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The Worst Movie EVER!

post #1 of 24
Thread Starter 
Last night I saw the worst movie in my entire life. It proved two points: 1. My parents were right. 2. Never watch a movie produced by Topps Trading Cards.

I will now tell you all about Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie.

Set in 1987 there were specific things that I expected, and got. Casio 7200 keyboard music? Check. Bad 80's hair? Check. A montage? Check times three.

Now, I'd like you to keep in mind that this was a children's movie.

Seven creepy dolls pop out of a garbage can and start to reek havoc around a magic shop. Instead of freaking out and evacuating the entire city the main character decides to put them to work making his girlfriend's fashion line. That's right, he exploited them into making designer clothes. Then it gets worse. The seven creepy dolls start sining. Thankfully it's the only time they do it in the entire movie. On the other hand it starts the whole downward trend of the movie.

The seven creepy dolls feel that they needed to take a break after the singing and the exploitation so where do they decide to go? A biker bar. (keep reminding yourself it's a KIDS movie) After one of the dolls decides to eat the toes of the only sandal wearing biker I've ever seen they gain their respect. Apparently toe eating is a one way ticket into the Hells Angles.

I'd like to point out here that the plot gets... fuzzy. So if it doesn't make sense from here on out a thousand apologizes.

For some reason, the seven creepy dolls are threated with "The State Home For the Ugly". This is a place where humans are kept in cages because they are: Too Old, Too Fat, ect. As a note of interest here "The State Home For the Ugly" has better security than most jails. Right, because we wouldn't want ugly people getting out now would we?

The dolls are turned in for a bounty. (I know you forgot. It's a KIDS movie)

They are then freed with the help of the main character who solves his moral crisis and realizes that creepy doll labor is wrong, and the biker gang.

They all live happily ever after.
post #2 of 24
Thread Starter 
I forgot to add that my parents were right in not letting me see this movie as a kid.
post #3 of 24
That sounds so bad, I might have to watch it. Your description of it was hilarious.
post #4 of 24
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by JenC511 View Post
That sounds so bad, I might have to watch it. Your description of it was hilarious.
It's a rough one to get though. Trust me.

This is coming from the girl who's watched the MST3K version of Manos: The Hands of Fate five or six times.
post #5 of 24
I have to be honest here...I love watching horrible movies!!!
My friends and I will get together with a terrible old movie and just have a blast.
I think the worst one in my collection is "Santa Claus Conqures The Martians" LOL

So, I HAVE to see this one!
post #6 of 24
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jarvis View Post
I have to be honest here...I love watching horrible movies!!!
My friends and I will get together with a terrible old movie and just have a blast.
I think the worst one in my collection is "Santa Claus Conqures The Martians" LOL

So, I HAVE to see this one!
Ohhhh... I wonder if Netflicks has that one.

Tonight is Splatter University! I love really bad horror movies.

EDIT: THEY DO! I put it at the top of my que!
post #7 of 24
That sounds hysterical! It sounds like it would get my vote for worst. Right behind "Mars Attacks".
post #8 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jarvis View Post
I have to be honest here...I love watching horrible movies!!!
My friends and I will get together with a terrible old movie and just have a blast.
I think the worst one in my collection is "Santa Claus Conqures The Martians" LOL

So, I HAVE to see this one!
That was such a horrible movie!

My favorite B-movie is Masters of the Universe.
post #9 of 24
I remember Garbage Pail Kids!

I actually used to collect the cards
post #10 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pookie-poo View Post
That sounds hysterical! It sounds like it would get my vote for worst. Right behind "Mars Attacks".
And also right behind Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, which was actually better than it's sequel, Return of the Killer Tomatoes.

That is a freakish plot!
post #11 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by lookingglass View Post
Ohhhh... I wonder if Netflicks has that one.

Tonight is Splatter University! I love really bad horror movies.

EDIT: THEY DO! I put it at the top of my que!
Sweet! It's such a good/bad movie! LOL! I love those kinds of movies too!!!

Have you ever seen "Wild Zero"? It's Japanese Rock n Roll meets SPACE ZOMBIES!!! Epic Awesomness.
post #12 of 24
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jarvis View Post
Sweet! It's such a good/bad movie! LOL! I love those kinds of movies too!!!

Have you ever seen "Wild Zero"? It's Japanese Rock n Roll meets SPACE ZOMBIES!!! Epic Awesomness.
No, but you are tempting me!
post #13 of 24
No! I am editing myself! My favorite worst movie is "Killer Clowns from Outer Space"
post #14 of 24
Go to the IMDB page! It's one word. AWESOME!
post #15 of 24
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnneRiceBowl View Post
No! I am editing myself! My favorite worst movie is "Killer Clowns from Outer Space"
That's a creepy film... I was never a fan of clowns.
post #16 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pookie-poo View Post
That sounds hysterical! It sounds like it would get my vote for worst. Right behind "Mars Attacks".
Oh, I hated that movie!! I actually paid to see it!!
post #17 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pookie-poo View Post
That sounds hysterical! It sounds like it would get my vote for worst. Right behind "Mars Attacks".
Oh my goodness yes, they invented an new kind of bad for Mars Attacks.

I am a fan of low budget horror flicks so I have seen my share of stinkers, however the worst on in that classification would have to be Rawhead Rex you have to hold your nose for that one.
post #18 of 24
The description of the Garbage Pail kids movie is hilarious; I used to collect their stickers but I had no idea there was a film!! Sounds deliciously awful.

My favourite worst movie is Children of the Corm II as we watched it one night years ago while having a few drinks and I never laughed so much with my best friends
post #19 of 24
Was I the only person who LIKED Mars Attack? I thought it was hilarious. Maybe I have a twisted sense of humor
post #20 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jarvis View Post
Was I the only person who LIKED Mars Attack? I thought it was hilarious. Maybe I have a twisted sense of humor
Join the club, I LIKED that movie... yes, it's corny... but it's SUPPOSED to be... if you go in with tongue firmly planted in cheek, you do just fine...

Of course, this coming from the girl who watches Mystery Men repeatedly... I still want that black leather flame coat of Mr. Furious' ...

A.
post #21 of 24
That sounds soo weird!
post #22 of 24
My friend Rush and I are the only two people I know of who got "Ishtar." Everyone else thought it was dreadful, but we recognized it as sly satire.

I mean, what a premise: Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty as writers of pop songs with deeply meaningful baaaad lyrics! It's hilarious!

And gosh, right now, a comedy about the Middle East is just what this world needs.
post #23 of 24
I used to collect those cards. I had no idea it was a movie... intriguing...
I also loved Mars Attacks!
post #24 of 24
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pookie-poo View Post
That sounds hysterical! It sounds like it would get my vote for worst. Right behind "Mars Attacks".
For what Mars Attacks was trying to do I liked it. I just think that movie came out a generation too late.
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