Another update

sarahp

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Hey guys, just thought I'd drop in and give another update.

Physically, I'm doing ok. I'm healing and am moving much better, but some swelling has come up around one side of my incision and it's quite sore so need to go back to the obstetrician tomorrow to get it checked.

Emotionally, we're doing ok as well. It didn't all really sink in until the weekend what had happened. I guess everything happening in the hospital and the constant stream of visitors and doctors kept me occupied. Since we've been home though, we've had to pack away all the baby stuff, which was horrible. I had to put away the special outfit I'd picked out for Joshua to come home from hospital in as well as other special outfits we'd specially bought. We went back up to the hospital to properly say good-bye to him - the 2 times I saw him I was doped out from the drugs, then the second time we had other people in the room. After that we signed the cremation paperwork, and chose an urn (which is a wooden box with a teddy bear on it, and will have an engraved plaque). Nobody should ever have to go to a mortuary to choose a baby sized urn. It was so horrible.

We've also since had to deal with baby stuff arriving that we'd ordered, and relatives had sent from Australia before they found out about Joshua. Today we got something in the mail addressed to "The parents of Joshua Lawrence P". As well as that, I had a lady in my complex ask today if I'd had the baby yet and when was he due. We've had to explain what happened a few times to people and it doesn't get any easier.

Every day gets a little better though, and we'll never forget our baby, but we'll always remember him. I've actually managed to write all this without crying which is a big step...

To top it all off my cardiologist is talking about repairing my aortic aneurysm before we have another child, and we'll know more next week when we see him again, but I may be looking at open heart surgery early next year.

I don't think I'll be posting much any time in the near future. My life at the moment is revolving around healing, both physically and emotionally and there's nothing else I get excited about that I can share. I will be lurking though, and wanted to let everyone know that I really appreciate the support.

to you all
 

katachtig

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Take care of yourself, Sarah. We will miss you but will understand.
 

watchcaddy

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Really sorry about what you have to go through. I am glad you are doing better. Best wishes and take care as always.
 

catloverin_ks

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Sarah.

Please know we are all here for you! I totally understand you taking time away....totally understandable!

Please take care and know I am thinking of you.
 

MoochNNoodles

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Originally Posted by katachtig

Take care of yourself, Sarah. We will miss you but will understand.
I'm only a Pm away if you need an ear or a hug! Just take care of yourself and know you will stay in my thoughts and prayers!
 

dragoriana

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*hugs* i'm glad to hear you're doing a little bit better Sarah. There's no pressure for you to hang around here, just take the time you need for yourself and hubby *hugs*
 

rapunzel47

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Your priority just now is to take care of you, and tend your healing, both physical and emotional. I'm glad to hear that you're doing reasonably well, all things considered. Take your time, and know that there are many people here holding you in our thoughts. Visit when it feels right, and when it's time for you to be back among us more regularly, you'll know, and we'll be delighted to see you. Meanwhile, be gentle with yourself.


Peace.
 

rosiemac

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Sarah we fully understand that you need to take some time away with what your going through.

Like i say to the members in the bridge, just take it one day at a time.

I'm pleased you've popped in to see us, and hope we see you on again soon, because remember were all here to support you
 

lunasmom

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You and your husband are number one in your life, so address that. We'll miss you, but we totally understand
 

miss mew

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We all understand Sarah...take as much time as you need, and we will be thinking of you
 

lookingglass

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Take as much time as you need sweetie. We'll be here for you when you come back.

and to you.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.
 

diego

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Originally Posted by sarahp

I don't think I'll be posting much any time in the near future. My life at the moment is revolving around healing, both physically and emotionally and there's nothing else I get excited about that I can share. I will be lurking though, and wanted to let everyone know that I really appreciate the support.

to you all
We all understand. your physical and emotional health is far more important.

Take care.
 

katiemae1277

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Thanks so much for checking in, Sarah, I've been thinking about, I'm sure we all have. I'm glad you're doing ok, and like Susan said take one day at a time. I'm look forward to seeing pics of your gorgeous kitties soon!
 

carwashcats

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Sarah, I can only imagine how difficult it has been, I know it took a lot
to check in with everyone! You are strong, always remember that, I'm glad you have your husband by your side, and vise versa. This will bring you closier
together, I don't know how we all survive any death? except for the grace
of God. He will bless you all... I know he will!!!! And you deserve his blessings!
Take care, and something that helped me so much, was to keep a journal,
write down all your feelings, happy, sad, mad, I have stayed up nights on end writing page after page. It really helps in every way possible! If I were mad one day, I wrote really BIG, and so on! It was good therapy!
we all care so much!
Monique
When I lost Marvin, in total confusion, someone said to me,"You know Monique, God doesn't just need old people in Heaven". It brought a smile to my face, I never thought of it like that, so I thought about how special he was, God chose him early, and how special that really was!"
You know maybe Joshua is there with Marvin, and I can promise you this, he was a fantastic
dad the few short yrs. with Jace! Marvin is probably hanging real close, and getting ready to teach Josh some baseball! Awww, that makes me feel really good!
 
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