Pat & Alix, thank you – I’d love it if you’d share your recipes!
And y’know, I cringe every time I tear open a sweetener packet... I know they’re bad stuff. One good thing I’ve done just in the past week or so is give up ice cream – sugar-free ice cream isn’t very satisfying anyway, so I think I can live without that. A nice chilled nectarine is actually more delicious!
Y’know, the psychological element is so powerful – I’ve wanted the ice cream because I perceive it as an indulgence, whereas the nectarine is something that’s good for me. But I’m changing that thinking now. I've always appreciated the simple purity of good fresh fruit, but I haven't always been able to afford it -- so now I'm spending the money and looking upon that as the indulgence.
I’ll check out that book, too. Thank you!
Katteh, that’s really good to hear! I’m at the point now where even just a few pounds can make a big difference in how I look. It’s as if there’s a certain level at which I can tolerate myself, but one more pound and I’m just beyond revolting! So maybe that will help me find the motivation you found. Thank you for your encouragement!
Lookingglass, good questions...
1. I’m not sure what my goal weight should be. I’m 5’4” and small-to-medium in frame. I’ve been thinking in terms of losing 100 pounds, which would put me at 135, but according to the statistics, the average lapband or sleeve patient has lost up to 65% of his excess weight at 3 to 5 years out... so I don’t know where to aim or what to expect. That’s something I’ll have to ask the people at the clinic, I guess.
2. I’ve actually had a couple of consultations with nutritionists over the years, and last year I went with my father through a series of twelve diabetes counseling sessions with nurses and nutritionists. I feel pretty well-educated – I just haven’t put most of what I’ve learned into practice on any consistent basis.
I have to admit that part of my problem is being so busy trying to make sure my parents eat right that I just throw my hands up and forget it when it comes to myself. It’s a constant struggle to get my father to limit his carb intake and to accept his many medicines... and an almost impossible battle to get my mom to eat real food at all – she’s a tiny little rail, and she eats mostly candy and ice cream (a habit that started when she quit smoking in 1987). So I don’t have the mental energy left to put any thought into my own meals, y’know?
That’s my excuse, but I’ve got to stop using it.
3. As for the emotional journey... y’know, I really think I have my head on straight about that. I could be wrong, of course, but – well, here’s the odd thing:
Sometimes when I’m out somewhere, if I’m dressed nicely and having a good hair day and feeling physically well, I find myself just radiating happiness, y’know? I walk along smiling at people and just loving life, and at those times, I feel so totally together that it’s as if I forget that I’m fat! It shocks me when I glimpse myself in a store window and remember what I actually look like!
But the realization doesn’t keep me from feeling that I-love-the-whole-world feeling. And I guess that’s a healthy thing.
So I kinda don’t think I’ll end up in the reverse mode, feeling fat even if I'm not, y'know? And anyway, looking better is only a small part of what’s behind this for me. I just want to live longer! So even if I do end up with the mind of a fat person inside a normal body... that’s fine with me, as long as I’m healthy.
What an amazing achievement, to lose more than a hundred pounds. You say you can remember the first day you decided not to live this way anymore – I’d love to know more about that! Were you able to stand by that decision consistently from then on? If not, how did you get back on track?
When I posted this thread, I never dreamed so many people would give so much of themselves in trying to help -- you guys are so good.
The day I knew I wanted to loose weight was the day I watched Super Size Me. When the guy who was eating McDonalds for a month said that he felt a high after eating it and then fell back into a depression. I knew exactly how he felt. I didn't want that anymore. That was almost four years ago.
When I was doing my weight loss I did it as a system of rewards. Every time I lost five pounds I would give my self a hot fudge Sunday. Talk about motivation!