I think it may be time to let go...

gothicangel69

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I think that it may finally be time to put Zorro down. Part of me is saying that its the right thing to do, and the other part of me is saying not to.
For the last few weeks, every couple days he would walk up to me and his back end and legs would be soaked. I had no idea what is was, just kept thinking that he'd been getting into something. Two days ago, I was watching him sleep, and while he was sleeping, he just peed all over himself, without even waking up. It was like he didn't even know that he was doing it. I finally realized what the wet stuff had been. I smelt his bed, and it smelt very strongly of urine, as if he'd been peeing in there for some time now.
I called the vet that night and left a message for him to call be back. He called back that morning and he didn't sound too happy. He told me that it was most likely nerve damage from his back that was causing loss of bladder control. He said that it could be a urinary infection, but he doubts it. If it is nerve damage, he said that there is no cure, and that it would steadily get worse. He gave me the options of doing a urinalisis and a bladder ultrasound, but said that he knows money is an issue right now, and the tests could still show nothing. He also said that he was very frusterated because his toe is just not getting any better, no matter what we do. He has no idea what's wrong with it. Its just not responding to anything we do. He told me that there isn't alot of time to wait, and that I should decide what I'm going to do before two weeks, or else there is a very high chance of him getting a bladder infection from peeing on himself (said that the bacteria would work its way up the urethra and into the bladder)
I big part of me knows that its time to let go now, and that this time he won't get better, but I feel so bad thinking about euthanizing him when he still runs around (some of the time) and seems happy other than the fact that his back and paw hurts. I hate euthanizing him when he only pees on himself ever few days. I know its going to get worse, but it just makes me feel horrible. I also can't afford to spend that much more on him. I've already spent thousands this year on him.I know that he hasn't quite been himself lately, but the thought of letting him go just hurts so much.
I've havn't been able to stop crying. I don't know what I'm going to do without him. This is so horrible. He just turned two this month, and I'm talking about killing him.
Am I doing the right thing by letting him go??
 

katachtig

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Look into his eyes and into your heart. You will find the answer though it will be one of your most difficult decisions.

 
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gothicangel69

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When I look into his eyes now, I don't see the same little man that I use to. His eyes look dazed and confused. Its really sad to see him like this. But he still has some good days where he runs around as best he can and plays with Boo.
 

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Oh I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how hard it must be to make a decision like that. Really, the fact you're already debating it is a sign. You really are asking every right question and it's clear you love him.

Sleep on it, hug him tight and the answer will come to you. For now, they have diapers for incontinent cats. There is a hole for the tail. One of the sweet babies at our rescue group has to wear them.

I'm saying prayers for you and Zorro~
 
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gothicangel69

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I now know how everyone feels that has to make a decision like this. It definatly is one of the hardest things to do. I've known that this day was coming for a long time now, but it still doesn't make it any easier. He has been there for me during the hardest two years of my life, and I always sit down with him every night and tell him about my day(even though he was there with me) and how I'm feeling. Its going to feel really weird not being able to do that anymore.
I want to get him cremated. That way he'll never completely be gone and as weird as it sounds, I can still sit down with him at night and talk to him. Its going to cost $300 to get that done. I don't really have that kind of money, but I know that if it has to be done, this is the way I want to do it. I'm going to have to find a way to get the money.
When I called today to ask how much it would cost, the receptionist actually started crying when she found out who it was for. He's a very special kitty and he's always been so strong. I guess there's just some things that I can't fix.
 

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I don't have any "advice" - I dread the similar time that may be coming for me and my old guy - but my heart goes out to both you and your dear cat at this time. I think there are a lot of people here thinking of you both.
 

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I am so sorry you are facing this decision. I think the fact you know he isn't his usual happy self is a big indicator, but another thing you can do is work out his good times compared to his bad times, and when teh bad outweighs the good, then it could be his time.
 
