Worried, Need Reassurance (long)

Seamus is 2 years old, and I've had him since 4 mos old. When I got him, I was working regular teaching hours, leave the house at 7:15-7:30 home at 4-5, and summers he gets a lot of time with me (he is still adjusting to the back to work thing ) This year I've begun coaching and I also tutor once a week and a couple nights a week that has me out until 7-8pm. That alone is stressing him out a little. He cries on Thursday nights (tutoring night) when I come home after 7 and cries the next morning when I leave every week. Come January, I will be going back for my Masters on top of the coaching and tutoring... which will have me home later nearly every night... it's looking like 10-11 maybe one night if I have to take a late class. Aside from me running myself ragged, I get nervous that he will be bored and lonely and restless. A second cat is not an option right now because the time it would take to adjust them to each other and get that settled isn't there and I have a feeling he may not take too well to that anyway, plus I think I was lucky when the landlord said yes to him because the woman who used to live downstairs wasn't allowed a pet when she thought about it (I think she wanted a dog though)

Anyway, I've been driving myself crazy about this all week... I can't put off school anymore, I'll never go back if I do, the coaching is fun and is the money that will pay for the school, and the tutoring is a favor to a friend that is practically family. I know there are people out there who work far more hours than I do and have much more of a commute than I do and have a cat they love and care for... I am probably just being neurotic because he's crying at me on my late nights for attention... I guess I just need to hear stories of people who spend those kind of hours away from their cat to feel reassured...

I have a similar schedule. I've gotten all of my pets as school ended and then they had to adjust to the back to school routine. It does seem to make it easier on them by having more than one. That would have to be a summer addition in your case.
Don't worry about grad school, he'll adjust to that too.

Do you have a friend or two who could come by every day for 15-30 minutes for play or cuddling? I did it this summer with my son's cat as I came over to pick up his dog (so she wouldn't be crated all day). It took Captain a couple of weeks to get into the routine, but she was soon showing me her belly for rubs.

You might check out the made-for-cats videos that are specifically for entertaining cats left home alone.
Another option would be "kitty daycare" - for some recent foster ferals, I enlisted my disabled close friend. She is delighted to be needed. On top of that, her terminally ill neighbor comes by daily to visit the kittens AND my own brain-damaged daughter spent the afternoon with them on Fri., teaching kittens to socialize and was actually visiting with my friend, the neighbor and the county-supplied housekeeper My friend says that it feels wonderful to be needed, to be able to give back to the community; my daughter actually is willing to leave her bedroom and go back over there!! Your situation could be a disabled person's dream come true (there are so many ladies in similar situations who cannot afford a cat of their own).
I'm sure you'll get other options,too. Sending prayers that your own answer comes soon - Please keep us updated on how it goes! Susan

I thought of maybe having my mother check on him on the really late day if that happens... I can't imagine my schedule getting so hectic that he needs it every day. I think part of it is he's still adjusting to the fact that I'm not home most of the day every day as I was all summer and he became quite a spoiled baby this summer because he was sick in July and was neutered in August. He got babied all summer and got used to it. Before that, he was fine if I had the occasional late night or went out after work.

Right now I think he's just being a brat with me not being here all the time and I'm getting neurotic for no real reason.

Having you Mom stop by should help. Your schooling is important, don't let guilt stop you. Cats really are pretty adaptable. You may be right about being neurotic, it's so easy to feel guilty and then see more in your pet than is actually there. You are coming tired on these late nights and everything always seems worse at night. Good luck, I hope things get better.

Maybe even leaving the tv on will help with background noise. He'll adjust. It will just take him a little bit. If you do have someone that could stop over on your longer days will help. Or I have you tried getting different cat toys that will spark his curiosity? Maybe that will be enough to keep him occupied while you are gone.

You can also do things like feed him all his dry food (if he's eating dry) in puzzle balls. I.e hollow balls with a small opening on that he needs to roll around to get the food to drop out.

Or leave his food in various locations around the flat, just a few kibbles in each place and then change it up so that he has to spend a bit of time looking for his food. A good window and a nice seat in front of it will help as well. Also of course you'll need to play with him and quite a lot most likely when you are home.

Cats are adaptable so I'm sure you'll manage. It might leave you quite tired though because often when you come home after a long day you don't necessarely want to start playing intensely with your cat but it is definately manageble.

Believe me, I'm not putting off going to school over my cat I'm just making sure he has all he needs while I take care of my own. Currently, I leave balls out all day, I hide paper towel balls because he loves to tear at them (though they are a bit messy), and he's good to go on the dry food. He won't eat off the floor if he drops food so anything that involves food dropping is out, he likes to leave messes.

The more I think about it and as logic kicks in, I feel less bad about it... he's just so darn energetic lately... he gets a good play session in the AM and a so-so one at night... after two years here he's finally feeling at home, he hangs out when people come over when he used to hide, he's a cuddlebug, and that's all new to me as he was so independent before this summer. Before, he could care less...