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considering a second cat but.........

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
abigail is my princess baby dream cat and I dont want to do anything that makes her unhappy or stressed. but a second cat would be nice- maybe a black one, i love black cats. It's irrational. I mean she is joined to me at the hip and never lacks for attention. In fact the only time she doesnt seem to have to be in the same room as I is around dusk when she goes into the garden level to hunt for spiders. Abi follows me to the bathroom and sits on the ledge of the tub while I bathe.

the last time she met another free roaming cat was when she was in the humane shelter two years ago.

I have read lots of stuff about how to introduce another cat but what if it compromises her happiness? HELP !!!
post #2 of 15
A quite young male (who she could boss around at the beginning) would be the best choice, but don't expect 'no' trouble, because it's not realistic, though I've been very lucky that way in length of time. You'll need to first keep the new one in its own room with water, box, etc. for ~ a week so it feels safe and has claim to some territory. When you first let him out, keep Abi somewhere else, so he can get oriented to main parts of the place himself, realize there's another cat there, and be ready to meet her. You must supervise all their mtgs until you're sure (more than a day!) Abi won't eat him for lunch (a 4-6 mo. old about to be or just neutered might be a good idea, big enough to defend himself to some extent, young enough to heed Abi - though he might just think she's a great stuffed toy and harrass the heck out of her!). There will be some tiffs, but that's the way it is with cats, and in a few days they should be ok, but there are no guarantees.
post #3 of 15
That is really nice that you are thinking of adopting a black kitty- where I live a lot of shelters will not let black cats or kittens get adopted in October because of halloween. So they really need homes, the sooner the better.

I agree with Larke that a young or teenager male kitty that does not have a dominant personality would be good for your cat. If your cat does not have much play or energy in her, then look for one who is also low key (this would then not be a young or teenager most likely). Make sure and ask about traits that will match to your cat in this way.

Giving the new kitty its own safe space is also good for it to adjust well and be as stress free as possible, not to mention your own kitty's need to feel safe and secure.

Also when you introduce them be sure to mix their bedding so they have each other's scent on them and are familiar with it; and give them treats when they sniff each other through the door and if possible, initiate play sessions through the door too, so they associate each other with good things.
post #4 of 15
Well I will tell you that females do tend to be more territorial and take longer to adjust to a new cat - especially if you bring in another female cat. I'm assuming that she is spayed.

If you consider another cat - maybe look for a laid-back male kitten under 8 months old and neutered. Most females will accept another male before another female.
post #5 of 15
I think all cats need a companion. I have two. However, when I think of the extra work involved such as grooming, changing & vacumming litter, hair all over, feeding, etc. my two are worse than kids. Sweetie will not leave me alone when I'm on the computer. She sits on the keys and demands I pet her. Forget about reading the morning paper, she lays on the article I'm reading. With all that said I love them both. Yes, you need another kittie for your cat. It would be her cat not yours. She'll adjust and be more happy.
post #6 of 15
I have introduced three females separately into my house, I got Harriet first from the shelter, then six month later Molly, they hissed abit and it took me quiet a lot of patience re introductions, then 2 month ago I introduced a 2yr old ragdoll just did it really slowly, but they have all settled well, I think personality as well as my ragdoll has no desire to be top cat, Harriet still has her top spot.

Good luck in your decision.
post #7 of 15
I was in a similar situation.

I toyed with the idea on/off for about a year before deciding to add a second cat. I eventually decided I didn't want my precious baby going through life without the joy of interacting with another cat. I wanted her to have someone who understood her on a different level than we humans ever could.

I knew there was a risk of her not liking the new cat specifically or her just not liking any cat in general and like you, I didn't want to do anything that would upset her!

I think what was important is that we tried to get a cat to match her personality...not ours. After all, we wanted someone to be HER friend, not ours.

It worked out very well for us. A second cat was definitely a good thing for our princess.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained! =)
post #8 of 15
I consider a second cat for Smidge - and really worried about possible ramifications.

Best advice I received here: take in a cat to foster. If it works out, and they become great friends, adopt him outright.
post #9 of 15
I feel the exact same way. I would love another cat, but am afraid my relationship with Trout will be different
post #10 of 15
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by Trouts mom View Post
I feel the exact same way. I would love another cat, but am afraid my relationship with Trout will be different

That's exactly why aafter doing more thought and talking more to my husband I am going to let Abi be th eone and only feline Goddess in the home. I would hate any personality change or rivalry to effect our closeness. I guess I will have to remain her playmate for now, poor me LOL
post #11 of 15
You may have made your decision, but I do agree with the others who said that a new cat would be GREAT for Abi.

Merlynn showed up at my doorstep at 8 weeks old. She was my first cat and was spoiled rotten - and still is. After being on here, I thought about getting a playmate [b]for her.[b] I was very worried she wouldn't act the same toward me. I worried that she'd be upset by the newcomer. But I had to do it because I knew that in the long run, she'd be better off.

This new cat can provide for Abi like you cannot. She can relate to her. Play with her. Jump off walls with her. Slide down hallways with her. Stare at her when she's in the potty box.

