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Will they or won't they get along?

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 
Need advice from mutiple cat owners. We have a 6 yr. old male neutered cat. We have had him since he was about 8 weeks old. Indoor only. Never has even seen another cat. Semi-everything. Semi likes to play for about 1 minute. Semi likes to be petted for about 2 minutes. Likes to near you, but really a semi-lap cat. Not friendly to strangers, will sniff and walk off. But we can pick this cat up and do what we want with him, my 13 yr old daughter picks him up and carries him around like a baby and he just looks like a limp noodle. She can jump at him and tussel with him and he takes it, no problem. He loves to only cuddle at night in bed with us.
We got another kitten last weekend but brought it home took to vet and found out it had ringworm, hubby said no, he didn't want anyone of us catching it and especially Abby and could not let this 8 week old kitten be confined by itself for 6-8 weeks. I called the lady we got the kitten from and she offered to take the kitten back and so we let the kitten go back. I have disinfected EVERYTHING in the guest bathroom where we kept her for a couple of days. Abby never saw the kitten.
We so much want to get another kitten for all of us and we have the opportunity to adopt another young cat...it is a female about 1 year old and is spayed. She is being fostered right now. After reading several post on here about introducing them, i feel we can do that. My question is...is a 1year old o.k. to go with or should I look for a younger kitten taking into account Abby's personality? The 1 year old has been with other cats and gets along good with other cats and children. What is anyone's opinion on this?
post #2 of 9
I think he will be perfectly fine with a 1 year old. Based on your description of him, it may be that he relates more to other cats than to people. Some cats get along better with people and some with other cats, and he may just be the latter.

If it were me the only major thing I would be assessing is whether your cat has an alpha personality and what sort of personality the new cat will have. The thing you want to avoid is pairing a super-alpha kitty with one who is really submissive regardless of which is which.

Find out from the person you are adopting from, what sort of personality the new cat has. It is hard to tell from your description whether your boy is alpha or simply well adjusted. He does not sound meek.
post #3 of 9
Neutered male cats are usually fine , its existing females who resent newcomers! This is my experience anyway with a couple of introductions (I have 2 kittens & 2 cats at mo).

It's good advice to judge the new cat's personality as no cat with an extreme personality (very aggressive/dominant or docile/passive) is going to get on easily with other cats. A kitten can be easier to introduce because the existing cat doesn't see them as so much of a threat as they are not sexually mature, but it is perfectly possible to introduce other ages. The key thing is patience!

I think that the new cat sounds lovely, and you already know that she gets on well with other cats and children which makes her perfect In your case I think a one year old could well be a better choice, as the cat will have calmed down a little from being a manic kitten, and you already know her personality. Younger kittens need much more attention as they are full of energy and are just learning their social skills, it may want to play with Abby which *may* cause problems.

The only thing that I would say, is to try to put yourself into the mind of your Abby, and remember that for many years his routine has been with you and your home, which he enjoys all to himself . Hopefully you are lucky and he welcomes another playmate, but (at first) he may find this upsetting. You sound like a caring owner who's researched it well, and understands that he may need time and lots of love to adjust to the change in his lifestyle. Its a good idea to increase the vertical space in your home so that Abby has plenty of room to take a break.

