Overboard??? Vent about kittens and other's views..........

danimarie · Sep 25, 2007

I sent this message to a girl I know, who asked for two kittens that Lily had who keeps asking about the kittens and when she can get them:

Hey!!! About kittens...questions....

I'm having a hard time deciding what to do with said kittens.
I just have a couple of questions for you.

You wanted two are they to stay together?
Here is why I ask. I have Pookie...who is adorable and probably my favorite, but the most connected to her mother. Her mother, who does *NOT* get along with my Sophie. I've tried everything, they're just not getting along.

Now, Lily isn't a kitten, but she can't possibly be more than a year old, she's a small cat who happened to have kittens.

So if they were staying together, I was going to ask if you could take Lily and her baby.

Now here's the other problem, obviously I'm extremely attatched to Lily...but I think she'd get along very well anywhere, she is a very very loving cat. I'm just starting to not be able to deal with the squabbling between her and Sophie.

I'm certainly not giving Lily away...unless it were to someone with one of her babies.

So that's why I wanted a little on your situation.

ALSO, I wanted to make sure we're on the same page about declawing, because I don't allow it. There are many reasons and many people that find it inhumane and I could offer you many links.

This was more of a vent than anything because as the tiime nears, I'm not knowing what to do , so I wanted your input and to see if you taking Lily and Pookie was a possibility. Handling an older cat and a baby kitten together would also be much easier.

I posted this in my online journal and my friend Ali said "you're being nuts". THEN said this:

You're going a little overboard. I know what it is to be protective, because my parents, and therefore I, bred show dogs as well as pets for my entire life. We had guidelines on the well-being of the dogs.

However, these are cats, which are a dime a dozen, and telling people what you will and will not "allow".. I would honestly tell you to go to hell and find one elsewhere, even though I don't particularly agree with declawing either.

But, that's me.

Also.. the rest of it was pretty much fine, and it's nice that you do care about them.. I guess it was just the wording of that part that turned me off to it all.

I'm so angry right now I want to throw something at the wall and break it!!!!!!! I think I'm being perfectly reasonable....if anything, I'm not going HARD ENOUGH by making her sign a contract and such.

Whatever.

I'm so angry/hurt. These kittens are my responsibility and I take that very seriously, and obviously some people who think they're "a dime a dozen" don't.

goldenkitty45 · Sep 25, 2007

Well considering her attitude of "a dime a dozen" then she can go elsewhere. I see nothing wrong with you wanting the best home for mom/kittens or whoever you would like to stay together if possible.

And as far as declawing, I agree with you, but legally there is not much we can do to prevent it if someone adopts our babies and does it anyway. Hopefully in the future the USA will ban declawing and no one will have to worry about it.

I'd email her back and tell her that you are upset about her remarks and it might be best for her to look elsewhere cause YOU are concerned about where your cats/kittens end up.

white cat lover · Sep 25, 2007

Yeah, a cat is a "dime a dozen", so she can go where the sun don't shine for all I care!

I'd e-mail her & tell her that you do not feel that she is fit to be meowmy to any of these kitties. You had hoped she would understand, as she seemed to be an animal person. But, that you are not going to let any of these guys go to her, because apparently she doesn't truly understand what it is to love a cat as they are a "dime a dozen".

Dump her. She isn't a friend. She's a brat! Trust me, I wasted time on a person like that....she dumped me off, ditched me, etc.

katz4life · Sep 25, 2007

You are not going overboard DaniMarie, we can all see how caring you are!

People should thank you for being so caring like that, all you want for them is to go into a loving home...where you know they will be cared for & safe. You are being very responsible with everything & thats wonderful! Obviously those people are not cat lovers...

A cat is a family member, a companion, a friend...not a dime a dozen! Keep up the great job you are doing finding them a loving home, you'll find someone who is at your level of responsibility...

lunacy95 · Sep 25, 2007

Can hardly form thoughts... angry on your behalf. The response may have upset me as well.

Ok, at the risk of angering the masses

I need to play devils advocate... the thing about print conversations is that anyone can read a tone in to something that wasn't intended... Is it possible this is a case of her reading too much in to it, being a little too sensitive? Taking some of the things you said too personally instead of as statements of what you believe? and need to know about the kitties new home.

sassy's mom · Sep 25, 2007

I completely agree with you. We have a responsibility to our animals and if we're going to place one in a home, you need to make sure it's the right home. I wouldn't want it any other way.

white cat lover · Sep 25, 2007

Originally Posted by lunacy95

Can hardly form thoughts... angry on your behalf. The response may have upset me as well.

Ok, at the risk of angering the masses

I need to play devils advocate... the thing about print conversations is that anyone can read a tone in to something that wasn't intended... Is it possible this is a case of her reading too much in to it, being a little too sensitive? Taking some of the things you said too personally instead of as statements of what you believe? and need to know about the kitties new home.

