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Would it be wrong not to get another cat??

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
I've finally made the decision to put Zorro down. I know that Boo is going to be absolutely traumatized that Zorro is not going to be there anymore. He is a very needy cat and already suffers from separation anxiety whenever Zorro or myself is gone. I know he's going to be an absolute reck when Zorro doesn't come home.
Someone told me that I should get another kitten to keep his mind off of Zorro and to make him feel better, but I don't think I can. I know this sounds just wrong, but right now I just hate every cat I see because they're healthy and happy, and Zorro has to die. I even said to myself yesterday that I wished it was Boo that was sick instead of Zorro. I know thats an absolutely horrible thing to say. I love Boo to death, I'm just so mad because Zorro will never experience a normal life like he will. Feel free to tell me what a horrible person I am.
Would it be wrong for me not to get another kitten for Boo, or will he get over it and be fine by himself??
post #2 of 16
I am so sorry for your loss and you need to do what is best for you both. If that means not getting a cat for now so be it. Play it by ear for now. Boo may not tolerate another cat/kitten either.
post #3 of 16
You're not a horrible person. You're a caring person with a big heart being forced to make a terrible decision.

Boo will grieve too. He will miss Zorro. Let him grieve and tell you if and when he wants a new friend. You have to be ready for another kitty too, or else it won't be fair to either kitty. Your heart will tell you what's right to do, but it's really not something you have to decide right now.

Focus on Zorro and making his short life the best you can.
post #4 of 16
You are going to be going through a lot of conflicting feelings for awhile because of your grief. To get another cat is something you have to be ready for because it won't do Boo any good to bring in someone new and then for you to resent the new one.

But I have also seen so many cases where new cats come into one's life almost as if their beloved departed led them there. So concentrate now on loving and saying good-bye to Zorro. The rest will take care of itself.
post #5 of 16
I think it may be too soon to get another cat. You need to recover and maybe Boo needs time to mourn as well? You're doing the right thing. Be gentle on yourself and on Boo. You two will still have each other.

And don't feel bad for thinking things like that. When we are dealing with tragedy we often think things like that. It's not unusual and while you may mean it in the heat of the moment you wouldn't normally feel that way.

Hang in there!
post #6 of 16
We lost our little Davidson back in March- Harley was so attached to him, he really strived on that other interaction with him. He got so depressed so quickly from having that seperation anxiety, that he got sick - a bad cold, fever, and he wouldnt eat or drink anything. I took him to the vet & he was depressed.

We adopted Bayley from our Humane Society about 5 days after we lost Davidson. Harley become active and healthy again after having that solid cat interaction. It really helped us cope with the loss too. We didn't "replace" Davidson- but having another cat in the house really helped everyone.

I hope you will decide whatever is best for you AND for Boo- because he might need that interaction with another cat. Just keep an eye on him- depression in animals is real and its scary.

I'm sorry you had to loose Zorro- but you still have Boo, and he'll need you more than ever right now. Just remember, your not the only one hurting in this loss, he'll be hurting just as much
post #7 of 16
Thread Starter 
I guess I'll just wait and see how he takes the loss. If he stops eating, I might have to find him a new friend. I don't want him getting sick.
I feel just horrible for how I'm thinking right now, but I guess you guys are right, I'm just stressed and upset.
When I do decide to get another kitten, Its going to be another special needs kitten. There are just too many Zorro's out there for me not to help one.
post #8 of 16
Originally Posted by gothicangel69 View Post
I guess I'll just wait and see how he takes the loss. If he stops eating, I might have to find him a new friend. I don't want him getting sick.
I feel just horrible for how I'm thinking right now, but I guess you guys are right, I'm just stressed and upset.
When I do decide to get another kitten, Its going to be another special needs kitten. There are just too many Zorro's out there for me not to help one.
Aww, I think thats so great that you want to adopt a special needs kitten- your right, there are so many out there

Let yourself greive- its natural, of course. Just watch out for Boo

Everyone greives differently too, so what happened to my Harley necessarily wont happen to Boo.

