Needed to rant...

I've had such a bad last few days that I just needed to rant. It all has to do with my ex. First off, I'll give you a little history. He refuses to pay child support since 1) he doesn't believe he should have to pay more than $100 a month since he just bought a new car and figures that its more improtant, and 2) he believes that I was cheating on him and the child is not his(boy is he in for a surprise when he finds out that I wasn't )
All through the pregnancy, only two phone calls. Then he calls the day I gave birth to well at me because I didn't call him and he had to find out through his father(my mother called his father to let him know) Then I don't get another phone call until two weeks later(didn't even mention the baby in the phone call. I had to bring him up) He saw the baby once (and boy was that horrible!!) he smoked right in front of the baby, even though I had told him that the baby has been wheezing alot and not to smoke around him, he also showed almost no interest in the baby, and right when my mother and I were ready to leave, he showed his jack russell terrier (who is very jelous and has actually killed one of his cats) right into the baby's face and said "here monkey, give the baby a kiss!!" Good thing my mother pulled Angelus away just in time.
Then I don't get another phone call for another month. I was busy at the time, so I asked him to call back in an hour. He didn't call back until last Saturday, when he told me that he was comming down next weekend and that he wanted to see the baby. He then asked if he could take me out to dinner, and when I told him that I couldn't because I had the baby, duh! He asked me if I could just leave it somewhere!!! Obviously I told the freak no, an d told him that he could see the baby at my mother's house on saturday, and that he can stay all day if he likes (little does he know that if he does do this, he will be changing all the dirty diapers) He then said that he wasn't sure if he wanted to because he doesn't like my father, and asked if I could just sit in the mall with the baby all day instead! Is he serious!?
Needless to say, this guy is very irressponsible, lazy, and crazy. I'm taking him to court soon for child support, and he told me that he's going to try to sue for full custody(Even though he can't afford to pay me $100 a month), whereas I'm going for suppervised visitation rights(sinces he's not trustworth and I fear for my childs life around him)
I'm trying to be civilized around him for my sons sake, but its so freaking hard
Sorry this is so long, I just really needed to rank!

You need a good lawyer and DOCUMENT everything in writing. I'd put the child support order thru his work where they take it out automatically and send it to you so you can be sure to get it.

Do not rely on him to hand over the money every month. They will base it on his salary - not the fact that he has a new car and can't "afford" it. But you need a lawyer so you get a fair deal for the child. AND put in a temporary custody order now - whoever has that order usually winds up with full custody.

Yikes! I'm so glad to hear that he's an ex and your away from him even though he's being a pain with everything. He doesn't sound like good news to neither you or the baby.

no, he's not. He's very racist and sexist and I just hope that my son doesn't wind up like that.
I have a meeting with a lawyer in a few weeks. I'll make sure to document whatever he says so that I have the dates and everything. I'm sure the lawyer will mention the custody issue, but if not I'll be sure to bring that up. I know it sounds mean, but I hope that for some reason, be it now or in the near future, that he is denied the rights to see the child. I know that children need a father, but i think that he will actually do more damage than good.
My mother told me to just let it go for now, and the first time the baby comes home with a diaper rash from not being changed, or any bruises or cuts, that I can go and sue for full custody (which I'm almost possitive will happen) He's already told me that he doesn't want to change diapers. He can't even clean up hard dog poo.

Originally Posted by gothicangel69

no, he's not. He's very racist and sexist and I just hope that my son doesn't wind up like that.
I have a meeting with a lawyer in a few weeks. I'll make sure to document whatever he says so that I have the dates and everything. I'm sure the lawyer will mention the custody issue, but if not I'll be sure to bring that up. I know it sounds mean, but I hope that for some reason, be it now or in the near future, that he is denied the rights to see the child. I know that children need a father, but i think that he will actually do more damage than good.
My mother told me to just let it go for now, and the first time the baby comes home with a diaper rash from not being changed, or any bruises or cuts, that I can go and sue for full custody (which I'm almost possitive will happen) He's already told me that he doesn't want to change diapers. He can't even clean up hard dog poo.

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If I were you, I would try to keep that child as far away from your ex as possible. Every child should have a father figure while growing up, but it really doesn't sound that he will fit the bill. I would agree to supervised visits, but please don't let that baby alone with him. And the fact that your mother says to wait until he actually hurts him, THEN sue, really surprises me. Why would a grandmother want to put her grandchild in a situation where he would most likely get hurt, or at the very least, neglected just to have a basis for a case?

I agree talking to a lawyer is the best thing. Try to get it set up that he only has supervised visits, at least until the child support is settled. I have no experience with this kind of thing, but I'm just worried about your baby!

so am I, but my mother told me that she was talking to a lawyer, and they said that unless he actually does something to harm the child, the court will do nothing.

That is true - unless its drugs or alcohol involved or abuse - and the child is endangered. But it takes a heck of a lot of documentation to prove all this and its costly.

It would be nice if parents acted like adults and thought of the best interests of the child instead of being children themselves in some of this cr*p! Unfortunately in most cases one parent has sense, the other doesn't.