to go! I don't really have much advice I am sorry, but I too am in the same boat as u These decisions that affect the rest of our lives But I understand everyone was pushing me too but I told them I don't know if I can commit to a certain study yet so I am waiting until next semester/year to go this way I have the time I need to make that big of a decision on my life. And also don't always listen to what others say like how your teacher told you you couldn't do it...well my guidance yes guidance consular told me I would never graduate and this and that as I had a lot of problems in school until I went to cyber school, which was the best thing I did and I was great with grades and my gpa ! If you have your heart set on psychology then go for it, its your decision and if you really wanna deal with that than go for it, I am torn between that and nursing and something in criminal law, I just know what ever I decide I am still going to take my psychology classes and get at least a small degree in it! Just take the time you need to figure it all out like you said you don't want to be out all that money because you couldn't decide, its your decision just remember that!

I hope this helped you out a little bit and I didn't confuse you at all

Yeah, it kinda made sense, thanks I can't hold off any longer - UCAS applications (in the UK, lol) have to be made before November, apparently. And once I've applied, I can't change it (>.<') I hate the thought that this little decision affects my whole future... I want to sleep for a living!

Take a deep breath. You'll be ok. One thing that I think is really important to remember is that even if you thought you knew EXACTLY what you wanted to be when you grew up and knew EXACTLY what you wanted to major in, once you got into a university and started studying the odds are that you would change your mind.

Personal example: I only applied to one university. I knew what I want to do, I was going to be a television news anchor and study broadcast journalism. Except, when I got to school and started taking classes for it...I HATED IT! I struggled to figure out what direction I should head in from there, but eventually decided to get a bachelor's in psychology. It was a great fit. During my undergraduate degree I thought for certain that I wanted to next go on and get my PhD in clinical psychology. Well, the more I learned about it the more my mind began to change. I ended up in a masters program for mental health counseling. I'm about to finish the program and I've loved every minute of it. When I first started my masters I thought for SURE that I would follow up my masters with a PhD in counseling psychology. Once again though I've changed my mind. I know that I want to get a PhD, but I haven't quite decided in what.

The point of all of that is that you have every right to change your mind. You don't have to know exactly what you want to do or who you want to be! You grow and change and through that change you figure things out. I know plenty of amazing people who spent the first two years at university without a major. They needed that time to figure out what to do. Having a degree from a university is becoming more and more important though, and one thing I can tell you is that no other time in my life has been as much fun or challenging as university.

So just breathe, let it be ok that you don't have it all figured out. Sometimes my 53 year old mom still says to me (after having already gotten her masters and been in the professional world for decades), "I wonder what I want to be when I grow up..."

If you're really interested in German, but aren't sure about going to university, why not check out schools (polytechs) that offer courses for commercial correspondents/foreign-language secretaries or translators?

I studied German (in the U.S. and Germany; I'm American), and like most of the students in the department, found that those studies concentrated on literature, and basically only qualified me to teach German or English. What practical purpose does learning Middle High German serve?

I live in Germany, and teach English to commercial correspondents and translators. Yes, the language is complicated, but very logical, in contrast to English. Read as much as you can (I can recommend German websites if you'd like - just PM me), download Joost and check out the German channels, and offer to tutor German students in your area in English in exchange for practice speaking German. They're over there, believe me, and looking for English friends.

You're going through what most people your age do. Yes, you have some decisions to make, but they're not unalterable. Who cares if you start out majoring in one subject, and switch to another? Lots of students do that. Is it an absolute "must" that you reach a "final decision" before getting your A-levels? Could you take a year off, just work to get some money together, and then decide what type of further education you want?

I look back and the things that came the easiest to me in school, I got bored of. I was pretty much an all A student in Music Ed as I really thought that's what I wanted to be. Then 1/2 way through my second year, I got bored. I attended other music related intro courses, but didn't find anything that I liked.

So I dropped out, did a bunch of my core classes and found a completely different major that I really enjoyed.

If its possible, why not enter a Uni with an undeclared major or a General Studies major? Then you can pick and choose the major once you get there.

Also If the psych dream is still there, just because one teacher gives you an E, don't let that discourage you. Didn't Einstein fail basic math????

I think it's really unfair to have people decide a major right off the bat at university. You should come to the states. I went to University of Michigan and you basically don't have to choose a major till the end of your second year after you've tried this and that and figured out what your true passion is. There's tons of overseas study programs, maybe you can apply to some.

If your main goal in life is to get a horse, why not go into farm animal husbandry? Or become a horse specialist at a veterinary school? I think it'd be a lot easier to come by a horse if you went that route, than become a German major traveling to Germany all the time and being stuck in a university studying all the tiny nuances of the German language and culture.

Although I have to warn you, after you see a few things at Uni, you're outlook on life changes dramatically.