Lunacy, I think what is upsetting so many is the comment that cats are a "dime a dozen". I do not know there is any other way to read that than "I can get a cat elsewhere, I do not have to follow your rules".

cocoalily · Sep 25, 2007

I didn't care one bit for the part about being protective with dogs but not with cats. Cats are just as important as dogs, and even though they are 'easier to come by' then dogs are, this is YOUR cat we're talking about! Why wouldn't you be protective about her!?

I agree with others above...this person is probably not worthy of getting any of your cats. You want someone who will care for them as much as you do, not someone who thinks of them as being 'a dime a dozen'.

emmylou · Sep 25, 2007

If I'm reading the original post correctly, the Ali who made these comments is just a friend and not the same as the person who is wanting to adopt the cats.

dauntingfire · Sep 25, 2007

The fact that she thinks cats are cheap commodities is horrible!

Seriously, tell her you'd rather your cats go to a home where they are loved, not a home where they are a 'dime a dozen'. Love & companionship is not founded on good breeding!

>:[ Oh I am STEAMING mad now. Just imagine how she's going to treat these cats when she thinks they are a dime a dozen? Will she dump them if they get troublesome? Will she refuse to pay for vet care because they aren't pure bred?

::HUFFS:: You should write a contract, I don't see any problem with that.

graciecat · Sep 25, 2007

Like someone else said, I get the impression that this Ali person isn't the one who wants the cats she's just a "friend".

Frankly, with an attitude like that I wouldn't be calling her "Friend" any more...I can think of a few things I would call her though!

You're not going overboard at all and if the person who wants the cats won't agree to your terms, then by all means follow your heart and don't let her have them.

danimarie · Sep 25, 2007

God I love this board.

I feel so much better.

I was like in tears all day feeling as if people think I'm a controlling monster who only wants things my way, when I just really want to make sure these little ones have the best possible lives they can.........and if I can't find anyone else who is willing to do that for them, then it is MY responsibility to give it to them, as I brought them into my home and nurtured them through birth and on.

THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!!

catzrule40 · Sep 25, 2007

dani, don't think for a minute that you're a controlling monster,you in no way shape or form are a monster. You're not going overboard. As for your so called friend shes isnt a friend at all. These kittens are your family and you have a right to protect them any way you can. I have a friend whos kind of wierd that way too saying dumb things and such. At first she was going to adopt David(my new kitten) but her bratty daughter is scared of cats, thank God. I could never trust her with David, she cant even take care of her daugther, this ali person sounds just like that. i would'nt trust her either. cats a dime a dozen well poeple like her are a dime a dozen! a also the poeple who gave david to me, thier husband and father where deathly allergic, and they where heart broken when giving him up but they will visit him from time to time. I'm so glad to have david love him so much he is my son after all!!! Also have shadow and my roomate has mittens. Shadow is my daughter and mittens my niece

God Bless you Dani,Donna

tigerlord · Sep 25, 2007

Give her my regards
__|__

danimarie · Sep 26, 2007

Originally Posted by TigerLord

Give her my regards
__|__

what does that mean???

dauntingfire · Sep 26, 2007

lol, I think this _|_ is like giving the finger? Not sure though.

TigerLord! help me out here!

dani_elle · Sep 26, 2007

Aw, it's perfectly reasonable to be worried about where your kittens are ending up! Thats why I wanted most of mine to go to friends and family, so that I could still watch them grow up, and so that I knew they were being cared for properly. I've never met two cats that are the same, so they are certainly not a dime a dozen.. and it seems to me this friend may be a dog-lover. Which is fine.. but ALL animals are valuable. I think if she didn't want to respect your wishes for the kitties that you love, then she SHOULD go elsewhere to get a cat.

Having gone through two litters in the last year.. well, I know I cried every time I gave a kitten to a knew home, even if I knew they were getting the best of care. Why, because we helped raise them from little squishy pink things.

We get maternal about our kittens, and that's okay!

I agree with Lunacy, maybe.. that maybe the tone was lost a little in the fact that it's typed. Maybe the person was even having a bad day or something. In any case, I wouldn't worry about it.

lioness · Sep 26, 2007

Just my two cents.

I think you are being completely reasonable! It is a big responsibility to take care of kittens and then try to find them a loving home. There is nothing wrong with asking questions about a potential home. I would be a little worried if you DIDN'T ask any questions - then it's like you just don't care where they go.

A dime a dozen... that's a sad outlook. There are a lot of cats without homes but there's plenty of dogs too that are homeless. I'm only saying that because it seemed like she was comparing the two.. which was just a little weird. There's just too many homeless animals period. But anyways!

Think your doing great! Keep it up.

catzrule40 · Sep 26, 2007

Im just wondering where she will get a cat. With her attitude, I don't think she should be able to get one from a shelter either. What will she do when the kittens get on her nerves?? Pass them off to another??? Dani, it is so reasonable for you to ask her questions. The animal shelters in my area put poeple thru a questionnarre b4 they will give the cat to anyone. Donna

tigerlord · Sep 26, 2007

Its a way of badly drawing a middle finger

Overboard??? Vent about kittens and other's views..........

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