Stepping out of the past

I recently entered yet another writing competition. This time, the writing (as it has to be true) was a catharsis for me as it dealt with what happened to me long ago and a secret I had been carrying for years.

That being said, if your curiousity is peaked- here is the link. Just remember what curiousity did to the cat!

Secrets

Wow, that brought tears to my eyes Mary Anne. It is very well written and it brings out a lot of emotions. You should win this - its very good. Good luck!

that was a very moving story. I know that kind of pain will never go away, it can only dull with time. Thanks for sharing.

Very nice Mary Anne!It takes courage to expose yourself through words!

Exposed in black and white and unveiled for all the world to see, it is like showing the naked self in its truest form. Thank you for sharing a part of you we would not have seen otherwise.

Reading your journey through writing is pushing me into exploring myself once again through the written word. It's been a long time since I took pen to paper but your edging me towards that direction!

Thanks you guys- I recently hooked up with a wonderful writer and she is now my mentor too. I was sending her my stuff and she was going oh, okay, uh huh, yeah that's okay yeah, good stuff! LOL

Then she asked me a question only God could have prompted her to she asked me if there was some pain in my past that I was avoiding facing full on and head on- a "dark place" a place someone goes to without wanting to and learns so much along the way. (She lost twin girls way back when as well) I answered her honestly and told her about Jeremy and the drug use and the shame. This was her reply to me:

"My God, woman; you've lived through the kind of thing that a good fiction writer can't come up with. And did you happen to notice the passion that was unleashed in your telling of the tale? Well, I did. That's what you're supposed to be writing about. You've been fooling around with cutesy things and trying to make that work. They haven't worked because your soul wasn't in it. Your soul has been pushing you towards writing your true story. And that can be poetry, a series of articles, stories or eventually, a book.

Now it makes sense to me. I knew that there was a writer in there, but you were only showing dribs and drabs of the true passion and talent. If you want to enter contests or submit stuff-- this is where you need to start. Let others learn through your experiences and in so doing, you will heal that part of yourself."

Now get busy! :-)
D


So- I have been getting busy, I wrote Secrets in the matter of about an hour and it just flowed out of me. I sent it to her expecting her to chop the hell out of it- and she was thrilled and had no editing comments but a few commas out of place- and my worse problem working with to and too.

So now, it is out of my soul and I feel refreshed, and though the people in this competition edited my work and changed some spellings to help with their British audience, for the most part, it is the first chapter of my life. It was a big writers block I had been carrying around for over twenty years- and the release I feel is magnificent now! And now, for the FIRST time since I have been writing, my work is being discovered by major people and it is wonderful. If it helps one woman or husband who has suffered the shattering loss Don and I suffered, then it was worth it to chase it out and confront it,and yes, I feel healed.

Mary Anne -

All I could think after I read that was WOW. You are a very touching and descriptive writer.

I guess confession is good for the soul. I'm glad you could write about it.

Yea I have to agree with this writer, you have an amazing talent. I am soo glad that you are getting recognised!

Holy moly. What can you say to that?
I had a miscarriage a few years back and I suffered just the way you described, except my release was liquor, cigarettes and diet pills. But to lose a child so close to term, My God Woman, you truly are amazing. I'm glad that you finally let the "secret" out of the closet and are letting that wound heal.I am here and always will be to talk if you need someone.

Mary Ann, thank you for sharing that. I am so glad I decided to open this thread and read that. I am in tears for what you went through and that you kept it a secret for so long. I hope you are able to finally relieve those feelings through this beautiful piece. You should look to writing as you obviously have talent, and even more special that you realized it through writing about something so close to your heart.

Again, thank you for letting us in on your secret and experiencing what an amazing woman you are.

Mary Anne. It is so brave of you to finally confront your ghosts in such a way. It can take a lifetime to come to terms with such trauma in your life and to be able to look back at the cause and effect of such a tragedy clearly and rationally.

Your are intensely brave to document your story publically. As you know, someone very close to me went through a very similar experience, and they are only able to speak of it to one or two people, because although 23 years ago, the pain is still too much to bear.

For you to open your heart to the world is a big step in being able to come out of that dark place and live life to the full again.

Oh MaryAnne, your story was so moving and so very well written!!! I too was crying for you. That kind of pain is the kind that never fully goes away. Thank you for sharing such a part of your heart! I also posted about it there. **HUGS**

Once again you show your amazing talents! The story brought tears to my eyes. I am glad that you were finally able t o get that out and use your writing as a catharsis.

Such an unassuming little "Post Subject" for a thread that packs such a big wallop.

I'm so sorry you've had to wait so long to heal. Writing is a very powerful tool, and I've kept a journal from a very young age. "Writing," however, was never my goal.

Your goal, somewhere along the way, became writing. Now that you've combined the two (the painful with the powerful), you'll be unstoppable.



BTW - I'm glad you trust us all enough to share this. I'm sure you know you needn't worry about what we think about you with the drugs and all - we've all got our ghosts. My admiration always rises for all who overcome obstacles in their lives, it is not diminished by the obstacle that was in the way. YOU GO GIRL!!!!

BTW - I'm really good with "to and too," and I know what a split infinitive is. I know how to write sentences without ending them with prepositions - etc. You can always count on me for help if you need it!