I decided to adopt a younger male kitten (Piccolino) to be Merlynn's friend. The foster mother told me to give it two weeks. And if by then, I wasn't okay with the new guy, she would take him back, no questions asked.

Needless to say, I was worried sick the first week. Merlynn was upset and didn't want to cuddle with me. She absolutely hated Piccolino. My BF told me to relax and they would work it out. After only 2 weeks they were running around like they had known eachother for years. They groom eachother, they cuddle, they eat together. They love eachother.

ONE VERY IMPORTANT THING TO REMEMBER - if you choose to get your baby a friend - is to choose a kitty that fits HER personality.

For example, Merlynn is more of a people-cat (she cuddles with me, greets me at the door, etc.). Pico is a cat-cat. He greets me, kind of, cuddles with me when I'm sleeping and don't notice but LOVES to be with Merlynn. Like someone said earlier, he's HER cat.

Please reconsider. Perhaps fostering a cat would be the way to go. Trust me! Your Abi will be the same with you and happier because there is someone there to relate to her.
post #12 of 15
Hi! Let me first say that it is awesome that you are considering, respecting, and concerned for her reaction to bringing in another kitty! This is, in my opinion, the essence behind a mutual, loving relationship between people and their pets. It is important to trust your instincts and understanding of your kitty and your relationship with them. This in so many ways assures a smoother introduction and positive kitty companionship!
Also like to say from personal experience, some kitties do find complete content and fulfillment having the palace to themselves and the people all theirs! My beloved Pandi could not stand any other living thing (besides plants) in her home with me. She would even growl and hiss at my boyfriend, my roomate that she knew from a kitten! I also adopted her when I had an older kitty, Chleo, that passed when she was 2.......... by the way, she was solid black!
It really should be based on your feelings of the situation over all.
post #13 of 15
A year ago, I was in your shoes. My fiance and I even went to a few shelters, coming home empty. Summer was an only child for 3 years! Like Abigail, she had only was around other cats at the rescue I got her from. She reacted badly at the vets. We wanted to get another cat...preferably a young male. None called out to us. We kind of forgot about searching for awhile until there was a rescue at Petco (we were there to get some more fish). I asked about the kitties' they had temperaments. Chevy's sounded the most compatible with Summer's. He was 4 months old. When I held him, he put his head on my shoulder and purred away. We were sold! Summer was sold on the idea too after 3 days. We did the proper intros, and she soon realized he was harmless (she was more scared than anything). When and if you do decide to get another kitty, get a male kitten that has a personality that matches Abigail's. Don't be afraid to ask about temperament. They appreciate giving a kitty a good, compatible home.
post #14 of 15
Hi there! I'm new, but just had to jump in with my experience in this kind of situation. Bingley adopted me last January. He was starving and moved right in and has been very happy there. I knew all along that I wanted a companion for him since I live alone and work all day. He was extremely loving with me but quite wary of visitors. When I had him checked out by the Vet, I found out that he was about 2 years old and had already been neutered. Other than that, I know nothing of his history. I was quite concerned about introducing a new cat because I didn't want him to feel like I was replacing him. I was concerned that he might try to run away or be less loving with me. However, my apartment manager (when telling me that it was time for him to become an indoor-only cat, as I was slowly working him towards that) informed me that he was visiting another cat in the building so I knew he was "social" with other cats.

About 6 weeks ago I came across a male 4 month-old kitten at a local cat adoption group. He was so mellow and very sweet and immediately stole my heart. Well, I was wrong about the mellow part but he has been very sweet. The first week I was very nervous as Bingley seemed a little "off" and even miffed with me. He wanted nothing to do with the new cat and spent a lot of time in his bed (in my bedroom). I just carried on as normal and within 3 days they were eating together. However, I still put Pippin (the new kitten) in "his" area when I was not there. By the end of the first week, I was able to leave them out together when I wasn't home.

To make this way-too-long story a bit shorter, they are getting along fine now. Pippin is VERY fond of bathing Bingley and I've never seen him happier than when he is being bathed by Pippin. I would swear he looks at me and thinks, "you never did this for me." They are not sleeping together, but they do eat and play together. The best part is that when I have people over and Pippin is so friendly and loving to everyone, Bingley has in turn become much more social. I still separate them at night (mainly because Pippin will not settle down and I've got to get some sleep). Bingley really seems to love this time when he and I are sequestered in my bedroom. He is more loving with me than he has ever been.

I now could not imagine my life without "my boys." However, after saying all that, I know how scary it can be to introduce a new creature into the home. Things will change. I saw it change for the better.
post #15 of 15
It's reassuring to hear these stories, as I will be bringing a new little boy into our home in 2 months, and my husband and I were worried about the reaction Ares will have to the new kitten. (Ares is about to be neutered and is 6 months old.) He is super loving, active and is the center of attention at our house. I feel it is important that he has a kitty life, but both my husband and I worry that a new kitten might change his personality.
I also had a heart attack when reading an article on a new kitten being kept separate from the main household for a month! It is really comforting to hear that although our new boy will be separate for a few days, there is a good chance that things will turn out well, and in a relatively short period of time. I also have a question: When is the best time to have the first face-to-face meeting?

Thanks - and best of luck to you and Abigail!

Becca, Ares, (and little boy)
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