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I don't know WHAT they're doing now.

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 
Okay. So we're headed into Merfy and Isosceles: Living together, Month three.

I'm still not sure if they're getting along.

Merfy growls and hisses at Isosceles whenever she gets a chance. I've never heard such guttural, nasty sounding noises come out of her before. Right now she's on a particular chair in the living room (we call it her King of the Mountain spot) and waiting, anxiously, for Isosceles to come back into the room.

When he does, he'll jump up to the top of the chair, she'll growl and make terrible noises, they'll bat at each other...and then he'll lie down at the base of the chair for a while. After that he gets up, runs away, and she awaits his return.

Neither has physically harmed the other, btw. Isosceles NEVER growls or hisses, and no claws are ever involved. In fact, he sometimes starts licking her face once she's too tired to continue.

I don't know what to do. I don't know if they're playing or what. She actually LOOKS for him to bat at her tail or jump at her in some way, and if they're both tired they'll sleep near each other in relative piece. (NOT touching. She'll get angry and smack him if he touches her.) They aren't doing anything else wrong. No litter box problem, they rub against each other when they want food...I'm just sick of hearing her growl and snarl like that. My fiancee just thinks she has no idea how to properly socialize. (he's had multiple cats before. He said Isosceles is acting very normally, but Merfy's growling is unusual.) She bites when she's purring sometimes, and can be very hostile unprovoked. She's highly territorial.

Background on Merfy:
She was removed from her mother at 3 weeks old by someone who sealed her in a cardboard box and left her to die. A park ranger found her, she was bottle raised, and has had terrible separation anxiety. Once I came home from vacation to find she had scratched giant gashes in front of both ears. The vet told me she'd done it since I'd left her. (Having Isosceles seems to have at least alleviated this. She hasn't cut herself since we found him.)

I know that most of the time she and Isosceles get along. When I got home from work today he'd drug a box from a few rooms over into the middle of the kitchen. She was sitting in it and he was running around and around her. Both were purring. I don't know what that was about.

To be honest, this is the best she's ever gotten on with another cat. He's been very patient with her, but I'm worried that, eventually, he'll start snarling, too. Sometimes I see hope, such as the thing with the box, and yesterday when they slept on the couch together, and when they roll in front of each other, and it has gotten better since he got neutered...but the GROWLING! We just feel tired every time we hear it.
post #2 of 4
I know it is hard to hear at times but I think they are just working out the ground rules.

When I first moved in with my husband, my cat Petunia would have a hissy fit when she was near Much. But over the years, they came up with a complicated truce for living together.

Lucy still has not really accepted Carly though Carly will walk up to her all of the time. Lucy will run by Carly and whack at her, hissing the whole time. Distracting Lucy sometimes helps.

If there isn't blood being drawn, then I think you are ok.
post #3 of 4
You should read this thread and I think my post on this thread completely relates to your kitties!
Your description of her dominant behavior and disposition is right and she is constantly reminding him she is the boss at the same time taunting him to play and challenge her, and he seems to thoroughly enjoy this! It sounds like a healthy relationship amongst them so far, as you mentioned this is the first positive relationship she has had and she isn't showing signs of anxiety with her new play mate! Kittens separated from their moms at very young age most likely have some anxious behavior as adults, over eating, aggression towards animals or people, OCD, anxiety disorders, very vocal....so on.
I would keep an eye on them, can I ask how old they are? It is also important to have interactive play every day with them, this helps create a common and drain if any negative energy from them.
post #4 of 4
I agree, it sounds like healthy behavior. I would give them treats when they are around each other and like cheylink said, I would make sure and play with them both together so they associate each other with positive experiences.

I agree that the growling is her dominance while at the same time she is curious and engaged by the fact that he is there. I think overall it is a good thing.
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