dilemma

SO a couple weeks ago i fell down a full flight of stairs down to a finished basement and shattered my elbow and broke a vertabrae in my neck. i know, i know if that wasnt stressful enough... i been planning on going to a close friend's wedding for FOREVER... it is this saturday... it will be exactly 3 weeks from the accident. now mind you, i do feel better every day but i have to wear a neck brace 24/7 and i have a brace on my arm (had emergency surgery). my mom has to help me bathe, dress.... tomorrow i go to the neck dr. to see how its healing, and they are debating surgery on it, but they will know tomorrow i guess.
SO MY DILEMMA IS... my friend really wants me to go to her wedding... i've known them since way before they were engaged... and i dont know if i should go. any thoughts? my boyfriend said whatever i want to do, but i just dont wanna say yes i'll go (she has to know by tonight for the final headcount) and then be uncomfortable the whole time or not be able to go for some reason, then they're stuck paying for 2 more plates... or say no and then regret it forever that i could have pushed myself and just gone for the few hours. i do get uncomfortable if i cant rest for a while.... but maybe in a week i'll be a little better? UGH this couldnt have happened at a worse time... but i am just venting... i hate going in public with this neck brace but i guess i could deal... i just dont know. i am leaning toward no but i just feel like i might really regret it and maybe it will make me feel better to get out of the house, but then again, i dont wanna be miserable. ok im gunna shut up now. thanks guys...

You WILL feel better, and trust me, if you miss this very important milestone in your friends' lives, you WILL regret it. Just rest rest rest the day of the wedding, and go and take it easy. You'll be fine! Weddings are so happy!

Can you just say yes for right now? Best to say yes and have a plate then to say no and regret later!

I would try to make the ceremony at least.

If you're not sure, I would say "no" to dinner, and tell her you will try to make it to the ceremony or the reception. That way you don't put undue stress on yourself, and you don't stick your friend with two uneaten plates, which aren't cheap. That way you leave it open to enjoy the festivities if you're feeling up to it!

Vibes for a swift and complete recovery.

Your health is way more important. A neck injury is nothing to mess with.

I would suggest going to the wedding ceremony and not the reception. I'm sure your friend will understand you bowing out of the reception.

I don't know if you do "presentation" at the reception where you live (give a gift of money in a card), but you could send yours with someone who is going to the reception and they can put it into the reception bowl when the time comes.

yeah natalie i think you're right. i mean i'm sitting here at the comp getting uncomfortable, i think that a whole day with all that going on and not even being able to turn my neck will be kind of exhausting. i do want to go to the ceremony, and doing that will probably be good enough. thanks for the input everyone, keep them coming LOL... i am still debating, its a tough decision, but kind of important :/

I agree that you should go to the ceremony but skip the reception. At least you would still be there for your friend but not over extend your self. Hope you heal quickly.

Yes I agree go to the ceremony! And then skip the reception or just duck in for a few minutes of it and then duck back out!
Feel better!

If you don't have to have surgery, you may feel a lot better in three weeks. I would talk to your friend. You could say you will be there, but to agree to pay her back for the plates if you can't make the reception. Truthfully, most places will "pad" the guest count and prepare a few extra plates in case someone makes it that said they couldn't. I know our wedding, we had some people say they couldn't make it and come anyway, and some that said they were coming and didn't show. I say talk to your friend and see how she wants to handle it. I hope you can go though. Get well soon!

I agree that your health is important. And because you don't know how you will feel, just tell her you will do your best to be at the wedding, but don't count on you at the reception.

Besides, you would not have fun at the reception if you can't get up and join in with the dancing

This is your friend. Explain what is going on. I'm sure, unless she's a total bridezilla, she will be sympathetic. Things happen. A plate of uneaten food (even expensive wedding reception food) shouldn't endanger a friendship.

What if you go, but let your friend know that you may have to leave early because of your injury? She will understand

Borrow or rent a wheelchair, so you can at least stay seated and not risk a fall and a reinjury. That should make it much easier!