you really are thinking about this too much! hell, you've got me thinking about this too much!
an example of your obsession, was when you answered to her:
"You really mean that? don't say it just to please me, I want you to be fully honest with me"
this is about her saying that she still would like you to visit, and dude (geez i can talk like an American :P lol, eh hem!, sorry, back to what i was saying) , you are questioning her like mad on whether or not she is telling the truth! the fact that your speech is like this with her shows how you are devaluing yourself.
seriously, all the advice thus far has been good quality, and i doubt anything new can be added. The hard part is getting yourself now to accept the advice and realise how things actually are, instead of gazing through those spectacles of yours, the ones with the obsessive filters!
stop treating this girl like she's some sort of goddess, some ultimate prize which you have to subjugate your dignity for!
the mind works by association, and it seems like she is the root of a lot of your associations at the moment, that is why you are dwelling on her so much! But you can change this; go try new hobbies, build new associations and enjoy yourself. It is the only way to stop yourself coming across as being so needy to her, which is devaluing yourself as a dating prospect for her (or any other woman) in the future.
oh yeah, and women lie a lot in dating, they have become exceedingly competent in this respect. They may not be flat out in your face lies, they can just be lying through omission.
oh one last, very important thing! don't ever fool yourself into thinking you can extract the truth from a woman! i told you already about the open-ended nature of their statements:
"we'll see" etc......
men are very different, we have to be to keep business and commerce running smoothly. In the business world a man's word is worth a lot, if something is said, promised, it is carried out, our economies depend on this reliability - the business minded nature of men.
so it is natural for us men (as men generally know very little about women and dating) to assume that a woman's words have the same standing. very wrong conclusion!!!
women are like skilled politicians and can be particularly oblique when they speak. They do this for the same reasons as our skilled public servants - so that you cant hold them accountable!
ok, im gonna set you a task. Tonight/tomorrow night, to help get your mind off of her, you are going to go out with a friend and you are NOT going to talk even ONE word about her to this friend. Any time a thought of her enters your mind, you will immediately dismiss it, and re-focus your attention on something else (not necessarily the slim, sexy brunette sitting near by, althought this could be an interesting place to start!). Oh, and i must add in case she is your focus, dont focus on her for more than 3 seconds without either looking away or initiating some conversation, lest you freak her out!
Part 2 of the assignment is to talk to other people around esp clusters of women. Just be casual and talk about anything that enters your mind, and if you get bored of that then just move on to another venue with your friend!