Just take care of the both of you, okay?
post #9 of 16
I know its unfair at times, and right now you will need to mourn the loss; so will Boo. And its ok to "hate" the other cats right now, but deep inside you still care and love them.

So give yourself time for healing. And I'll bet that maybe 6 months or a year or even 2 years from now, you will feel better and a lot different about cats.

And when the time is right for both of you, I'm sure you will adopt another. Remember never say "never".

When I had to put Mitten down, I didn't want any other cats for a long time. But figured that if Mitten wanted me to love another, then he would help choose the time/kitten. One day about 2-3 years later I was at a cat show looking at the SPCA cats with no intentions of adopting. However, this little 4 month old red tabby/white kitten was sitting there. Something told me (Mitten?) that this was the one I should take home.

Reds was so much like Mitten in many ways - I was glad the Mitten helped me choose another
post #10 of 16
I`m sorry you`ve had to make such a hard decision about Zorro And I don`t think it`s wrong to not want to get anouther kitten.

I hope this doesn`t upset you but I have read in several different places that if you have more then one cat and one has to be PTS it can really help the remaining cats if you take the cat home and lay it on the floor in the middle of a room and let the other cats investigate.

I guess instead of their friend just suddenly disappearing and them waiting and waiting for them to re-appear, this way they will still pine but they will understand what has happened and recover sooner. Does that make sense?
post #11 of 16
I Think you need to see what happens after Zorro goes, you might be ready, you might not, and you might know that Boo needs that, you just dont know. I do think at times the cat we have lost has a part to play in a newcomer in our lives, so dont stress about it, just see what happens, and if it feels right, it isn't wrong, or too soon.
post #12 of 16
In times of crisis, we all have thoughts and feelings that shock us. They will pass when you've had time to accept the loss. And as GoldenKitty suggested, you don't have to make any decisions about new cats now. When the time is right, you'll be led to the right kitty.

I'm so sorry for Zorro... but you can feel good about having given him a loving home during his little life.
post #13 of 16
Thread Starter 
Thank you all for trying to make me feel better.
I don't want to bring Boo along to watch because I'm scared it will make him scared of going to the vets, but I do plan on bringing the body back to let Boo see it before taking it to the crematorium.
post #14 of 16
I think taking him home for Boo to see is a good idea. Seems more natural for him to know why his friend is gone. . . i just know i could never bring myself to do it in a million years. . . It would hurt so bad. I hope you have the strength to do what is right.

And the time will come that you will find another kitty. . . never to take the place of one that is gone, but to make a new spot in your heart just as important!
post #15 of 16
I remember the day right after Tucson was PTS I was on the Shelter website looking at all of the kittens, because I felt torn. I needed a cat so badly, but I still loved Tucson. There was one time when I was sitting outside and one of Tucson's kitty friends, Mickey, came into the yard, and he just let me pet him for such a long, long time and it was just one of the most beautiful, moving moments ever. I think poor Mickey was grieving for Tucson as much as I was. Cats grieve too. They also need time.

Just take it slowly, and you may be ready at the most unforseen moment. I know I wasn't ready for Quill; he was love at first sight, and then I guess it's fate one way or another.

I'm so sorry you have to put Zorro to sleep. It's so hard to heal, but take care. When the time comes to get another cat, whenever and where ever you happen to be, you'll know. And so will they.
post #16 of 16
he'd probably eventually get over it, but he'd do better with a companion. why not get a little one from the shelter? that way you'd be saving another life & making Boo's adjustment easier.

i know i was really glad Cable was around when Mouse passed. i had brought Cable home just 3-4 months earlier... Pixel & Mouse were 7 years old at the time, were littermates - had never spent a night apart. i shudder to think how much worse Pixel would've taken that loss if Cable hadn't already been there. i really think it helped having that annoying little sister around.
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