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gothicangel69

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He does have alot of good days still. He tries playing with Boo, and will try pouncing on him. Its a hard decision because he still seems to be healthy, but his infection just wont clear up no matter what we do, and now his back end is getting worse and he can't control his bladder. I know there's diapers you can get for cats/dogs, but i don't think its fair.
I was on line for hours last night, researching ways to know when its time, and there were alot of signs that Zorro had. I know his back hurts him, even though he's on meds, and there's no chance of that ever getting better. His back will always hurt, no matter what. And his paw hurts as well and there's nothing that can be done for it. The bladder incompetance was just the last straw. I hate seeing him live like this. Whenever he plays with Boo, I get nervous that he's going to hurt himself and I have to monitor the play and brake it up when it gets to rough. Thats no way to live.
My teacher once said that the hardest thing to do is to put down an animal that was/seemed completely healthy in the front end, but the back end was no longer working. (She was talking about hip dysplacia, but I guess it applies to Zorro too).
I now think its selfish to let him live like this. He's had such a hard and painful life that I think he deserves to be pain-free. He's been following me around all morning and whenever I look at him, he makes his little 'mrrrrr' noise as if he's trying to tell me something, and I think he's trying to tell me to let go.
I've made the decision that next time he urinates on himself, I'm going to make an appointment. So far its been two days since he has, so I don't know when the next time is going to be. I feel so bad about this, but I have to set some guidelines or I just won't be able to force myself to do it.
 

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I'm sorry you are going through this.
I also had to make the tough decision almost 3 years ago and I am tearing up just thinking about it. It was one of the toughest things that I ever did, but I also know that it was the right one for my Molly. Many people say that their pain ends and our pain begins.


There is another good article here:

http://www.thecatsite.com/Care/127/W...y-Goodbye.html

We also had Molly cremated. Our house was for sale at the time and I just couldn't bury her in the yard and leave her behind. My intentions were to bury her here, but it just hasn't felt right to do it.

You and Zorro are in my thoughts and we are all here for you no matter what your decision is.
 
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gothicangel69

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I did that quiz on the link, and Zorro got 20 points. I guess he's pretty bad off. It does make me feel a little more like I'm doing the right thing.
I have to take my sister's cat to the vet today, and I know the vet's going to talk to me about it. I don't want to go because I know I'll cry, but I think talking to him might help.
 

exoticbabee

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I'm sorry you and Zorro are going through this. It was one of the hardest things in my life letting my baby go. I hope you stay strong and know that you will make the right decision.
 

catloverin_ks

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Oh. I am so sorry!!!
I got teared up reading this....

Please know that you are doing the right thing.


Many many to get you thru this!!
 
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gothicangel69

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Thank you all for your replies. Its just so hard even thinking about it, but it does help to talk about it. I think I'm taking this especially hard because I've raised him from two weeks old. He's always been there for me and I know that he loves me and trusts me to do what is best for him.
 

katachtig

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Originally Posted by gothicangel69

Thank you all for your replies. Its just so hard even thinking about it, but it does help to talk about it. I think I'm taking this especially hard because I've raised him from two weeks old. He's always been there for me and I know that he loves me and trusts me to do what is best for him.
I know that you won't betray that trust. Many of us have had to face that awful pain and we are here for you to lean on when it gets too hard.
 

4meezers3kids

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I am so sorry. It is such a painful decision to go through.

I hope you will be there in Zorro's final moments. It really helps me to be there, when I have to do it. And you have the reassurance of knowing how it happened.
 
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gothicangel69

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I've already decided that I'm going to stay with him. I've never left him to deal with anything by himself before, and I'm not going to start. I know its going to tear me up inside to be there, but if I don't stay, I know I'll regret it for the rest of my life.
I checked out the crematorium around here and it looks to be a really nice place. I wasn't able to get a price yet, but you have 21 days to pay. Which is good news for me. They also have alot of beautiful urns.
 

littleraven7726

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I'm so sorry.


I had an in depth conversation about "when is the time" with my Mom. She's been through it before, and we have to make this decision for Raven when the cancer gets bad. Mom told me "When they look at you as if to say 'Can't you fix this?' and they are no longer themselves".

I'm so sorry you are going through this.
 
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