Any photos?
post #4 of 9
I had a black cat that i rescued from its stray Mom at about 2 weeks old. So she was pretty dependant on me and secure with me... She didnt' like anyone else actually. She also had a wild streak in her. She was about a year old when I brought home a kitten. For some time after she really didn't care much for the kitten. She would play with her when it suited her but the rest of the time just didn't want to be bothered. Still, they never had "issue" with each other. Maybe some hissing at first, when they first met. They grew together and developed a mutual respect for each other and all was good for many years after. It makes me think too of when I first moved out of my parents house. Like most kids I went back about a zillion times...lol Every time I did I had those two cats. They had their own cat who was getting up there in age. What we would do is my cats weren't allowed every where their cat was. That way theirs still felt like she had control of the house. That role suited her very well and every one lived happily together. Whenever I bring a new pet home I put it in a room where I can close the door and usually the other animals in the house will go sniff the door... The next day I'd open the door and sit in the doorway and allow everyone to see each other... just slowly work the new addition into the house.... It takes a little time but is a whole lot easier than breaking up a cat fight I also make it a point to let the other pets smell the new pet on my hands.
post #5 of 9
Thread Starter 
Never thought about weather Abby is Alpha or just well adjusted. He never gets upset about anything, just more calm and cool, course he's never been challanged either. He is really a great cat, we have never had any problems out of him. (knock on wood) hehe!
Here is a couple of clues about him. When we had the kitten here for those couple of days, the kitten just cried and cried. Even though it was in the spare bedroom bathroom, you could hear it still. Only about twice did Abby perk up (but never went to the door) and listen for about 5 seconds then walked off. No reaction, nothing. Course it could have been the TV for all he knew.
Another time, my mother-in-law came for visit, brought her little pug dog. First time of course the dog ran straight after Abby and she ran off. This only happened about 2 times. Then Abby came out, sat in the den and the dog came after him and then POP, Abby slapped the dog on the head and never even stood up. Course the dog ran off like Abby had just shot him. Then after that Abby went on about her business. The dog just stood there and barked at him, no reaction from Abby. Abby really just looked at it like "you dumb little mut" hehe! but if dog got too close, Abby would just pop him.
So based on those reactions, Alpha or well adjusted? I am calling the foster family today to make arrangements to meet the new cat.
Thank you so much for all of your advice, really needed, I expect some tension at first but will take the time it needs, but I absolutely do not want a disaster for both the cats.
post #6 of 9
Thread Starter 
Just got off the phone with the foster dad. The cat is not 1 year old, but is 3 years old (mix up I guess). He said that she would not work for all of us because she is very dominate. Oh, well, we will keep trying and find the perfect girl for us and Abby. I think that a cat age 6 months to about 1 year old would work for Abby.
post #7 of 9
That's too bad.

It sounds to me like Abby won't have much trouble adjusting to any kitty you bring home. He sounds pretty laid back.
post #8 of 9
I hope you don't mind me barging in on your thread, there seemed to be so many questions along this line I didn't want to start a new thread.

This is my first post!

We have a 6yr old neutered male who is a real sweetheart (George) and in the winter he's inside with us about 23 1/2 hours a day! We have just addopted a 4 month kitten (Marcel) who turned up on our doorstep. I had great hopes for them getting along because George has got used to our 2yr old dog and we often find him asleep in the garage with other cats from the neighbourhoood.

We did all the correct things to introduce them. George just ignors Marcel and growls at him if he looks at him, Marcel of course won't stop chasing him around and trying to steal his food. The problem is that George hardly comes in anymore, just twice a day to eat and thats it. It seems that he's just growling continually and generally uneasy. After reading the advice here I have bought the Feliway diffuser. I guess my question is how long was it before people started noticing a difference in behaviour? Also do you think I should be locking George in for half an hour or so at a time? He's staying in so little i'm not sure if he's getting chance to breath the Feliway in.

I'd be really grateful for any advice/reassurance!
Thanks, Claire
post #9 of 9
Dear Claire,
I am going through the same problem, I have not had cats before, & 3 years ago we move to the country, and I needed them for mousers, I have 4, (all spayed, 3 girls 1 boy) my most recent addition to the family is a 1-2 year old spayed female, they all are pretty much close in age 2 - 3 1/2 years old. One of the females will not get along with the new cat at all, she hisses & growls at her, and now has started to hiss & growl at the othere exstiting cats? It has been 5 weeks, and same behavior, I guess they are not going to be buddies, but I wish they would just tolterate each other, we have 5 acres, so they have room. I've tried bring them in the house to eat toghter & be around each other, that last about 30 minutes then the new cat goes to the door wanting out, I guess I'll just keep trying this for a while & see, the other cats love the new cat, so I wish for Dix to take to her. When outdoors Dix does not want to come around to even be near Kallie, and if kallie sees her she chases her, hopefully meaning that she wants to play, but I think Dix thinks she's trying to run her off. I've had Dix since she was 3 months old, so this is her home, if she would just "let" Kallie know that, then it would be over & fine. All I know is cats are funnnyyy! Good luck
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